Breast is best - no it’s not actually.

[bubblesforlife]

I’m a new mom, my baby was born last weekend.
I followed feeding guidelines, listened to professional advice, and decided to breast feed my baby.

A few days in, my baby has developed jaundice and low sodium. This is due to dehydration and no fluids.

I gave my Baby colostrum, by breast and syringe regularly.

I asked my visiting midwife if I should supplement feeding with formula until my milk came in, she said no I am doing the best by my baby. Not unless there is a clinical need.

Now we’re readmitted for 2 nights minimum and placed on as strict baby formula feeding plan.

2 other ladies in the ward also have dehydrated babies for the same reason as me. How does this happen all the time yet no one talks about it?

Breast is best? No. Starve your baby until your milk comes in, and then hope for the best that you’re on for the lucky ones it works for.

My milk came in on day 3, a normal timeline.!

The messaging is wrong to mothers. This is so very common according to hospital.

Breast is best..... eventually.... but feed your baby what it needs, if that’s a supplement of formula, so what.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I’m just so upset. No one told me I was starving my little newborn. I did my best, I tried so hard and sat there filling syringes of colostrum.

Something has to change here. The pressure placed on new mothers throughout pregnancy to breast feed is wrong.

I hope my baby recovers soon so we can go home and be a family.

DS1 went under the lights, but that was because he was jaundiced, not because he was breastfed. What's the link? He continued to have breast milk jaundice (slight yellow hue) for months but I was told this was normal?

Congratulations on the birth of your baby and I am so sorry this happened to you.
I have been in a similar position and found it so hard as really wanted to breast feed but despite multiple assessments, osteopath, pumping, two tongue tie snips my baby just wasn’t gaining weight. My supply just never really happened.

Great for those who found it easy but for some it is literally blood, night sweats and so
many tears.

Breast really isn’t the best option for absolutely everyone. If it works great but for some it doesn’t work and the sadness is terrible. I think some of the previous posters could possibly reflect on this on the basis of some of their comments...

The exact same thing happened to me OP. It was an incredibly tough first week and I felt like such a failure. I was told not to give formula those first few days to avoid "nipple confusion" so carried on syringing colostrum. Ended up with a dehydrated & jaundice baby and readmitted. I felt terrible. It was so upsetting.
We were able to establish breastfeeding just fine after some intensive bottle feeding with formula to get rid of jaundice. So don't think your BF journey has ended-you can get it back on track. Start pumping if you haven't already.
There are so many mixed messages about what to do if you can't latch and your milk hasn't come in.

@Countdowntonothing

But it isn’t best for the majority is it, You mean the 24% that exclusively breast feed at 6 weeks?

So less than a quarter of mothers in the UK.

Same happened to me. My milk never really came in enough, by day 3 the kid was starving so I kicked off and demanded we switch to formula (we were in for a week due to my low blood pressure but lo & behold by day 4 DS was jaundice so had to stay anyway).

I wasn't treated very nicely for deciding to do it at all. Even the doctors were umming and aaahhing, even though my son was pretty small and losing weight daily, and dehydrated,, they were like 'Well, yes, I suppose he should have formula really, but have you tried him on the breast at all?' YES!! FOR FUCKING DAYS!!!!!

Honestly, it was ridiculous. What with that & feckin' Bounty bitches I did my fair share of grumbling that week.

I’m not getting into a debate as done both and both kids turned out very well so will just wish you well on your baby and congratulate you on feeling very confident you’ve done the right thing for your particular circumstances. That’s all you need to say. Congratulations!

Mine both had jaundice even though they fed brilliantly on the breast. Is that really a connection?

I asked for help from midwives getting established with breastfeeding before going home.

Breast is not best.

Fed is best.

Babies do just as well in formula in fact better.

This just isn’t true. Formula is a perfectly fine diet for babies - it provides them with necessary nutrients and calories, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and it’s a valid choice. But it’s not better for them than breast milk, which is designed perfectly to be what they need and which responds in real time to the needs of your baby when they are growing / ill etc.

I’m so sorry OP, I know exactly what it’s like to be in your position as the same thing happened with both my children. After the first I was completely blindsided having had no idea I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed - she lost so much weight we were readmitted and had to mix feed then very soon after exclusively FF.

I had a breast ultrasound at my own request when she was nine months old which showed almost no glandular tissue in either breast, but professionals still didn’t think it would be an issue for future BFing.

My son was born Oct 2020 and within five days had lost a lot of weight and was barely weeing or pooing. I had better support but they still didn’t recommend formula top up which I think was very bad advice. I cracked that night and gave him formula, and a few hours later (six days old) he passed a massive Meconium poo that had been in his gut since birth. Not normal and he just wasn’t getting anything from me.

All I wanted was for someone to just acknowledge there was something wrong with me, and it wasn’t a case of just not trying hard enough. Feed your baby however you can, that’s all that matters. Sending love.

Also re ‘fed is best’ - fed is the bare minimum. You don’t actually have the option not to feed. Formula is absolutely fine, but let’s not pretend that not feeding babies is a choice that is on the table!

Breast is best. It doesn’t work for everyone and you’re within your rights to chose but just because feeding was established poorly for you doesn’t mean formula is better.

Breast milk is nutritionally superior to formula. It also protects against early infection. Medical fact.

OP you're obviously on the ball because your baby's needs are being met... even in hospital.

Ignore the breast is best zealots. You are the expert in your baby. Do whatever is needed to get baby and you through very difficult first days... and never beat yourself up when you're doing your best.

I have 2 big strapping men for sons. One was bottle fed and one breast. No one could guess which.

I had two emergency C sections. I didn’t know that the milk doesn’t come through for days. No one told me that.

I found breast feeding incredibly hard. I was in agony for weeks and weeks. Nipples bleeding etc etc. Yet I persisted as I thought that’s what I had to do, I cried everytime I fed my baby oh the pain would make my toes curl. When my first was about 6 weeks older I could barely stand up as I was in so much pain. The breastfeeding consultant was on holiday. My cousin came to stay and saw the mess I was in and took me to get some formula. It took a woman who didn’t have children to see how much pain I was in to help me. You have done so well OP. At times the care that new mothers get is appalling and during Covid it must be nearly zero. Stay strong And just do what you think is best. Happy mummy is a happy baby.

OP is planning to breast feed so not sure why anyone is getting (typically) snippy about competitive mothering, virtue signalling or formula being a superior foodstuff. It’s not. It’s an adequate substitute where a mother or baby can’t breastfeed or a mother chooses not to. Fed is what’s needed to keep a baby alive. Saying it’s “best” is as meaningless and unhelpful as “breast is best” not being backed up by the support that a mum or baby needs.

Hope that you are doing OK OP. I agree with you that nobody really discusses the issues or problems around BF before baby arrives.

I can highly recommend asking to speak to the infant feeding team whilst you are in hospital. They will do things like check latch, check for TT and are brilliant at improving confidence.

My milk supply was delayed by 10 days (I could pump quite a lot of colustrum in comparison to others but still wasn't milk).
I had many feeding issues with my baby mostly focused around his TT and poor milk transfer. We did formula top ups for 2 weeks on a feeding plan which worked he was then BF for 21 months.

It's very tough in the beginning but if you can then I encourage you to offer breast as much as possible especially in covid times as the antibodies in your milk are fantastic protection for your baby. Also recommend joining a local BF support group they are a wealth of information and also usually have BF counsellors who can help out with zoom feed checks etc.

The thing is, women are so keen to leave the hospital now due to visiting restrictions, there is little community midwife support and no community support like baby cafes ect.

I am a midwife and have seen this more and more in lockdown. This is why it seems to be more common recently.

I advocate for the woman no matter how they choose to feed their baby, I don't push one or the other but if a woman wants to breastfeed I will discourage formula as many babies will find it hard to mix both as they need a larger quantity of formula in the early days (3ml of colostrum vs 20+mls of formula) so they have their stomach stretched and then struggle to be full from colostrum.

Sorry you are having a rough time though. It is horrible being readmitted. I am really pushing women to be very comfortable feeding prior to discharge for this reason.

Fed is best.

My milk never came in, like my mum and grandmother. It was hard getting the midwifes to listen to me. I was constantly told, just wait, it will happen. It didn't.

Whilst I would've loved to have been able to breastfeed, I couldn't. I had no help, and no option but to formula feed.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time, it must be so stressful. However I can't really agree with you, breast is best in the vast majority of cases. Saying it's not because it went wrong for you would be as illogical as saying exercise is bad for you because I broke my leg.

Breastfed babies aren't starved until the milk comes in, they feed on colostrum, in your case baby didn't get enough of it for whatever reason, but the problem wasn't that you tried to breastfeed, it was the sting of overworked and under funded health care professionals, who failed to notice breastfeeding wasn't working, or step in sooner to help you improve things (be that latch, schedule or supplementing).

I would imagine that all of the mothers saying breast is best, refrain from providing cows milk to their children too? Given that there are study’s that demonstrate negative impacts to health as well as benefits to consuming cows milk (sounds similar to formula)?

Although I would add that I do absolutely agree breast milk is nutritionally superior, it’s the shaming that bothers me.

I'm a bit confused by the syringes of colostrum. I just put my babies to my breast, as much as they wanted. It's kept the human population going for centuries, long before syringes etc. It didn't work for you but it works for the majority of the human race globally.

I had problems breast feeding both my children . One premature and one with undiagnosed tongue tie . But with both I topped up with formula .

I don’t understand all this one or the other or making early decisions .

When my baby was in hospital I used a Maine to keep my milk going. But produced very little , but the fact I could do at least one breast feed a day meant a lot to me .

My niece recently seemed to be pushed against breast feeding . There does not seem to be any consistency.