Long term consequences of a baby not eating

[lavenderandwisteria]

I can’t get ds (8 months) to wean. I have arranged for the HV to see him but I’m not hugely confident she’ll be able to tell me anything I don’t already know.

What are the consequences if this continues?

When are you offering food? What’s your daytime routine like?

Loads of great advice here. My DS2 was slightly slower to get going with weaning than my first. I understand that it can be incredibly frustrating when you are offering things and they are refused.

What I did when my DS2 was not interested in the spoon was to put some yoghurt or puree on my finger and put to his mouth and see if he would lick it off and he did, even if it's just a few tastes at first, could you try that? He soon got really into it.

Also teething can make the gums so sore as you know, is he cutting any teeth? Could you try some teething gel a bit before offering him something?

How about some chopped up banana in a bowl, sit him with you, even put a programme on the TV and then see if he will look at it and try to pick it up, lick his fingers etc? Some babies love soft puree types and others are perfectly happy to pick up chunks of veg or fruit themselves.

Has your DH tried to offer him food?

Have you posted previously? Was he a reflux baby? If so he may still be uncomfortable eating and swallowing even if not vomiting.

Note that you say he is starting to get mobile and trying to pull himself up. Could you make it into a game, try to tempt him with a few things on various plates just dotted along the couch and have him stand up next to it, see if he reaches for anything?

My DS didn't take to weaning well at all nd was well over 12 months before he ate anything of substance.

He's now 15 and doesn't stop eating!! Honestly I wouldn't worry. It's very early days in your weaning journey.

Are you offering food before or after his bottle?

Not understanding why there's pressure to get him off the bottle at less than a year old.

I honestly think my DS was picking up on my anxiety over him not eating, when I relaxed and tried not to force it things went better.

My daughter was like this she hated everything and only drink milk I used to squirt fruit pouches on her high chair tray as a kind of messy play instead of food and she used to put her hands into her mouth so some of it did go in ! Messy but worth it to know something has gone down. She eventually go better with taking things from the spoon but took ages to eat solids as she used to gag. She is perfectly fine and very healthy and eats absolutely everything now so please try not to worry.

At the moment I’m not offering food. Tried this morning and still nothing so just having a break.

I’m just concerned that it’s going to impact on his development. Especially given he doesn’t have huge bottles.

Is he growing, developing, meeting milestones, content? Dd ate very little until a year+, was small then and is still petite and light at almost 20!

My DS was like this at 8 months. He gradually started eating more. He's now 4 and a great eater. I think it's pretty common for 8 month olds not to be very interested in food.

At the moment I’m not offering food. Tried this morning and still nothing so just having a break what did you do/ offer?

Why?

Offered scrambled egg and a bit of toast.

I would keep gently offering food, even if it’s sitting with him when your eating and putting a few bits in front of him. As tempting as not offering must be when he is little exposure to things gently is more likely to help than avoiding it at all.

Can you maybe do picnic type lunches? If you have friends with similar age little ones then you could do it with them and he may learn a bit from watching the other babies

Good idea to take a break from it. For both of you it will reset you a bit.

Still try to get him used to the high chair and involve him in your meal times.

High chairs are a great place to do things like play doh or other drawing / messy activities. If you do fun things in there he might start to like it more.

How did you offer? Just place it in front of him or do you try and cajole him into eating?
How long after he'd woken up did you offer and was it before or after his milk?
These are all relevant questions as he could just be genuinely not hungry when you're trying.

Is he teething? Maybe try cold and smooth (yoghurt, hummous, chilled fruit, bananas).

I don’t have anything to do with it apart from the cooking. Dp did it.

He won’t Liz, I don’t feel it’s through lack of variety that he isn’t eating. I really don’t know how many ways I can say that he doesn’t eat anything. He doesn’t eat toast, egg, muffins, fruit, veg, chicken, fish, cheese - just doesn’t seem to understand what to do.

Those are all quite ambitious food for a little one .

Dip your finger in some yoghurt or puree and put it in his mouth.

Give him some puree to play with.

Was he offered the toast and eggs after or before milk?

I had similar issues with ds. He did take some food but very little. At 8 months he was still reliant on me for bf as he wouldn’t take a bottle.
You need a dietitian referral and possibly a salt referral.
We progressed painfully slowly and I’m still buying jars and pouches and he’s now 4. The range of food he will eat is gradually increasing and is considered good by the hv. With ds it’s very much texture issues so we still get a whole dinner returned at the table if he suddenly gets something the wrong texture! He also has speech delay but he is catching up now
I just gave ds what he would eat within reason, jelly, ice cream, chocolate buttons,
Victoria sandwich, ginger bread men. I found sweeter novelty foods worked better and whilst it’s not ideal I needed calories in him from a source other than me! Just leave food around such as melty sticks, skips, Pom bears, bits of grated cheese and he might find them whilst playing and give it a go. When he’s a bit older you could send him to nursery, it’s amazing what they’ll eat when others are eating it.

Okay @MrsPelligrinoPetrichor I get that you don’t think there’s a concern but I’m sorry, I am. I’m not being an arse but now many times … he won’t eat. He won’t eat yoghurt or purée or whatever it is.

I do think we need a referral. Not sure how though.

@lavenderandwisteria my oldest DD wouldn't 'eat' food until she was one! She played with it, put it in her mouth like she did with toys and made a fucking mess with it but no proper eating. She did have the odd bread stick.
I remember worrying but tbh she was fine she's 16, now. No problems. Health visitors can make you feel terrible about things. Remember they only offer advice just like anybody else and they're not always right.

I also saw a hv as I was worried about DD 1 (now 2.5) so I know how you feel. The advice she gave me was helpful.

1. don’t worry about cooking any ‘special’ food for baby. Offer them a little of something every single time you eat, so for example a bit of your breakfast lunch and dinner and any snacks, fruit , croissant whatever you’re having.
2. try taking them out to a cafe a few times a week so they are distracted and might copy others.
3. arrange to meet up with other babies and eat together so again they copy.
4. solids before milk but don’t cut down the milk

She still didn’t eat a SINGLE THING until she was about 11 months which was frustrating and the clean up several times a day was annoying (cafe helped with this!!) but she’s now a toddler and there don’t seem to be any long term consequences.

Please try not to worry and just keep going