Breast is best - no it’s not actually.

[bubblesforlife]

I’m a new mom, my baby was born last weekend.
I followed feeding guidelines, listened to professional advice, and decided to breast feed my baby.

A few days in, my baby has developed jaundice and low sodium. This is due to dehydration and no fluids.

I gave my Baby colostrum, by breast and syringe regularly.

I asked my visiting midwife if I should supplement feeding with formula until my milk came in, she said no I am doing the best by my baby. Not unless there is a clinical need.

Now we’re readmitted for 2 nights minimum and placed on as strict baby formula feeding plan.

2 other ladies in the ward also have dehydrated babies for the same reason as me. How does this happen all the time yet no one talks about it?

Breast is best? No. Starve your baby until your milk comes in, and then hope for the best that you’re on for the lucky ones it works for.

My milk came in on day 3, a normal timeline.!

The messaging is wrong to mothers. This is so very common according to hospital.

Breast is best..... eventually.... but feed your baby what it needs, if that’s a supplement of formula, so what.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I’m just so upset. No one told me I was starving my little newborn. I did my best, I tried so hard and sat there filling syringes of colostrum.

Something has to change here. The pressure placed on new mothers throughout pregnancy to breast feed is wrong.

I hope my baby recovers soon so we can go home and be a family.

Fed is best.
I had to supplement with formula because of an underweight baby.
I know mums who have exclusively formula fed.
You can’t pick out which adult was breastfed or formula fed!

I agree with you OP to an extent. With my first baby she cried and cried for food first 2 days and fed literally continually. I was exhausted (very long labour). A kind midwife too pity and took her to give her a bottle at night. She then slept, I slept about 6 hours and all was so much better. Did the same thing the next night and after that milk came in and I breast fed until she was 15 months so that was the only formula she had.
I do think breast is best, but some common sense and flexibility is needed.

2nd baby, went in prepared and fed formula for 2 nights only. Then breast fed until 14 months. So much easier.

Breast feeding is how babies are meant to be fed.
Fortunately, formula exists for when this is not available for the baby.

Your situation is very rare and absolutely doesn't change the fact that breast is best for the huge majority of people

That happened to me, OP. Baby and I were admitted on day 5 after he’d lost 17% of his birth weight. My milk didn’t come in properly until day 6. I wish I’d known that it was ok to use a little bit of formula to bridge the gap.

I was so upset. I felt like I’d starved him. Well, I suppose I had. Certainly explained the screaming. I was concerned he looked dehydrated. Everyone fobbed me off until he was put on the scales. His bloods were worrying by the time we got to hospital. (He’s now a tall healthy 5 year old with no obvious ill-effects!) On a more positive note, we were in for two nights and despite a total lack of breastfeeding support, he managed to gain back about half the weight he’d lost in two days.

I’m really sorry this has happened to you. I really feel women should be given less biased information about breastfeeding - because it certainly doesn’t work straight away, first time, for everyone.

On a more positive note, we mix fed but then moved to exclusive breastfeeding and I went on to feed until he was nearly 3. And it was much easier with my second - he barely lost anything and gained weight wonderfully on exclusive breastfeeding. Fingers crossed things turn around for you too.

Do you still want to breastfeed? If not, ignore the rest of this post.

If you do, are they offering you any breastfeeding support? (They didn’t me.) If not, ask. Ask again and be That Mum who won’t take no for an answer. Make sure you see a breastfeeding counsellor while you’re in there. Have they checked how baby is latching? (If not, keep putting baby to the breast and keep asking for midwives to check the latch.) Have they checked whether baby has tongue tie? (Mine had an undiagnosed tongue tie which I’m sure was related to all our feeding issues.) Ask for a breast pump to stimulate production. Try to drink as much as possible - it will help.

Good luck, and come back here if you need help and advice, or just a bit of solidarity.

If breast feeding is that important for long term health, there would be a question on insurance health forms for adults!

I’m not saying breastfeeding should not be done. I’m saying that being more aware of the risks and encouraging supplement formula in situations such as jaundice arises.

I intend to feed my baby, but now i know that it’s ok to supplement if baby needs it. Right now, I urgently need to give baby formula and I’m in hospital to oversee this and for continued monitoring.

I am the unlucky one here because it doesn’t happen to everyone. But i have learned that it happens more often than I ever knew. It’s ironic that 2 other ladies are in the exact same position as me on my ward, admitted at the same time and are equally distraught and feeling as though we have failed our Newborns for not giving them the food they needed.

We didn’t know this could happen, if we did, we would have taken measures to ensure it didn’t. It’s an educational thing perhaps.

I totally agree OP. Breast is best long term, but I honestly feel we should not let babies suffer while we wait for milk coming in. It just seems unnecessarily cruel. What’s the justification in letting them starve? I don’t get it.

I understand that staff are told they must drum it into mothers to breast feed and they are scared if they start new mums using bottles they may continue and not bother breast feeding. However not every mother will give up, many want to do the best for their babies as soon as they possibly can bf.

I also am concerned about delays in assessing allergies. Cows milk allergies, I’ll give you an example, dad and grandad allergic to milk. Mum feeding cows milk. Baby screaming. Doctor knew about family history and they told him again could it be that. Weeks later only after parents found blood in the nappy someone finally suggested goat milk. Instant relief. That poor baby suffered. And it’s not the only example of that. It’s the second time I’ve heard that.

On what planet is it ok for babies to be in pain and we just ignore it. It’s just cruel.

Everyone's experience is different. DD had a tiny amount of formula at about 16hrs old because she was tired and didn't want to feed. My milk didn't come in til day 6. Obviously she took a bit longer to regain her birth weight but we did fine and we're still going two years later.

Good god. What a load of insensitive posts. What a way to make someone already feeling like shit, worse. Yeah bfeeding worked out for you all. Great. It worked out for me too. But that doesn't mean I'm going to pile in on someone who has clearly struggled to tell her how great my own experience was. She doesn't want to be told you managed and that breast is best. She wants you to acknowledge that it doesn't work out for some and that's really hard and is sometimes not the best option for the babies health, and perhaps health professionals need to address this. The fake sympathy followed by your "well-meaning" advice. Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

OP - you're doing a great job and you're doing what you need to to get your baby well. Good luck xxx

Well, from a pure nutritional perspective, breast is best.

What you have experienced has got nothing to do with breastmilk or formula and the debate shouldn't be about that but a midwife who should have noticed the signs of a dehydrated baby and you should received the appropriate advice.

My breastfeeding journey was super easy, he even lost weight, so I believe you and your baby didn't receive the care you should have, it shouldn't start a debate on breastmilk vs formula.

@1940s, it’s not that rare, unfortunately. I know a few people this has happened to. Perhaps hospital admission is more unusual but colostrum not being “enough” for some babies, anecdotally, does seem to happen. I think some people lose their nerve if their milk is slow coming in and introduce formula before the baby gets that dehydrated - which is obviously a good thing! Others, like me, don’t read the signs correctly.

*he didn't even lose any weight

• he was jaundice but this had nothing to do with me not producing enough milk.

81% of mother’s start out breast feeding in the UK, by 6 weeks only 24% are exclusively breastfeeding.

You are not alone in this obviously the 24% of mothers who can and do breast feed well all comment on mumsnet 😒.

Breast milk is the healthiest option in terms of nutrition, but quite clearly breast is not best when you look at the statistics. My health visitor told me of a woman she had just been to see (a few months back) who is refusing to formula feed and the baby is seriously underweight. In her words ‘heartbreaking to watch’.

I breast fed for 5 weeks, well I say breast fed, I expressed. my child had a severe tongue tie and was unable to latch. Due to covid, we could not get his tongue snipped until 10 weeks old, I was advised by doctor, and 3 midwives that he could not breast feed due to not being able to move his tongue properly. I was advised to have his tongue snipped as they were concerned he wouldn’t be able to wean properly.This is a completely legitimate medical issue but oh the guilt I felt due to switching to formula (I just couldn’t keep milk supply up, although tried everything) it makes me so angry how other mothers shame mothers!

The virtue signalling needs to stop.

I breastfed 3 babies perfectly happily, wrongly assumed my fourth was ‘getting what they needed’, they weren’t, ended up under a paediatrician for ‘failure to thrive’, so I agree with you.

It isn't rate stall it's common. Women are pressured to breast feed It should be your choice. Babies do just as well in formula in fact better. They can get into aroutine and you can see how much they take. You can sleep without a baby attached to you all the time and so your not exhausted all the time being a dummy for your baby I hope you and your baby get better do what feels right for you

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like you’re having a rotten time and I hope your baby gets better soon.
I agree with you when you said it’s an educational thing - there’s all this advice when pregnant but actually very little on the first few days and very little on different scenarios. I had a meeting with a breastfeeding “support” pre natal and I swear she nearly sickened me off it completely. No mention that it could take a while for milk to come in, it was my friends who said to prepare formula just in case.
Anyway, my baby was up and down with jaundice and we’ve managed to breastfeed just fine. But, don’t feel the pressure - fed is best, do what you think is best for you and you baby, OP.

My daughter is 23 and breast is best was rammed down our throats during pregnancy and still antenatal groups - they even said midwifes wouldn’t help you to bottle feed so if you chose this method you needed to read up about it. My milk wouldn’t come in and she was so hungry, we got discharged after 4 days just to be readmitted to the children’s hospital for 5 days with jaundice lying under the lights. I was so uptight after feeding my husband eventually said let’s get her a bottle and the moment I did it was like the light had been switched on. I relaxed so much my milk came in the next day but I continued with bottle feeding. When I watch video taken of my daughter crying and crying in hospital hungry when I didn’t understand this at the time it breaks my heart

@Lucy830

81% of mother’s start out breast feeding in the UK, by 6 weeks only 24% are exclusively breastfeeding.

You are not alone in this obviously the 24% of mothers who can and do breast feed well all comment on mumsnet 😒.

Breast milk is the healthiest option in terms of nutrition, but quite clearly breast is not best when you look at the statistics. My health visitor told me of a woman she had just been to see (a few months back) who is refusing to formula feed and the baby is seriously underweight. In her words ‘heartbreaking to watch’.

I breast fed for 5 weeks, well I say breast fed, I expressed. my child had a severe tongue tie and was unable to latch. Due to covid, we could not get his tongue snipped until 10 weeks old, I was advised by doctor, and 3 midwives that he could not breast feed due to not being able to move his tongue properly. I was advised to have his tongue snipped as they were concerned he wouldn’t be able to wean properly.This is a completely legitimate medical issue but oh the guilt I felt due to switching to formula (I just couldn’t keep milk supply up, although tried everything) it makes me so angry how other mothers shame mothers!

The virtue signalling needs to stop.

why was the baby the HV mentioned not in hospital if they were seriously underweight??

Fed is best. Also faced massive pressures when we encountered issues with breast feeding until eventually a doctor looked at what was going on and just said ‘let’s stop this nonsense’. Don’t feel bad, please don’t. Enjoy this precious time with your new baby.

Your situation sounds very unusual. For the vast majority of babies colostrum is all they need for the first few days until their mother’s milk comes in. I wouldn’t take what happened to you as indicative of a general rule; as a principle, breast is best and for women who want to breastfeed and are able, there should be plenty of support and encouragement.

That said I can’t imagine it makes you feel any better to be told how unusual your situation is, so I certainly hope that your baby is better soon and you’re able to get home before too long.

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your baby!

Breastfeeding is not easy, or as simple as we are led to believe antenatally. I didn't manage to successfully breastfeed any of my children, and sent myself mad each time. I have 3 children, and I became more & more determined that I would manage to breastfeed with each one. It just didn't happen.

I had big babies, and simply didn't produce enough milk for them. I got into a feeding mess with each of them-breastfeeding, expressing to increase supply, barely sleeping, as my babies were starving and never settled. I was determined to make a success of breastfeeding though.

I was told by a GP I should stop breastfeeding, I had mastitis, my nipple had broken down and was an ulcerated mess. I still tried to carry on. It broke me 3 times.

My babies needed formula. They also needed a mother who was in a fit state to look after them, who wasn't crying all day because I couldn't breastfeed. Breastfeeding doesn't fall in to place for every mother.

It's horrible, because there is a huge sense of not doing the best thing for your baby, but breastfeeding is not always the best way to feed.

I experienced huge depths of despair that breastfeeding took me to. It's absolutely wonderful if it works, but if it doesn't, there is another way to feed your baby.

All the very best to you, OP

You're not wrong OP.

After I had my first baby by emergency c section, I had to have a midwife come and squeeze my breasts and milk me like I was a cow to try and feed my son. At midnight, after being awake for about three days and having had major abdominal surgery (did I mention that already?!) and throwing up after a reaction to the morphine I was given, I asked for formula. The midwife tried to talk me out of it. She asked what my husband would think, I wouldn't be able to come back from this, breast is best blah blah blah. I told her if she touched my breast again I would have her done for sexual assault and to get me some formula.

My milk didn't come in after either baby (both csections) until day five. Not a farts chance in hell I was going through all that for five days.

Definitely a huge lack of support and education in the UK. I have 2 sons who I really hope I have raised to be knowledgeable and supportive whether that be for partners if they have children, or among their friends or in the workplace.

PS
I have many nieces and nephews who were formula fed and they didn’t grow extra head or anything. Bright as buttons all of them, in fact I’d say better sleepers and better at getting into a routine. I really hope the responses on here don’t make you feel bad. Competitive mothering is shit.