My Daughter with SEN was left hungry at school

[Dolphin7]

I'm just after advice really, a child in my DDs class was confirmed as being Covid-19 positive (he's fine asymptomatic), the whole class was sent home. My phone had run out of battery (Typical!! The only time my phone doesn't have charge!!) and I was unreachable. My other half had been contacted and could not collect earlier than the normal collection time due to work commitments and travel etc. I was able to charge my phone and received the messages mid afternoon, therefore I was only able to collect my daughter 20mins earlier than her normal collection time. When I did collect her she told me she hadn't been allowed to have lunch because of the Covid-19 case in her class (not being allowed to enter the lunch hall I understand, but no one thought to feed her at all!!), so she'd been left to go hungry the whole day apart from some birthday sweets she found in her bag!! Am I being unreasonable to be upset that the school allowed my daughter with SEN (she's on the autistic spectrum) to go hungry the whole day? I understand that I should have been contactable and I always am, just very unfortunate that on the only day ever that my phone didn't charge properly I needed it the most 😫
What would you do now? Complain to the school or beyond?
Thank you in advance for any advice given 🙂

@roobicoobi

Why couldn't he have called another parent from her class since all the children had been together?

My youngest is about to leave primary school. 7 years in and I would not have a clue how to contact any of the other parents. Why would I?

This can’t be a serious question.

You can’t even imagine a single reason why a parent might have the contact details of even just one other parent? From a class full of children their child has been socializing with for years? Not one possible reason?

Come on.

There’s a lot of competitive isolationism in this thread. An astonishing number of people whose only contact in life is with the people living inside their home, and who all work at least 11 hours away from their child’s school but are making it home every night, and who have no possible means of contact at work other than their mobile.

You're saying your children go to play dates or parties at their friends' houses, you exchange numbers with the parents, store them in your phone so you know whose number it is, and then after each play date or party you go into your phone and delete the contact?

Yeah... no. That's bollocks.

I didn't say that at all?

Why have you come along to attack me?

You can’t even imagine a single reason why a parent might have the contact details of even just one other parent? From a class full of children their child has been socializing with for years? Not one possible reason?

Of course I can imagine it. OP DD however is autistic so it's entirely feasible that she doesn't socialise in the way you seem to expect. I can't see much wrong with it being an option here tbh.

Come on.

Quite.

I agree OP, a pandemic is not a reason to leave children hungry by them selves all day. It's cruel and neglectful.

It's very unfortunate your 10 year old wasn't fed OP.

But try not to build it up in your mind as something bigger than it actually was.

so she'd been left to go hungry the whole day apart from some birthday sweets she found in her bag!!

How was it the whole day?

Surely it was from lunchtime until you arrived to pick her up 20 minutes early?

I just feel if you do end up complaining, the school will take little notice unless you keep it factual.

@roobicoobi

I didn't say that at all? Why have you come along to attack me?

You said you have had multiple children go through primary school and not only do you not have contact details for any other parent in their classes, but you can't even imagine why anyone would.

It's absolute cobblers and I am baffled that you expect other parents of primary aged children not to see that.

You can’t really expect a random parent to be your emergency contact

Precisely. That’s why part of being a responsible parent is being available, not putting the onus on school staff.

What exactly did your DH advise school OP? You're being very vague about that. Doesn't he have your work landline?
I suspect, in all honestly, he didn't try to resolve the situation very hard at all. And despite citing distance, you included 'work commitments' as part of the reason he couldn't act. Mmmm.
Your anger is misplaced.

You were both contacted, and neither of you collected her. Take some bloody responsibility, fgs.

You said you have had multiple children go through primary school and not only do you not have contact details for any other parent in their classes, but you can't even imagine why anyone would.

Bad wording in my part there. I was meaning I don't know any of the parents in my youngest class, not across the board with all my DC

It's absolute cobblers and I am baffled that you expect other parents of primary aged children not to see that.

It's not 'cobblers' it's the truth. Please stop.

My dd’s junior school requested that emergency contacts live in the local area.

I think you're more annoyed with yourself for not being contactable. Take a compassionate view and accept your phone was out of battery and the school did everything they could to contact you. It's over, no need to assign blame.

In your first post you say your husband couldn’t get there due to work commitments and travel, by your second post it was only due to travel, so the work commitment seems vanished when you didn’t get the desired response.

What did the school say when your husband told them he wouldn’t be picking her up?

I think in this scenario most of my ire would be self directed at being silly enough to let my mobile phone run out of charge, particularly when there's a reasonable likelihood that the school getting a positive case would arrive and when your DH is working too far away to be able to drive back.
Is there a landline or work reception number for yourself you could provide for any future scenarios? Also do you need to replace your mobile phone if it is unreliable?

The school informed your partner that your daughter needs picking up, nothing was done and yet the school is to blame?

@roobicoobi

Bad wording in my part there. I was meaning I don't know any of the parents in my youngest class, not across the board with all my DC

You said you couldn't think of any reason why you would have any other parents' contact details.

You couldn't think why anyone would have them.

Even though apparently, now, you DID have those details for your other children.

And yet you still find it unfathomable why anyone would.

The children and teachers have all turned up to school and mixed together, they’re in a bubble and supposedly no contact between classes. Surely the teacher or TA just stays in the classroom with the children until they’re collected? Why the need for the kids to sit alone anyway? Primary schools are able to isolate their bubbles, why is it such a dire emergency to get the kids collected part way through the day anyway? Not suggesting people shouldn’t collect their kids but if parent is hours away I’m not sure why there’s a need for a child to sit alone in a classroom with no lunch age 9.

[quote LeopardHawk]@roobicoobi

I didn't say that at all? Why have you come along to attack me?

You said you have had multiple children go through primary school and not only do you not have contact details for any other parent in their classes, but you can't even imagine why anyone would.

It's absolute cobblers and I am baffled that you expect other parents of primary aged children not to see that.[/quote]

Just to further clarify, because this is pissing me off somewhat, I didn't say I can't imagine why anyone would. Not sure why you have bolded that.

It sounds like the school punished her because you and her father couldn't get there. I think that is awful, if they have an issue with you they need to address that but while she is in their care they need to feed her. I don't think her own teacher should have left until all "her" children got picked up, no need for other teachers to be involved.

I can't believe an adult would see one child sitting with nothing while other children are eating. Also it is obvious that you weren't the only parent who couldn't get straight there if other children stayed for lunch.

I don't think it is OK for any child, certainly not OK for a child with special needs.

DD is fine

Bit of a mixup, no harm done? Don't understand making a meal of this.

The children and teachers have all turned up to school and mixed together, they’re in a bubble and supposedly no contact between classes. Surely the teacher or TA just stays in the classroom with the children until they’re collected? Why the need for the kids to sit alone anyway? Primary schools are able to isolate their bubbles, why is it such a dire emergency to get the kids collected part way through the day anyway? Not suggesting people shouldn’t collect their kids but if parent is hours away I’m not sure why there’s a need for a child to sit alone in a classroom with no lunch age 9

Because infection control is about minimising exposure as much as possible, not extending exposure.

Why not just leave them all in the class with the potential to spread it as much as possible?

Covid rules are BRUTAL. If a positive case is found those close contacts are instantly isolated away from everywhere else. The teacher and TA would have no more been allowed to get her food.

When DD had it she was immediately taken to a room where she had to stay until I picked her up. It is what it is

Do you have a work land line? and exactly what did your partner do when they contacted him because it seems odd he just went no I cant get there. Does he only have your mobile number?

[quote LeopardHawk]@roobicoobi

Bad wording in my part there. I was meaning I don't know any of the parents in my youngest class, not across the board with all my DC

You said you couldn't think of any reason why you would have any other parents' contact details.

You couldn't think why anyone would have them.

Even though apparently, now, you DID have those details for your other children.

And yet you still find it unfathomable why anyone would.

[/quote]
I've had four children go through school, I've never had other parents phone numbers. I was working, barely knew other parents by sight let alone their phone numbers.

Even if she had another parents number what do you think she should do, expect someone else to take her possibly infected child into their home?

@ancientgran I can pretty much guarantee that the school did not punish this child. It would have been an oversight. Good to let school know, so that they can check their procedures to ensure it wouldn’t happen again.

I don't think most people would be happy to collect someone else's child when it would mean they then had to isolate for 10 days ok they may not as a contact of a contact but it's a risk as if your DD tested positive they would have to