Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

@Mistlebeem

It's threads like this that make me hate MN!

"It's not right to still be feeding human milk your human infant, they should be on cows milk now." Seriously think about that for a minute? Whoever has that skewed opinion needs to go and have a little quiet think to themselves.

You continue to do whatever is right for you OP like all breastfeeding mums should. Opinions really are like arseholes and there are plenty of arseholes on here.

But then, at what stage is it acceptable to transition from human milk to cows milk? Does it magically become OK at 5 years old? Or do you disagree fundamentally with drinking cows milk altogether? Not trying to be goady, I'm genuinely interested in your opinion.

People have drunk cows milk since ancient times when there was no formula @fairyhouse yet it’s always accused of being a modern invention designed to eradicate bf

@FortunesFave

I know it's good for them but because we don't live in a third world country, it's also unnecessary. By 18 months children need solids and no longer need milk...they can have cow's milk and gain all the nutrients they need from that.

Loving relationships aren't dependent on breast feeding.

Buy why is it unnecessary? What's wrong with it? why is cow's milk suddenly better?

Sexualising toddlers are we...

Most kids naturally wean between 2 and 4. Being disgusted at a mum naturally breastfeeding at this age is pathetic.

“ But then, at what stage is it acceptable to transition from human milk to cows milk? Does it magically become OK at 5 years old?”

Whenever the child naturally self weans, or the mother chooses to. Which is what the OP is intending to do. For human children this is anything up to around the age of 4ish.

Beyond that, if the family chooses to drink milk, then it would be cow’s milk, goat’s milk etc, because we don’t tend to keep humans for milk production…

It’s so crazy that people say you can just give them cows milk.. I find it odd that we take a child off human milk that is produced for them and then give them the milk from another animal.. All because it’s seen that they don’t need it .. if they don’t need milk and only solids then why the need for cows milk?! Obviously human milk is better for young children than that of an incredibly large farm mammal with milk full of antibiotics and a much higher fat and cholesterol content. I’m not anti milk at all and we drink it as a family but it’s offensive to say that another creatures milk is better than human milk for human child.
Breast feeding is also more than food and does provide comfort and closeness and a whole array in of emotional support and connection. Not to say that this can’t happen with children that are bottle fed or that move on cows milk earlier but to ignore and dismiss that mothers breast feeding their children from birth until when they chose to stop is much better for them goes against all science and common sense.

@TuckMyWin

“ But then, at what stage is it acceptable to transition from human milk to cows milk? Does it magically become OK at 5 years old?”

Whenever the child naturally self weans, or the mother chooses to. Which is what the OP is intending to do. For human children this is anything up to around the age of 4ish.

Beyond that, if the family chooses to drink milk, then it would be cow’s milk, goat’s milk etc, because we don’t tend to keep humans for milk production…

Ok I'll have my final say on this then leave this thread alone. I genuinely do not understand why, if it's OK to give your child cows milk at 3, 4, or whenever they self wean, it is preferable to breastfeed them until that time. I'm not against it at all, but I really believe that the mother often does it as much for her own benefit as the child's. And maybe that's the part that some people find weird. Not me as it happens, live and let live etc. But some people will feel this way. Do what makes you happy as long as your child is happy too.

OP, ignore, ignore, ignore! Although you could always leave the room and sit quietly in private when your toddler wants to nurse. Or you could cut it down to certain times only - say morning and bedtime.

My Mum said to me when my Ds got to 18 months old "I think it's time you stopped that now" and I know she said it because I had (at the time) an undiagnosed chronic illness and was exhausted. But I totally regret listening to her. When I had Dd who is 8 years younger than her Db, my Mum said it again, but this time I stood up for myself and calmly said that I'd stop when Dd and I were both ready to stop. Mum never said another word about it and Dd carried on until she was almost 5 years old (morning and bedtime nursing only for a long time). Both my Dc's are tall and strong and my only regret is listening to my Mum and stopping 'early' with Ds.

Basically, it's not their business.

Nothing wrong with breastfeeding your 18 month old, its your choice and if someone doesnt agree thats their problem. Unfortunately we live in a world where extended breastfeeding is still frowned upon and people are obsessed with the the fact they can hold a cup at that age and shouldnt be having breast. In reality breastfeeding is so much more than nutrition, obviously your toddler is eating solids and drinking from a cup aswell. Ive recently stopped feeding my 2.5 year old and I will defend anyone who wants to feed well into toddlerhood or older.

Fairyhouse I had the same attitude of 'I think it's only for the mother when a child gets to 18 months'...then I had a baby.

@fairyhouse have you ever breastfed a baby? You do realise that is their 100% preference? Shouts, screams, tantrums all the rest. It's good for them and there is evidence of it being beneficial up to 24 months.

@Solo

Fairyhouse I had the same attitude of 'I think it's only for the mother when a child gets to 18 months'...then I had a baby.

👍 this is what I mean. I feel like some people haven't actually got a clue.

I really want to hear about these commuting, tax paying and childcare using animals, I feel like I can’t rest until I know

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@Somethingsnappy what do you mean then when you say animals work? Can you elaborate?[/quote]
Sit yourself down in front of any nature documentary, extra points if it's Sir Davy A, and tell me again you don't think animals do any work. A bit arrogant to think humans are the only species who work. And yes, many species help each other out in rearing the young of other family members. As for commuting, tax etc, I'll find a link for you.....

More information needed, Snappy. Which species leaves its young with another animal 5 days a week, 8 hours a day?

And are you suggesting we should wet nurse rather than use formula?

@Realyorkshiretea

More information needed, Snappy. Which species leaves its young with another animal 5 days a week, 8 hours a day?

And are you suggesting we should wet nurse rather than use formula?

Again, I've said none of those things. People really need to start reading posts properly

@fairyhouse Please, PLEASE explain to me how breastfeeding is ever for the mother or, in your words, 'for her own benefit'. I just don't get that argument, yet I hear it all the time. And if fairyhouse doesn't come back, would anyone else be good enough to explain it?

@Somethingsnappy but you’re broadly saying that because animals do X Y and Z, we should as well. But animals clearly don’t have the pressures we face as human beings which changes the game for us massively. It’s all very well talking about what animals do & nature ‘intends’, but we are very far removed from that life so it’s unreasonable to compare us

@NotAnotherPylon shall I have a go, or at least say how I interpret that?

I don’t think it’s implying anything nefarious. I think people mean it’s for the mother’s benefit as they are trying to keep their children as ‘babies’ and reliant on them by providing something nobody else can. Nothing wrong with that of course, they’re their mums, but past a certain point it speaks of not being able to let go.

The other meaning is that it fulfils the ‘co-sleeping, bfing, sling wearing mummy’ Instagram tagline that seems to be a bit of a trend these days - some mums ‘decide’ this will be their parenting style to fit in with a certain crowd, and a 1 year old self weaning just wouldn’t earn those mum points.

I had one elderly man chat quite happily to me while I was bfing DS then 2, then he complained to the bar staff and the manager barred DH because he couldn't legally bar me. This sparked a bfing sit-in by the local Jewish mothers' association.

Everyone has a point where BF becomes weird and uncomfortable for them, people just vary in when that is.

While I personally wouldn’t BF a toddler, and might feel uncomfortable if I saw someone else doing it, I’d try my hardest not to make them aware of my discomfort- I realise it’s a “me” problem.
OP, if you’re happy with your decision to keep BF then just ignore any comments about it- I’m getting comments from my son’s grandparents about his dummy recently, and it’s just irritating.

Everyone’s got an opinion- but you’re the mum, so it’s up to you.

@Somethingsnappy

I've read your reply perfectly and multiple times.

So @Realyorkshiretea said that animals and humans were "non comparable" - and you disagreed stating animals work and rear each other's young.

But totally failed to acknowledge that of course mother animals do this "work" whilst carrying/nursing their young. Or leaving them in a sett/den for short period to go and hunt.

As opposed to what @Realyorkshiretea clearly meant - leaving the babies home to go to work.

Deliberately misinterpreted just to try and make your anti-BF stance seem less irrational.

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@NotAnotherPylon shall I have a go, or at least say how I interpret that?

I don’t think it’s implying anything nefarious. I think people mean it’s for the mother’s benefit as they are trying to keep their children as ‘babies’ and reliant on them by providing something nobody else can. Nothing wrong with that of course, they’re their mums, but past a certain point it speaks of not being able to let go.

The other meaning is that it fulfils the ‘co-sleeping, bfing, sling wearing mummy’ Instagram tagline that seems to be a bit of a trend these days - some mums ‘decide’ this will be their parenting style to fit in with a certain crowd, and a 1 year old self weaning just wouldn’t earn those mum points.[/quote]
How would one stop a child self weaning though?

I was happy to be done with it when they were so took the standard 'don't offer don't refuse' route. But you can't force someone to eat.

@NatashaRf of course not, and I don’t think that applies to most people still bfing. I’m referring to people like PP’s SIL - who offer offer offer even when it isn’t asked for.

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@NatashaRf of course not, and I don’t think that applies to most people still bfing. I’m referring to people like PP’s SIL - who offer offer offer even when it isn’t asked for.[/quote]
Fair dos.

I do doubt the legitimacy of that leaking post though. Having breastfed toddlers there wasn't any instances at all of leaking at any point after the early days. And I had a LOT of milk with my DC. Leaked profusely until feeding was established (4-6 months maybe)

Sounds like a story made up for dramatic anti BF effect.