Long term consequences of a baby not eating

[lavenderandwisteria]

I can’t get ds (8 months) to wean. I have arranged for the HV to see him but I’m not hugely confident she’ll be able to tell me anything I don’t already know.

What are the consequences if this continues?

I would wait until 9 months and try to relax about it (I know easier said than done) if he senses you are stressing then he will be even more put off.

If still NO food by 9 months then seek medical input and be prepared to be very insistent about the fact he is eating NOTHING.

In the meantime keep presenting different foods in a range of different forms - finger food, sensory play, spoon feeding smooth purees, lumpy purees.

If he is eating any amount of solids by 9 months then you can relax and not worry. DS1 barely ate anything from about 9-22 months and he is absolutely fine. Nearly 13, starting puberty, doing well at school. He still doesn't eat much. His digestion is frankly not great. But health wise otherwise he is absolutely fine. I tried so many ridiculous things on the advice of HVs, family, friends etc and in the end he just needed some time. All I did by plying him with junk food and screens was give him a taste for junk food and screens

When you have a meal, does he sit in his high chair with you?

For now, I'd take all the pressure off.

Every mealtime, pop him in the high chair next to you so he gets used to the rhythm of meals. Move his milk to after you've eaten.

Pop a melty stick or a rice cake or some toast on his tray and get on with your meal, leave him to it.

If he doesn't eat it fine, if he does great. Praise him eating but ignore him not eating.

Definitely ask your HV or GP for a referral - it might take a while so better to get in early.

Does he have a lot of milk still? Some babies won’t try solids on a full stomach.

That’s good that he chewing toys etc.

Like I said before I am sure you have done everything you can think of but just in case you haven’t, try putting some food on his highchair tray while you do other things nearby and pretending not to watch(obviously keep a sneaky eye on him), I had to do this with one of mine for a while as he didn’t like anyone paying him attention while eating. A favourite food was meatballs in a tomato sauce, he liked to hold the meatball and suck and rub his gums on it a bit like a teething toy.

My dd is 17 months and is only now eating any quantity of food. And anyway, that was yesterday, today she might not eat much at all. I'm not worried.

In answer to your actual question, as far as I'm aware there aren't any. He'll get there in his own time.

I've recently cut (cows) milk down to one bottle a day, with an oz or two in water for naps. This has increased her appetite. She's always been interested in food (though mainly for its mess-making ability) and I've never made an issue of it.

OP two things that stand out here

1. hes waking in the night and that is leaving you both tired. I suspect that is a large part of what has you so anxious here.
2. you are overly, very much so, anxious. How are you? How is your mood? Do you worry like this about other things?

At his age any amount of food he may or may not eat has very little nutritional value or calorie value. His formula is all he needs nutritionally until hes one. You should be supplementing with some vitamin drops thar contain iron as we don't get enough vit D in the UK (not enough sun) and his natural iron reserves will be used up by now.

Take some deep breaths and find a way to move past your feelings around his eating. Kids are intuitive and if every meal time you are on pins and worried he will be picking up on it. Ensure his high chair actually sits at the table with you and just give him access to whatever you're eating. Don't try spooning food in, he obviously doesn't want to entertain that and its just going to create a negative Association with food.

Other things to help during play get down on the floor with him, some plastic bowls or some pans and spoons and play. Show him stirring, lifting the spoon and putting it in your mouth. Babies learn through imitation.

Lastly. Weaning doesn't equal sleep. Sleeping through the night is a neurological developmental process that if left to develop naturally happens around the time a child develops basic survival needs (independent mobility/feeding ) it can be forced through sleep training but that's a different thread.

Just give it time. My second didn't eat until he was 11 (nearly 12) months - not a mouthful. That was breastfeeding & BLW. He used to take each bit of food & throw it as far as he could.
My other kids were very interested in food from 6months
He's 10 now & still fairly uninterested in food (unless it's pizza or cake ) but fit as a fiddle & freakishly strong.

I had a friend who’s daughter just would not eat anything. And I mean anything. She was still fully formula fed until she was about 3. Even then she’d only eat a mouthful or two of every meal. Shes 6 now and although still a fussy eater will now eat 3 meals a day and has only one cup of milk a day. That’s an extreme case and she’s still hit all her milestones and is a bright, lovely little girl.

Don’t panic. It isn’t anything you’re doing or not doing - trust me. I know it’s easier said than done to say don’t worry (I have anxiety myself) but it’s worth trying to stay calm around food - they do pick up on your moods and you don’t want mealtimes to be a battleground or for him to sense as he gets bigger that this is something he can get a good reaction from.

I would just persevere but try not to panic. The point at which he needs nutrition from food rather than milk is closer to one. He will not be being damaged by being on milk. So just keep offering in a low key way. Maybe put snacks around for him to experiment with while playing. It doesn’t have to all be at a table at this age (if it’s something like a melty puff or rice cake that won’t damage your furnishings!).

Does he spend time with other children? Does he have any cousins, or friends’ children, who he could watch eating or hang out with around a mealtime/snack time? I found peer pressure helped with DC1 and he ate way better at the childminder’s house than at home.

Your HV is a good port of call - they may suggest a speech and language therapist as it could be to do with his tongue and the mechanics of his mouth. I don’t mean anything to worry about but, for example, he might have a tongue tie which hasn’t been picked up and that can make it harder for them to manipulate solids in their mouths.

I have two DC and DC1 was a nightmare. He was sort of ok eating some stuff until around 8/9 months when he had norovirus and then he refused to eat anything that wasn’t an Ella’s Kitchen pouch for ages. (I appreciate your DC isn’t eating anything.) The health visitor gave me a complete bollocking at his one year review and told me I just had to make him eat proper food. She didn’t seem to understand that he just wouldn’t. No matter what I did. He got there in the end. He’s still fussy! He also had an undiagnosed tongue tie which I’m sure was related.

I weaned DC2 in exactly the same way. He ate from day 1. So it was nothing I did or didn’t do.

my dc only started to have meaningful quantities af around 9 months old.
we offered a variety of tastes and textures (basically whatever we had minus salt).
as long as they have their milk 'food before one is for fun'.

I don't know about any studies done into the specifics of this. But I can share my DSs weaning journey. Honestly he only properly started to eat after he turned 1.

It was really difficult to get him to even taste anything. I think maybe by 10 months we had a small breakthrough and he would have a spoon or two. I continued to give him the same amount of milk, never reduced it in fear of under feeding him. He's under paediatric care so his doctor was aware and just told me to try and drop his night feed. This in turn would make him hungrier in the day. He wasn't too concerned as he was following his percentile and we had a plan. I always offered food first and he also seemed to try more when we ate with him at the dinner table.

By 12 months he randomly just stopped allowing me to spoon feed him and decided himself to do BLW and now is a great eater at 15 months. We've had no health concerns related to his late weaning. I wouldn't worry as 8 months is still quite young. I think kids just do things at their own pace when they're ready.

Thanks a lot for your help.

I know weaning doesn’t equal sleeping through the night but there is a sort of balance. For example, for the last two nights he woke up once and twice respectively. I’d say that’s normal and not really a problem.

Other nights like last night he’s up every hour and that is a problem, because it’s exhausting but for him too.

I think some protein would help there I really do.

He doesn’t take very big bottles so it does become difficult.

He hates his high chair and cries when he’s in it. I am out of ideas really!

Food before one is for fun I was told

Yes but on that logic we wouldn’t start weaning at all until they were one. This age is supposed to be about tasting and experimenting. Sure it doesn’t matter if half their dinner goes on the floor, that’s what the milk is for, but I don’t think that literally means they eat nothing until their first birthday. And his first birthday is only four months away.

I think the best thing you can do is relax, don’t let him pick up on the stress. He is still only little, chances are as he gets older he will eat more but if he doesn’t that can be tackled as he gets older.

I would try to encourage lots of sensory play to get him used to different textures and things.

I would sit him in his high chair away from meal times so he gets used to it as a seat rather than somewhere associated with food to get him comfy with being there.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink as they say!

4 months is a long time when your only 8 months though. Think how much he will have changed and developed since he was 4 months old

Lots of children are still exclusively breast fed till past 1 except for the random pea or raspberry.

He isn’t breast fed, though. So there is pressure to get him off the bottle.

Thanks Sirzy

I can’t help on the science side of things but my (v big and heavy fully EBF) DS1 hardly ate anything till he was 2. He messed about with food and put it in his mouth and tasted it but wasn’t interested in actually eating in any quantity. He would only eat yoghurt and fruit purée and continued to have milk. I was worried at the time but you can’t force a child to eat and in his case I think he just wasn’t hungry. His weight plateaued from 9 months onwards and he gradually lost the chub.

He then started eating of his own accord once he was a bit older. He is now a super skinny and very healthy 9yo, who regulates his own appetite extremely well.

If he was having loads of milk I wouldn’t worry as much but he only takes 5oz bottles. He dropped a centile when he was weighed at 5.5 months and he does look a bit … leaner than he did, somehow.

Don’t be pressured to take him off the bottle if that’s where he is getting his nutrients from then that’s fine. Maybe offer food first in the morning before the bottle to see if hunger makes him more likely to eat

He’s never hungry in the morning, it takes at least a hour to get him to have milk.

Answering honestly because that's what you have requested. There is a link to speech delay. The muscles babies use to chew and swallow are also the muscles babies need to start to form words.

8 months there is still plenty of time.

I also have a 9 month baby under speech and language care bwcuSe of solid refusal. We are making progress at her own pace

Thanks @Fredsgirl19 I was worried about something like that

I’m already worried about this due to lockdown.

I would make sure the HV weighs him then and ask for his weight to be monitored regularly. It may be that he ends up needing a more calorie dense milk while his appetite is encouraged