About to become a parent to 4 & 5 year old, hints/tips on what to buy?

[Bananahana]

Hi all,

Am about to become a mum to little kiddos via adoption. We’re just getting the house ready and looking for advice on what we need to buy, beyond the obvious of clothes, toys, kids cutlery etc.

Things like - I suspect I’ll need a big day bag rather than my smaller handbag... maybe a water bottle for each child.

What are you hints and tips on what we get?

Congratulations! How exciting.

I think you should get the basics you list and then wait to get to know each child and what they need and like.

In advance I would stock up a bookshelf with books aimed at baby age up to about 6, because you don't know what their literacy levels will be but most kids will choose and look at a book alone or with you.

Also plenty of pads of paper, pencils and felt tips and sticker and colouring stuff.

Also make sure you can stream CBeebies, CBBC and maybe invest in Disney+ for downtime and cosy bonding times with them watching kids movies.

Also plenty of sets of bedding for each and maybe pull up pants for nights to minimise their embarrassment if either wets the bed.

Kids shampoo that doesn't sting their eyes and bubble bath.

Drinks bottles
Backpacks
Snack pots/lunch boxes
Reward charts / family planning board to help with routine
Maybe a scrapbook of your family of significant people and events, including a photo that says "X and X join the family"
Nightlights just Incase they aren't keen on dark
Colouring books and crayons
Calpol, kids plasters, sudocrem etc
Kids shower gels
Perhaps a special stuffed toy each with your voices recorded inside
Books on adopted families, there are loads of great story books aimed at adopted children

I’ve got an almost 4 year old so I would say:

Yes water bottle each
Child sized cutlery maybe
Books!
A nightlight
Step or step stool for reaching the sink, kitchen countertops etc - helps them feel involved and independent

It depends on your house whether it’s possible but one of the best things I did, again for independence and speed getting in and out the house was to put a row of coat hooks at child height under our main ones. Dd responsible for hanging own coat up.

Orchard toys do great kids games.
Puzzles
Sticker books always a hit!

Congratulations and all the best of luck!

Maybe some pull ups for night just Incase as pp suggested!

Congratulations this is such a heart warming post - please let us know how they are doing! X

Ooh congratulations!

My just turned 4yo is very particular about likes and dislikes, so if you already know about things like that (favourite colours, are they into dinosaurs / unicorns / Superman / Frozen / whatever) you could get them some clothes, plates/bowls, toys etc that they'll like... you could also take them shopping and let them choose something (after 12th April maybe!) which I know my 4yo would enjoy.

My DS has his own little day bag that we put water bottle, snacks and spare clothes in (he doesn't really have accidents any more but we still have spare pants just in case, and occasionally his trousers get wet/muddy).. so they might like a small bag each or you could get one big one for ease.

Favourite toys in our house are duplo and Lego (DS has only just turned 4 so still enjoys duplo, your two might prefer Lego), often you can get a whole load of it second hand and in good nick.... Maybe you could consider signing up to a toy subscription service to try different things and see what they like.

Also get some paper, colouring books and crayons/pens, we like paint sticks too (less messy than actual paint!)

Puzzles and board games...

But again depends what they're into really.

Steps is a good shout- including in bathroom for loo and sink.

Oh huge congratulations!!
Something ride on like a tricycle or balance bike, some fancy dress, nice wash flannel and toothbrush each, a cuddly toy and a book? Not necessarily straight away but in time. A quiet calm space for each child eg a reading book, tee pee tent, cushion corner,

For you, a backpack so hands free, mini pack of wet wipes and tissues on you all the time. I have a bag of ‘tricks’ in the car so a book, mini colouring pencils, paper, socks, biscuit, plasters, calpol sachets, mini sun cream, that helps if you’re out for the day or sat waiting for food in a cafe. Also have a little stash of bits like tissues, forehead cool packs, flannel etc by the bed incase they need you in the night. And a night light between your rooms and theirs.
Wishing you all lots of happiness.

A pile of hot wheels and a pile of Lego

Ah lovely op. Mine are slightly older.
Art stuff
Duplo
I pressume you have car seats and all the practical stuff

Sand pit for the garden. We have the little tykes one.

If you get scooters or bikes... I recommend one each, not to share!

Looking towards the spring/summer - a good picnic blanket and a rucksack will be invaluable for days out.

A step for the bathroom
A toilet seat to make the toilet smaller
Cutlery and plates
Water bottles
Calpol, piriton, plasters
A good Hoover for all the crumbs!!
Books
Colouring bits and craft bits
Child friendly cups
Back pack each

YY to nightlight, selection of books, children's toiletries, child-size cutlery, and step stools - we have a wooden 2-step one from IKEA which is great in the kitchen, and a smaller fold-away one in the bathroom.

SS as part of their risk assessment of your home should have suggested most of the practical bits you will need. What has the foster carer said regarding their daily routine etc, that will guide you as well, so the same shampoo, laundry detergent etc.

Get them both a small rucksack, they can carry their own things when you go out.

Congratulations! Maybe check with the carer what will be coming with them, some carers I know send absolutely everything and others don't, so you may find you don't need to get too much!

Congratulations! Regarding the bag, it depends what you're doing. I take a rucksack if we're going on a long walk or a picnic but if it's just a normal outing to town or shops I have a slightly larger handbag than I used pre-children. They're old enough to wear a little rucksack with water bottle, snack, packet of top trumps (for example), small toy, notepad and crayons etc so you don't have to carry everything. If you have to wait around anywhere they will then have stuff to do, I always have a pack of playing cards in my bag for when we're in cafés/restaurants/on public transport and we have a couple of games we play.

They're old enough for normal cutlery so I wouldn't bother with toddler sized.

Keep spare clothes in the car. Nothing fancy, just a top and trousers. The first time one of them throws up or falls headlong in mud it will make the difference between a minor delay and a ruined day.

Do you enjoy gardening? Maybe a few pots and tools for them, to plant up.

Bath toys! DS (just turned 4) still enjoys playing in the bath, little duplo divers and boats and stuff.

A toothbrush each and child toothpaste.

Vitamins.

As others have said, apart from the basics I would wait and see what they are interested in, as they are likely to be 'into' all kinds of random stuff that you won't have thought of buying. Eg DS2 went through a big phase of collecting toilet roll tubes at that age, he was obsessed with them. Meanwhile DS1 at age 4 was obsessed with bins it is a fantastic but really random age.

Good luck!!

Congratulations. Books. Lots of books. A train set. Pretend play stuff eg tea set.

Congratulations! I’m an adoptive mum too.

I understand your excitement to start buying, but I’d wait and see what comes with them. Mine arrived with full wardrobes, bedding, cups, bottles, heaps of toys, bikes, ride ons... So. Much. Stuff.

Most of which got replaced eventually but it was nice they were able to keep familiar things.

I’d buy some cuddly toys, paints, paper, pens etc but not much more. Anything else you need you can get from Amazon or a supermarket easily enough.

Congratulations 🎉

Thanks all this is so so valuable!

The to-do list is a bit overwhelming and I know there’s so much I don’t know, but this has been fantastic thank you xx

Congrats OP! Maybe invest in a paddling pool for the summer, they will be a great age for that. How exciting for you all!

Also, in my bag I have a pocket with Calpol, plasters, tissues and wipes and paracetamol for me! Soft play centres can be headache inducing.... Spare clothes in the car on a day out.
Slide for the garden. Doubles up as a waterslide by putting the end of it in the paddling pool in the summer. Sand pit with a lid.