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Original poster

Long term consequences of a baby not eating

155 replies

lavenderandwisteria · 07/08/2021 10:01

I can’t get ds (8 months) to wean. I have arranged for the HV to see him but I’m not hugely confident she’ll be able to tell me anything I don’t already know.

What are the consequences if this continues?

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FTEngineerM · 07/08/2021 12:13

So if you sat on the floor with him on a giant muslin or something and had a plate of toast in fingers and maybe some chopped up fruit and you we’re eating from it.. what would he do?

Original poster
lavenderandwisteria · 07/08/2021 12:14

Nothing. Sorry if that sounds abrupt

OP posts:
Katiebee008 · 07/08/2021 12:18

My DS is adopted, wasn't really eating any solids by 13 months old when he came home and struggled to get him to eat anything solid until 18 months. He has a severe phonological disorder that I put down to this, as he just wasn't using the muscles in his mouth. He is nearly 5 now and has private speech therapy and is making good progress.

At your DSs age I would just continue to offer and encourage solid food. He will eventually take to it.

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LIZS · 07/08/2021 12:18

Milk is fine up to a year. Formula is fortified. Just keep offering different foods and textures ideally before a milk feed and eat with him at the table. Mouthing food is fine but of you are worried about coordination or swallowing ask your hv.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 07/08/2021 12:24

If he hates the high chair have you tried him elsewhere? It could be that he's so worked up he just can't eat, I know as adults we get like that.
I know it's so much easier said than done, but try not to worry. These next 4 months he will change rapidly. Look at the difference in him from being newborn to 4 months old, and from 4 months old to now. He has plenty of time to become interested in food.
Also, this may seem obvious and you've probably already tried but don't offer milk until after you've offered food. You said it takes a while for him to drink his milk in the morning, maybe try offering food around an hour or so after he wakes and then a bottle if he doesn't eat.

Original poster
lavenderandwisteria · 07/08/2021 12:25

Yeah I’ve tried him in his Bumbo and on the sofa … I am flummoxed, I really am. Also tried eating in cafes and so on.

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/08/2021 12:25

Food until 1 is for fun means just that, it's fun, getting used to it etc. After 1 is when a baby needs the nutrition from food.

Relax, seriously. Keep offering food. He will eat in his own good time like all babies do.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 07/08/2021 12:26

Could you sit him on your knee while you eat? That way he sees you eating and he's within arms reach to grab a bit if he's feeling adventurous

Original poster
lavenderandwisteria · 07/08/2021 12:27

That is exactly the point though. He isn’t getting used to it because he isn’t eating it!

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/08/2021 12:27

That is exactly the point though. He isn’t getting used to it because he isn’t eating it! But he WILL when he's ready,he'll just do it faster.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 07/08/2021 12:28

That is exactly the point though. He isn’t getting used to it because he isn’t eating it!

Thats where you're wrong. He'll be getting used to regular meal times, watching others eat, what food looks like, even if he's not getting used to textures and tastes, he'll still get something out of trying.

Skybluepinkgiraffe · 07/08/2021 12:29

What does he do if you touch his lips with pureed food? The old fashioned way.
I know baby led weaning is the current way, but several generations at least of mothers fed puree from a spoon, with success.

Original poster
lavenderandwisteria · 07/08/2021 12:29

He isn’t doing any of those things. Look I know people are trying to reassure me but dismissing my worries isn’t actually helping - it’s exactly what OH does to me and it’s horrible as you can’t then say what’s happening as people just shut you down.

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Original poster
lavenderandwisteria · 07/08/2021 12:30

He clamps his mouth shut and turns his face away.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 07/08/2021 12:32

I would try to film him both when offered food and when having a bottle to show the HV, that may help them identity if there is anything else going on or if there is anything that can be done to help

nameisnotimportant · 07/08/2021 12:32

The main concerns would be a lack of iron in the diet. I hate the phrase food before 1 is just for fun, it's incorrect and can be dangerous. While milk is the main part of a child's diet up to the age of one, it is important that iron sources are introduced from six months because by this age the babies iron stores start to deplete and there is not enough iron in breastmilk. 6-12month old babies need approx 11mg of iron per day. The best thing to do is have set meal times and offer a variety of food. If he doesn't like food being spooned into his mouth, try just putting the food onto his high chair and let him play with it, feel the textures etc. (Baby led weaning) No pressure, no praise or pushing him to try, just let him explore. It is best to start with breakfast and lunch because at this age, babies can be really tired and over it by the evening and so don't want to try new food.
If you can eat at the same time, that helps show them what to do. Also make sure their high chair is the right height and they have something to put their feet on to keep them stable.
If none of that works, I would speak to your health visitor or your Gp, they're may be some other things at play and a speach and language therapy referral may be needed Hope that helps

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 07/08/2021 12:32

He isn’t doing any of those things the only way he won't be getting used to regular meal times is if you're not offering regular meals. So he really is getting used to things. I know it seems we are dismissing your concerns but we are just trying to ease your worries. You seem very anxious and for no real reason. There's nothing to worry about just yet. He's only 8 months old.

TheVolturi · 07/08/2021 12:35

Dd is 4 now. Hardly ate anything up to about 12 months. She eats anything and everything now.

Undersnatch · 07/08/2021 12:37

Yes it’s true, when anxious, being told not to be anxious doesn’t help. Would a book help? This is by a Spanish paediatrician, basic message is of total reassurance that kids need far less food, even milk intake, than most people think they do. I’m sorry you are feeling so worried. It’s your precious baby and feeding them is your most basic role as a mum - I get why it is so important. But I agree with others that this feels totally in the normal range for babies his age. This is not to be blamey or judgey at all, but he will feel your anxiety around all this and that may be part of why he’s wary of food. He has the message that eating it is a big deal. I am totally guessing so please say if this is wrong. I hope the book might give you some of the reassurance you need from a medical person that what he is doing is ok and you can relax, offer and move on to the next thing when it doesn’t happen. Flowers

Persipan · 07/08/2021 12:39

Mine ate literally not a damn thing until he was around that age. Despite me offering every possible texture, finger food, whatever. What cracked it for us, although it wasn't at all what I'd anticipated, was pouches and melty puffs. He got the idea of food he could suck, and then the puffs dissolve so easily that he learned about for going from solid to not-solid in your mouth. (Not that he was initially impressed with that development, but still.) Eight months later and he's just troughed a bowl of vegetable stew and a load of rice cakes for his lunch.

FTEngineerM · 07/08/2021 12:41

@lavenderandwisteria

He clamps his mouth shut and turns his face away.
Ah, so he’s never actually tasted it either?

Could you dunk a dummy in a great tasting purée? Something that tastes great like fruit or sweet potato?

OaxacaChihuahua · 07/08/2021 12:43

I absolutely do understand why you’re worried OP. It’s not so much that he isn’t eating right now, because he is getting the nutrition he needs from milk. It’s more the worry about what happens if he doesn’t start eating in the next few months - and what happens if he spends months getting used to tastes etc when other babies his age are eating full meals. Will that be enough for him?

It’s easy to say ‘don’t worry he will get there’, but you can’t just pack away that worry and pretend it doesn’t exist.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think him not eating at 8 months is currently doing him harm. He gets the nutrition he needs from milk, so he’s fine at the moment. He is not currently creating long term consequences for his health and development by not eating.

You’re doing absolutely the right thing by speaking to your health visitor. He won’t be the first baby she’s encountered who has difficulties with weaning.

You might also want to speak to your GP to rule out any physical causes. I think these are unlikely, but it would potentially help put your mind at ease.

sallywinter · 07/08/2021 12:45

While you’re waiting for the HV the website Solid Starts has access to feeding specialists if you pay their subscription - I don’t think it’s loads.

Does he ever steal food from you if he sits on your lap at meal times?

Fredsgirl19 · 07/08/2021 12:45

I completely get where you are coming from when you say dismissing it and saying don't worry it will come in time doesn't help.

I think your next plan of action should be wait for HV to come and specifically ask for speech and language referral. Second just continue doing what you ar doing. High chair / bumbo/ sofa / knee just keep offering. Plus lots of teether toys and plastic spoons fo encourage more bringing things fo mouth.

Your instincts are more important than anything else and by requesting to see a professional for help and continuing to offer over and over again to provide opportunity that is you being a good mum and putting your concerns in to actions