Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

[quote NatashaRf]@Somethingsnappy

I've read your reply perfectly and multiple times.

So @Realyorkshiretea said that animals and humans were "non comparable" - and you disagreed stating animals work and rear each other's young.

But totally failed to acknowledge that of course mother animals do this "work" whilst carrying/nursing their young. Or leaving them in a sett/den for short period to go and hunt.

As opposed to what @Realyorkshiretea clearly meant - leaving the babies home to go to work.

Deliberately misinterpreted just to try and make your anti-BF stance seem less irrational. [/quote]
I think my post has been completely misunderstood! I'm about as far from anti BF as its possible to be. I have BF all my children beyond two years and I regularly post in defence and support of natural term weaning.

When I posted my first post, it was a simple response to a poster saying animals don't work or help each other to rear their young. I just disagreed with that comment. And had no other agenda or point to make at all. Because, in fact, they do.

Maybe Natasha, but as this is an online forum where nothing can be verified, we sort of have to treat posts like they’re not made up unless there’s real evidence to suggest otherwise. Otherwise this whole thing falls apart doesn’t it!

I think you know I meant ‘work’ work Snappy, as humans we don’t spend our days hunting prey and building dens (anymore sadly):

[quote BiscuitLover09876]@fairyhouse have you ever breastfed a baby? You do realise that is their 100% preference? Shouts, screams, tantrums all the rest. It's good for them and there is evidence of it being beneficial up to 24 months.[/quote]
@BiscuitLover09876 yes. I said in a previous post that I breastfed both my babies until they were one. Gradually cut down to last thing at night before bedtime, then just stopped. My preference, and worked well for us.

@Realyorkshiretea

I think you know I meant ‘work’ work Snappy, as humans we don’t spend our days hunting prey and building dens (anymore sadly):

Speak for yourself .

Anyway, I do actually apologise for throwing my little post in there. Because in fact, there are so many different simultaneous veins of conversation or debate on this thread that some posters (no doubt myself included) have got lost as to who is arguing with whom or which post is addressing which post.

So OP, stick to your guns! You and only you know what is best for your baby. 18 months is so young still. Many people in Britain just don't understand or have no experience of natural term weaning.

As for the comments that inevitably spring up on every thread about why would someone 'need' to BF beyond a year, when cow's milk is available.... Please, please, stop and have a good hard think about that comment. If I want and am able to feed my human baby my own human milk, then why would milk from a different species be preferable?

@Somethingsnappy @Realyorkshiretea

Aye I think we all got a bit mixed up there

In any case OP. It's your baby. Your boobs. You do as you wish and ignore everyone else.

[quote NatashaRf]**@Somethingsnappy* @Realyorkshiretea*

Aye I think we all got a bit mixed up there

In any case OP. It's your baby. Your boobs. You do as you wish and ignore everyone else. [/quote]

Anyway, a good old debate to get our teeth stuck into... What's not to love? Breastfeeding 9 year olds, tax-paying and commuting goats etc etc... Heaven.

[quote NotAnotherPylon]@fairyhouse Please, PLEASE explain to me how breastfeeding is ever for the mother or, in your words, 'for her own benefit'. I just don't get that argument, yet I hear it all the time. And if fairyhouse doesn't come back, would anyone else be good enough to explain it?[/quote]
@NotAnotherPylon
Really this is my last post as this is obviously such an emotive topic and I can see I am unintentionally upsetting some posters. I have said all along I'm very much live and let live and we all have different opinions and approaches. However you asked and I will give my opinion (and it just an opinion which you can choose to agree or disagree with, I will never force my opinion on others because what is the point, you believe what you believe as you are entitled to do)

Some mothers, in my opinion, continue to breast feed past the point of their child wanting/needing it because

• they enjoy the bond it gives them with their child and are unwilling to give that up or
• they are aware that this is their last baby and they want the baby years to continue for as long as possible (very much the case with SIL as I posted earlier)
• they enjoy the feeling that breastfeeding is something only they can give their child
• it ties in with other values they have for example they are vegan, obviously not a choice the baby can make for themselves

@fairyhouse. While all 4 of those points are valid reasons for why a mother may enjoy BF and be reluctant to stop, the point remains that you cannot still keep feeding a child past them wanting it. BF is active on the child's part, not passive. Impossible to force them if they don't want it.

My daughter will be 2 next month and she still asks for milk quite regularly, even if it's not "necessary" it's still a lovely thing for the child to be comforted by and a great source of hydration. It's not weird or icky, they're children and you guys can choose when you want to stop and ignore everyone else.

I'll stop when she wants to stop.

Also to add, children naturally lose the ability to suckle effectively at the age of 8, so if nature didn't intend for long term nursing I don't know why our bodies have been made this way!

This country does make me laugh. Breastmilk from a human is disgusting after a certain age so damn it feed them breastmilk from another species instead. It's just bonkers!

@ItsSnowJokes do you drink cows milk?

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@ItsSnowJokes do you drink cows milk?[/quote]
No I don't actually. I'm a vegan.

@ Realyorkshiretea it doesn’t really matter if an adult drinks cows milk or not - the point is that we take children and babies off biologically appropriate mothers breast milk to give them other creatures milk and then judge mothers who continue to feed their child breast milk when they clearly want / need milk.. Adults do lots of things children shouldn’t ..

The point @ItsSnowJokes was making us is completely correct.. how is human breast milk inappropriate after a certain age when we then give it another species breast milk instead..?!

Am not judging either way but essentially mothers breast milk is always going to be best for a human child, until child warns themselves and wants milk.. why is that so difficult to accept..breast milk is better in every single way that formula or cows milk for human babies and children..

I’m not anti formula or milk by the way, i had to use formula for a few months for various reasons and switched from bf to formula because of allergies when child was 14 months as i wanted to stop bf and child now still has cows milk every day, I am just someone that is happy to accept scientific and biological fact. Human milk is best for human babies..

I bf my DS until just over 2. I'm still bf my DD and she is coming up to 2. I do think at times she prefers to feed rather than eat if tired, but generally she eats well. I will feed in public if she asks, mostly people don't notice and some do stare, but hey she is still very young, she's a baby until 2 in my opinion, but I am not stopping her growing up.

My DS who's now 6, has not and will not drink cows milk and doesn't even like it in Cereal unless it's mixed in like weetabix or porridge. I don't see he needs to drink cows milk to be healthy now.

NatashaRf sorry, I can't quote you, but I leaked a lot way past 6 months, but that may have been because I was back at work and had to express without facilities to do so.

Anyway, everyone is different.

@user1481050140 is there any age in which your opinion which is ‘too old’ for bfing?

Thank you @Realyorkshiretea and @fairyhouse for those explanations. I appreciate that these aren't necessarily your views, but how you believe others might perceive extended breastfeeding. I find it both sad and frustrating that people think this way - as if women are doing it for selfish reasons. I breastfed my DC until they were around 3. I had no agenda aside from doing what felt right for us. The only benefit I can think of for me (I believe there were plenty for them) was the ease with which I was able to comfort my children when they were hurt or distressed. It was an easy fix - which they sought from me, rather than me offering it to them. But then again, that was of benefit to them too. Of course, extra hugs replaced comfort feeds once they weaned!

I haven’t read all 10 pages so no doubt I am repeating others but I find it so weird that people talk about it not being necessary and that they can just have cows milk.
There are so many things I do for my children that aren’t necessary but are beneficial. Breastfeeding is one of them. Reading to them, painting with them, cooking them healthy meals from scratch to name a few more things that aren’t necessary but are beneficial.
I could feed them cows milk but milk made to grow a human is more beneficial than milk made to grow a calf so I choose breastmilk.
Breastmilk has antibodies and numerous other components that make it superior to cows milk or formula.

I have a friend who breastfeeds her 2yr2mnth old and I am very uncomfortable when she does. Sorry, I wouldn’t ever say anything but it’s just not right.

Not at all. You go for it. It doesn't stop being the most incredible source of nutrition and tailor made antibodies, especially given the state of things.

I was pregnant whilst breastfeeding my eldest but I think meant I stopped doing it public so much so it became an at home/ with family thing before 18months. My friend was still breastfeeding in public for longer than that.

Also if you're on Facebook i warmly recommend the breastfeeding older babies group.

Honestly society is going to get better adjusted if we modify our reasonable behaviour to suit others outdated sensibilities. If you're comfortable go for it. If you're not then start gently introducing it to be a home thing.

Fortunately none of my friends have chosen to do this breastfeeding of toddlers and even older children. . But if they had I would have felt uncomfortable and would probably have made an excuse not to be there.

@NotAnotherPylon not my views at all and I can’t stand the ‘bitty’ bullies

But equally I don’t like the health benefits being overstated, which they always are, because that needlessly worries ff mums

It’s great on paper, negligible in terms of a person’s overall health. Plus most of the people calling cow milk ‘unnatural’ have it in their coffee lol. People who feel very strongly about bf are also generally mums who didn’t have to go back to work early, formula has been very freeing for women and they overlook that

So basically neither ‘side’ will ever approve of my posts lol

@ProfessorPeach

I have a friend who breastfeeds her 2yr2mnth old and I am very uncomfortable when she does. Sorry, I wouldn’t ever say anything but it’s just not right.

If you really believe it to ‘not be right’ then you should absolutely say something. If you saw your friend doing something else that you believed to just ‘not be right’, say, putting a tot of whisky in her child’s sippy cup, to help her sleep, I really hope you’d say something. The fact that you haven’t said anything, and wouldn’t in fact ‘ever say anything’ suggests you know full well that her breastfeeding her child is not ‘not right’ but rather your reaction is the thing that is not right at all.

No judgement btw, our crazy society has led you to feel that way.

Hahahahahahaha

Anyone that says mothers breastfeed toddlers for their benefit is so delusional there is no reasoning with them. Breastfeeding toddlers is such an absolute pain in the ass, but it is VERY hard to stop!!!