Long term consequences of a baby not eating

[lavenderandwisteria]

I can’t get ds (8 months) to wean. I have arranged for the HV to see him but I’m not hugely confident she’ll be able to tell me anything I don’t already know.

What are the consequences if this continues?

You seem very closed to the many suggestions on here. I didn't say there wasn't an issue, I just asked a question.

Good luck

Well yes exactly. It isn’t being closed it’s about the fact I’ve tried these things and he still doesn’t eat. That isn’t being closed, it’s saying this hasn’t worked for us.

I’m sorry it offends you. But I can’t pretend something is going to magically work.

Nothing - he'll be fine. My daughter - in the days when weaning started at 4 months showed zero interest and mostly breastfed fir the first 15 months. Try not to get stressed as children pick up on this. Just keep offering here and there. You don5 see many adults who only drink milk.

But just because he is not interested in a food one time does not mean you don't offer it again, tastes and interest will vary. It is very frustrating to prepare meals only for them to be refused but if you offer whatever you have cooked for yourselves, ie a few pieces of plain pasta, a finger of toast, or preprepared food such as diced fruit which he can mouth and suck, it is probably enough for now with less angst.

Yes I know that thanks, we’ve been trying for two and a half months.

You've not answered if you're offering food before or after his milk. It might seem ridiculous but many new parents make the same mistake and then panic that their child isn't eating. I worked ina baby room in a nursery for years and helped many many parents with children who just wouldn't eat.

@lavenderandwisteria

Yes, that’s what worries me. I get that food is for fun before they are one but if that was really true we just wouldn’t feed them before one? Plus shouldn’t we be trying to wean him off bottles then?

If he drinks from the bottle, add Abidec drops to the milk so at least he is getting iron and vitamins.

Mine ate nothing, nothing until he was 11 months old even getting a bottle in his mouth was hard work. Then one day, out of nowhere he ate roast chicken and some carrot. There were no consequences to him not eating, he is now 15 months and, so long as he can feed himself there isn't much he won't eat.

I think the message from your child is very clear - he is not ready. Go with that flow, as long as he is getting full complement of milk plus iron and vitamins. There will come a day when he is ready. He will not be drinking milk alone when he is taking his GCSEs!!
Try not to worry about this. It will come in time.

Havent rtft and will be flamed for this but I believe in the old fashioned ways. A spoon feed and when they’re showing no interested, a pink wafer bloody biscuit! I was the oldest cousin of about 2 dozen granchildren and would just be trying a bit of sweet yogurt on my (scrupulously clean) little finger in their gob before they could protest. You’ll SOON spark their interest. Once the get over that initial hurdle, soggy toast for a good old munch seems to work. Also, they still have bottles of milk well into toddler hood (or mine did) but I really did cut those down to make sure they were hungry.

I would insisit on getting him checked but quite simply to reassure YOU. He might never be someone that has a huge appetite. But until he can tell you I do understand that it is your cross to bear.

How about incorporating food into play rather than mealtimes?
The preparing to eat phase isn’t just about chewing, swallowing and tastes but about the whole sensory experience - smells, appearance, the feel of food in his hands.

You could try adding food colouring to yoghurt and letting him finger paint with it, making up cooked spaghetti or a bowl of jelly for some messy play, hiding some toys he likes to suck and chew on in a bowl of dry cereal or wet porridge for him to explore. All of this counts as getting used to the idea of food even if he never eats any of it.

I’d do this separately to mealtimes rather than instead. He doesn’t need to be in a high chair for this if he hates it. He can do it on a mat/vinyl tablecloth on the floor as long as he’s closely supervised.

Who is pressurising you to drop the bottles? And why?

I had very similar issues and one of the ways we made progress was to offer foods at mealtimes but make no comment either way. This was to establish routine.

The actual progress was with messy play. We bought very small cookie cutters and cut age appropriate fruit into thin slices (so like apple) and then stamped out stars/ triangles etc etc and literally got them out like they were a toy. I used to try and encourage my DD to sort into the same shapes (all the stars together for example). I used to cook sweet corn and peas and put them in her tuff tray with blocks as well.

Then at meal times her food toys would appear and she'd play with them and eventually she clocked that these toys tasted ok.

I also added baby safe food dye to yoghurt and we did finger painting etc. For her it was very sensory.

I understand your worries. I was worried. It will get better but it might be hard work for a bit. Good luck!

Teeth I think. Not sure. But bottles are discouraged past the age of one I believe.

I do appreciate the advice but I was just wondering what sort of problems we might be running into if he continues to refuse food. My main concern is there is a window I think where skills related to eating can be learned and if we miss that there could well be problems.

Are you giving a feed in the night? Is he perhaps off a traditional 3 meal schedule , maybe preferring mid morning/ afternoon instead.

Posters are giving suggestions and support but I'm not sure what you hoped for from the thread.

Ah, I see. He can still have his milk though - just from a cup/beaker. Will he drink from one of those?

(And sorry, I was concerned that either your partner or HV were pressurising you to move away from milk, not just the physical bottle!)

The only thing I’m aware of about a ‘window’ is that if you don’t try them with different textures or they don’t go for these early on then it can take longer for them to eat a good variety of foods. This isn’t a disaster by any means - the vast, vast majority of kids get there with eating a good enough range of foods (with lots of refusals from most kids along the way).

I would imagine that if he continues not to put any food in his mouth at all after one, your Gp will be able to refer you to a paediatrician and they can look at any possible underlying reasons to do with the mechanics of swallowing for example.

Another thing that can make a difference is seeing other kids eat. My little one eats loads at nursery that he won’t try at home because there are other kids there and he wants to get involved as he sees them trying and enjoying things. That will probably help more a bit further down the line as they are not very social at this age.

@lavenderandwisteria

Well yes exactly. It isn’t being closed it’s about the fact I’ve tried these things and he still doesn’t eat. That isn’t being closed, it’s saying this hasn’t worked for us.

I’m sorry it offends you. But I can’t pretend something is going to magically work.

It hasn't worked yet but that's the thing you need to just offer things every day. It doesn't matter if he won't try just keep going and one day something will go in his mouth ! You've been given lots of good ideas on here for you to keep trying I hope something works for you

@lavenderandwisteria

Yes I know that thanks, we’ve been trying for two and a half months.

So you started at 5.5 months?

I worry that you're putting a lot of pressure not only on him, but also you and your partner. You're all getting very anxious about this. I wonder if this is the reason why he hates being in his high chair?

I can see/understand that you're very worried about potential developmental delays, but at this stage - as many PP have said - there really isn't an issue. They all develop different things at different times. Now really isn't the point at which you should worry! (And I appreciate it's easy to say that).

Why not just give it a break for a couple of weeks? Just let him have his milk, as and when he's ready for it. Be guided by his appetite (for milk) as well, rather than trying to work to a specific schedule. Just because you think it's breakfast time doesn't necessarily mean he agrees!

Oh I’m sure it is me but I don’t know how to undo the damage I’ve done if you see what I mean. Started at 5.5 months on HV advice.

Hi OP, I really understand your concern as my first son was similar. He was actually diagnosed with anaemia at 11 months which undermines the whole before 1 food is for fun thing as in now understand that iron reserves start running low around 6 months and diet is important for keeping the iron levels up. He had a course of iron supplements and getting him into eating was hard work but we cracked in the end. Funnily enough I was trying all kinds of things just to get him to eat and he took a fancy to bread and cream cheese and from there his relationship with food blossomed. He’s now a 9 year old with a very healthy appetite and no ill effects from his anaemia and slow start with food.

But to balance that out, I was extremely relaxed with the other babies and didn’t experience the same resistance. You will get there and your baby will eat. Wishing you all the best.

I was in exactly the same situation with my DS. He was ebf and only interested in milk. I tried spoon feeding and baby led but he took to neither. Spoon feeding was worse, family thought I was exaggerating that he would not be fed but his lips remained shut whenever food was near. Weirdly he was full of energy. He started commando crawling at 4 months and was crawling properly and trying to stand at 6 months so it never seemed to impact his energy. HVs offered advice to keep trying and we did even though it was very stressful. I was very anxious at the time as for him it seemed sensory as if touching the food repulsed him. At around 10 months we started to have a breakthrough with fruit and snacks and some Sainsbury’s baby star cereal (dry no milk due to him not liking soggy texture), by 12 months he was eating fruit, cereal, cream cheese sandwiches and cheesy pasta. On one or two occasions he would surprise us and try something but he remained very fussy. Even in desperation we would try custard or something chocolatey which other babies would demolish but nothing! He started nursery and still didn’t eat much. I was constantly worried about protein but he can get that from milk. He is now 23 months and it is only the past 3 or 4 months we have seen a change. He is now interested in food and asks for it, loves getting messy with food and we have been able to take him to a restaurant recently for the first time. It’s no longer a battle which is such a relief.

It really feels awful when you are in it but I assure you it is early days. It may not resolve itself quickly (it definitely didn’t for us!) but over time he will get there. What didn’t help is seeing so much on Instagram etc about weaning with all these elaborate meals and homemade snacks. I quickly learnt that I was wasting my time and causing more stress by looking at these pages. Second baby due soon and this time I know not to worry or pressure them as it makes no difference whatsoever. They will get their when they are ready.

I was also concerned about speech due to not eating but he said his first proper word (not mama or dada) same week as his first birthday and is talking fine now.

Does he put other things in his mouth? Like toys or his fingers?
Does he enjoy messy play? Will he play with play dough/paint/water?
Does he had any allergies or food intolerance that you know of?
Does he have any breathing/congestion issues? Is he snotty a lot? Does he snore?

Babies will eat sooner or later, there is no set age for this. What do you try and get your baby to eat..I would just mush up some different things,if the baby has some problems with eating, like soupy things,with different nutrients in them. then he should get a taste for some things that he may like.Then you can just adjust the consistency of things later. and hope he gets used to everything..