Breast is best - no it’s not actually.

[bubblesforlife]

I’m a new mom, my baby was born last weekend.
I followed feeding guidelines, listened to professional advice, and decided to breast feed my baby.

A few days in, my baby has developed jaundice and low sodium. This is due to dehydration and no fluids.

I gave my Baby colostrum, by breast and syringe regularly.

I asked my visiting midwife if I should supplement feeding with formula until my milk came in, she said no I am doing the best by my baby. Not unless there is a clinical need.

Now we’re readmitted for 2 nights minimum and placed on as strict baby formula feeding plan.

2 other ladies in the ward also have dehydrated babies for the same reason as me. How does this happen all the time yet no one talks about it?

Breast is best? No. Starve your baby until your milk comes in, and then hope for the best that you’re on for the lucky ones it works for.

My milk came in on day 3, a normal timeline.!

The messaging is wrong to mothers. This is so very common according to hospital.

Breast is best..... eventually.... but feed your baby what it needs, if that’s a supplement of formula, so what.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I’m just so upset. No one told me I was starving my little newborn. I did my best, I tried so hard and sat there filling syringes of colostrum.

Something has to change here. The pressure placed on new mothers throughout pregnancy to breast feed is wrong.

I hope my baby recovers soon so we can go home and be a family.

Just because it didn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for most people.

I was overwhelmingly pressured to formula feed by midwives at the hospital, to the point of getting into an argument about it.

I hear you. Fed is best. Breastfeeding didn’t work out for me for time round and I beat myself up about it for months. Tried again with my second having a much more realistic idea of how hard it would be. Worked lots better and third time round better again. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Don’t give yourself a hard time like I did.

When I had my first I stayed in hospital for 6 days - got feeding well established. Milk came in on day 3.

Sorry to read what's happened to you and thank you for sharing your experience so that others can learn from it. I certainly will be aware of this if I am told the same when my baby is born.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby. I hope you get home soon.

You're not starving your baby until your milk comes in, the collestrum is normally all they need. Every woman is different though.

If you want to feed formula then do it, but as pp said just because its not working for you doesn't mean it is the same for everyone. My milk came in on day 3, and my dd was fine on collestrum until then

I'm not sure how common your situation is honestly.

In the nicest way op, my baby was also born last weekend, is breastfed and is already 4oz above her birth weight.
I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but just for you to see that for some it does work. I'm sorry it hasn't for you, and I hope you and your baby are home soon, but it's not the fault of those who have other feeding experiences than you that your baby has become unwell.

You seem very upset towards those who feel breast is best, rather than accepting that your journey has been cut short due to your baby becoming unwell

Sorry you and your baby have had a tough time, and I hope you get home soon . However, in the majority of cases when all is going well with breastfeeding colostrum is all a baby needs and the baby does not starve until milk comes in.

Sounds familiar - DS small when born, milk didn’t come in until day 6, he was dehydrated, jaundice and had lost lots of weight. I was a mess after a traumatic birth anyway and cried every time I tried to feed him. He cried and cried... he was hungry. Day 6, gave formula, strict feeding plan etc. With DD we topped up with formula until milk came in... she was also small birth weight, and jaundice but we took the pressure off straight away and happily combi fed after that.

Congratulations on birth of your baby . I hope you manage to get home soon.

Must be a really stressful time for you, especially during a lockdown.

Do whatever you feel is best for you and baby

The issue here is not breast vs formula but that a first time Mum was sent home before feeding was established. That is the real issue. Possibly understandable in a pandemic of course.

@JaninaDuszejko

The issue here is not breast vs formula but that a first time Mum was sent home before feeding was established. That is the real issue. Possibly understandable in a pandemic of course.

I don't really think it's understandable or compassionate on the part of the hospital at all.

I agree with the above poster that Fed is Best. Pressure shouldn’t be put on anybody to breast feed and nobody should feel bad if they choose not to/or are unable to.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, that sounds very stressful but has anyone actually done a full and skilled breastfeeding assessment? Formula is definately a life saving invention for some but often it is skilled and timely support that is missing in this country.

You say your milk came in on day 3 so it sounds like it may be a milk transfer issue rather than a supply issue.
Did anyone show you how you know they are feeding and swallowing well? Is the latch comfortable and has baby been checked for a tongue tie/ high palate/ disordered suck etc?
Has anyone gone over how often baby should be feeding/ how you know they are getting enough milk/ techniques to get more milk into baby like switch feeding or breast compressions?

Hope your little one recovers soon.

This thread will go very badly and probably end up being deleted.

I hope your baby is ok and you are home soon.

I completely agree, it should be talked about more so new parents can see the danger signs in their babies. I'm still haunted by the fact that my newborn became dehydrated 4 days after birth, I just wish someone had recognised that my attempts to breastfeed weren't working and my baby needed fluids.
She's now a very healthy, happy child thankfully but I hate thinking back to those first days. I hope your baby recovers quickly and is home with you soon.

What’s stopping you continuing to breast feed while topping up with formula for now?

Breast milk is best for babies. It’s what they were designed to consume. You’ve had a hiccup, that’s a shame but it doesn’t mean you have to stop breastfeeding, it’s no one’s fault, your baby’s dehydration was caught and is being treated. Breastfeeding levels in this country are incredibly low witch has costs to babies, mums, the health service and the entire population as a result. There’s nothing wrong with pregnant women being encouraged to breastfeed if that’s what they want. And most women do want to. Support and information could be much improved, there are huge regional differences which also need looking at. And chanting breast is best without adequate support is very unhelpful. But we need better resourcing for new mums and their babies, not lying and pretending breast milk isn’t the best food for infants.

I’m sorry for your struggles and worries and hope your baby is well again soon and that you continue to breastfeed if you want to.

I think the human race would have died out of breast milk or colostrum wasn’t enough to keep a baby alive. It’s stomach is the size of a thimble- literally.

Congratulations, that’s a really exciting time.

I thought milk coming in on day 3 was normal? Certainly when mine came in, I realise hats a sample size of 1 but I was also told this is normal.

With all due respect though.. I’m not surprised you’ve found other women with dehydrated babies when you have a dehydrated baby and they’ve put you is the place they put mothers with dehydrated babies.

which

Congratulations.

I totally agree with OP Fed is best. There seems to be two camps - a formula feeding one and a breastfeeding one, and they are so focused on their own goals and beliefs that there seems to be little middle ground, despite it being very important.

The comment about 'not sure how common your situation is' is unhelpful. You've mentioned there are other mums in the same situation on the same date in just one hospital. So there are already mums that never should have had bad advice and poorly babies. It's so stressful for the poor mums and enough to make then hate breastfeeding or trigger post natal depression

In hospital the midwifes were telling me to harvest colostrum, as soon as I got out I combined fed until my dd would no longer take a bottle. It did no harm. I did that due to experience with my first.

I think it's very helpful that you are highlighting the situation. Well done.

Mothers should feel able to choose to feed in whatever they wish without pressure either way. Undeniably, breast milk has many advantages but breast feeding isn't for everyone. I am currently pregnant with my rainbow baby and, if all goes well, I will be formula feeding. I have a number of reasons for this and I believe this is the right decision for my situation. Each mother needs to assess her own situation and make the decision which is right for them, without fear of judgement.

I still think breast is best. Day 3 milk coming in is normal. Whether someone should have checked you'd established feeding properly is another matter.
I think dehydration is in the minority though

Yeah, milk on day 3 is normal. The night of day 2 for me was awful, ds was not happy, but thankfully on day 3 milk came and he was sorted. Breast milk is better than formula. That's fact. But yes, feed your baby however you need to.