About to become a parent to 4 & 5 year old, hints/tips on what to buy?

[Bananahana]

Hi all,

Am about to become a mum to little kiddos via adoption. We’re just getting the house ready and looking for advice on what we need to buy, beyond the obvious of clothes, toys, kids cutlery etc.

Things like - I suspect I’ll need a big day bag rather than my smaller handbag... maybe a water bottle for each child.

What are you hints and tips on what we get?

Oooohh Congratulations how exciting!
I’d add blankets for the sofas, my kids (now teens) still love a blanket they can snuggle under for film nights!

Definitely master the iPad settings in advance. On kids YouTube you can select the videos they can choose from. There is a kids version of iplayer but ds prefers to use the adult version. CBeebies playtime island is a good app. Get more than one water bottle each if they are taking them to school. You can get name stickers on amazon that have a really professional finish so it looks like you’ve bought a personalised water bottle not a £2 from Asda. They also break so a spare is useful.
A good range of healthy snacks is needs to be available at all times. Asda do paw patrol branded pea cardboard Sorry crisps for £1 for 6 bags. Sticker books or activity books for those quiet times.
Childsfarm bubble bath is great.
A set of spare clothes for each child in the car including footwear.

For toys maybe get a few but wait until you get to known what their passion is. A sand pit is good, something for water play outside. We use an old baby bath but you could use a couple of large washing up bowls. Ds has had hours of fun doing things like washing his dinosaurs in bubbly water then in clean water. Random things like planks of wood and logs to build your own car ramps. Get more use than the few actual outside toys we have.

Congratulations, my elder two are the same age.

I'd get a few bottles each, the ones with the fold away straw are good.
Nightlight
All in one waterproof suit, wellies
Toothbrush and paste
Tangle teezer brush
Colouring and sticker books
Disney+
Some books for bedtime reading - mine love the little miss/mr men
Garden toys (if you have one) such as a kitchen - often get these second hand off fb/gumtree in good condition
Yes to coat hooks
Children's towels with the hood on are good
Mattress protector

Find out their favourite foods, so you can cook meals that appeal and offer snacks as a distraction if needed.

Consider swapping your laundry detergent to theirs, so things smell familiar. If you notice a scent/air freshener/cleaning fluid smell at the carer's home when you meet them, ask what it is so you can get the same.

Conversely, don't rush to wash things they bring with them. They'll appreciate the familiarity of it all.

Mine slept in their bike helmets for the first week. 🤷🏼‍♀️ expect anything.

I think everything has been covered but wanted to say congratulations!

Congratulations OP. Wishing you and your family a wonderful start together.

Although they are a little older perhaps a baby monitor would be a good idea. Not just so that you can hear them, but so they know they can call out to you anytime and you will hear.

Love this post. Everyone has mentioned so much.

Maybe the baking boxes. Simple and things to do together particularly if raining or cold. A few cheap bath bombs and gone bargains has cheap small toys

Best of luck. Have fun x

One thing I’d say is don’t put them in their own bedrooms -they’ll most likely want to sleep in the same bed for a while.
Maybe get some photos of your extended family, as they will become their extended family.
Wishing you both all the best x

Bubbles to blow
Stickers
Crayons and colouring pencils

Water bottles, kid cutlery, bathroom step, kid toilet seat, waterproof mattress covers

Otherwise wait and see what the foster family are sending with them. They will also be able to tell you what washing powder scent the children are used to, what favourite foods and snacks are, etc.

Also, don't forget you! Stock up on easy food, a few cheer-up treats you can have on the hard days. Head on over to the Adoption board on here if you want some support. Congratulations!

A lovely new bear or something cuddly on their bed to welcome them
The jellycat Range is lovely and there's lots of different things to choose from

Congratulations and what lovely people you are adopting - that takes someone very special to do that

Congrats!

You need to have a chat to the FC to see what is coming with them. We got bags and bags of toys, but barely any clothes, only one pair of too small trainers and no coat!

It’s also quite common for adopted DC to have a lower developmental age than chronological age so you might need toys and books that are more babyish.

DC will probably want familiar things around them to begin with so you might need to transition to your preferences slowly.

If I was doing it again I would buy minimal stuff beforehand as most of what we got was wrong, we pretty much replaced all our original purchases over the first 6 months.

Def prioritise a box of kid first aid stuff. Almost everything adults would have need the kid version- even bandaids and medicine measurers. Walk through the pharmacy shelves for ideas. Vermox for sure! And a pared back version of the main meds for your handbag.

Have a look at your kitchen/laundry areas. Swap the stuff up higher that you don’t want them getting into, and put lower stuff they need to reach (water glasses, wipes, etc). Extra points if they can reach their own clothes to get dressed.

I’d start a dress-up box, and a craft box. My kid is 10, and we still reach into these nearly weekly for school projects and dress up days.

Depending on your space, consider offering them a hidey-hole that they can decorate for themselves. Even extrovert kids sometimes need somewhere to tuck themselves away for quiet. I have had many versions- currently an ikea ‘papasan style’ chair, with a cotton tent thingo that hangs over it from the ceiling. Cushions inside, and fairy lights. They may prefer one together?

Sounds like you might need one for yourself somewhere too?! Good luck with everything!

Yes Lego!!

My dc liked places to retreat to at that age so a small pop up tent or teepee in their room might be a welcome extra place for them to feel comfy.
One of mine loved teddies and still does- couldn't walk past one.
Snacks - never leave the house without snacks even if they have just eaten and you think they can't possibly be hungry. Always have snacks!
Time and attention.
As pp have said orchard toys games are good.
Good luck and enjoy every minute!

How lovely! Congratulations!

Tupperware. Buy ALL the Tupperware.
Sticker books. Colouring books and pens.

Aw lovely. I have DGD3&4. Nothing more to add but a treat for them is Milshake on channel 5 on Saturday morning before the park. Enjoy!

Wow lovely post. Congratulations! I can't offer much advice but i am assuming you are first time parents (appologies if that's not the case) but be prepared to be exhausted and confused!!! Hats off to you, being thrown in the exciting, exhausting, unpredictable, whirlwind that are 4 and 5 year olds!! Much love and hugs xx

I would agree with waterproof mattress covers.
Also don't overdo buying things it could be a bit overwhelming for them.
Choose things with them but bit by bit.

Maybe do a little thinking about how childproof your house is, in terms of are there valuable or delicate things that you value within possible reach, knocking over potential of your dc.
Anything of sentimental value that couldn't be replaced if there was a sibling fight or meltdown.

Is your tv secure, tall chests secured to walls etc.

I know they are 4 and 5 but some regression is always a possibility.

I hope it goes really well for you all.

Waterproof mattress protectors by 4, or even more depending on if they are needed. They might not like being offered a pull up (DS felt strongly they were for babies and he was a big boy), but if they have an accident they might be worried about telling you. Sheet, mattress protector, sheet, mattress protector and then the top two can be peeled off quickly and easily in the night if necessary so it becomes a total non incident iyswim.

I'd love to suggest cuddly toys but unless you got identical ones I'm not sure, in case your DSs both prefer the same one! A friend with DDs close in age used to buy 2 the same of everything when they were small.

Congratulations on your DC coming home.

Congratulations. I'd get a supply of crafting things, b&m have a good cheap range. And some nice books, Julia Donaldson is good for those ages. Maybe some garden toys, a mud kitchen is a great hit here and their own little gardening tools.

Congratulations. I agree with the pp saying they might want to sleep together at first. What's about walkie talkies so they can speak to each other if they do play in separate rooms? I can highly recommend Wilkos own brand of children's toothpaste, minty as recommended by dentists, but not "spicy" as my youngest says. A special fleece blanket each for their bed? Will they have contact with their birth family? Photo frame with a picture of them if so for the bedroom?

I would not do anything with rewards charts at all. At this age being put up for adoption you don’t want them feeling like they aren’t good enough or not doing anything right.

Don’t go overboard, see what they like first. When you know what they like they can choose their own. This will give them a sense of independence and belonging.

Drink bottles are good, go with something easy they can use as you don’t know what they are use too. I actually like the sports running bottles so do my DCs, my 3 yo prefers them as she can hold them in one hand and opens it easy with her mouth.
Crafts, paints, play dough
Crayons, paper
A set of bedding each so they have their own just in case they don’t have their own.
Definitely a good idea to keep spare underwear and clothes in the car with a couple of empty bags to bag up accidents.
A nightlight in case they need it.

Everything else I would definitely wait and see. Not the same thing but we have just moved countries, our DDs have been able to choose new things for their rooms to make it their own. It’s helped them settle and accept the change more.

Finally, congratulations, you are doing a wonderful thing x

Are they moving school and do you have everything they need for school? Our school has quite specific requirements at that age including waterproof coat, trousers and wellies and a school specific book bag.

How exciting.

An easel with lots of A3 paper for painting.

Plastic teasets for washing up.

Bath toys.

Not sure if it's already been mentioned but a non slip mat for the bath. Toothbrushes/toothpaste.