Late October 2020 babies - Support Thread

[Mc3209]

Graduating from Pregnancy forum into Parenting one! I feel almost grown up.

And of course everyone is welcome to join!

@DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87 @sls668 @plentyofplants @Uppsydaisy
@sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790 @hmeadow24 @Ghostworld @roarfeckingroarr @Glooorb @mamavee @UpsyDaisy1234 @Samk93
@60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @SJR86 @Flora20 @Watersintheclouds @Jaffas22 @justtb

I am sorry if I missed anyone!

@GhostWorld I am up regularly through the night too, every 2-3 hours. Admittedly, not as bad as every 1.5 hours you are doing.

@Mc3209 @GhostWorld we’re very hit and miss too on a night. We get the odd night with just one wake up at about 4am but some nights, like last night, she was up every hour! We’re breastfeeding too, I’m sure there’s a link!

@GhostWorld my BF baby wakes every 1.5 to 2.5 hours through the night too. I pump one feed so my DH can do a turn while I sleep. The most I ever get pumping is about 4oz, so reading about all these FF babies having 8oz and more...maybe it's a quantity thing? Just keep telling myself the broken sleep is worth it for all the health benefits of breastfeeding for me and baby!

My DS is mix fed and still waking very frequently. Usually he has a good 3/4/5/6 hour chunk at the beginning of the night but after that he has very disturbed sleep and is awake every hour to two hours, sometimes 30 minutes I've started not even looking at the clock. It doesn't seem to matter what I do in the day with his naps, it seems like pot luck how the night goes! Some nights he links sleep cycles better than others.

Interesting discussion about BF vs FF - my DS actually sleeps better after his bedtime breastfeed at 7/8ish which can last him until his first night feed which can be as late as 3am sometimes - whereas he then has about 6/7oz formula and wakes loads, so I'm not sure it makes any difference!

@BlueLilyLilyBlue I ve been thinking it's just down to some babies having bigger stomachs than others rather which kind of milk they have, since mine is massive (22lbish) I think thats why he can sleep longer.

Naps make no difference for us either, so if he seems very tired I ll try and help him sleep otherwise I stopped trying to have a routine with them as it was stressing me out.

@1990shopefulftm you might be right there, DS is teeny in comparison at 14.5 lb!

He's also not rolling yet either, same issue with his arms. Just swimming and looking helpless

@BlueLilyLilyBlue he's barely on the centile chart now so he is well above what nearly every baby this age are, yes swimming that's how i describe what he does and then he does this face to ask why aren't i moving forward mummy.

We've been in clinic today as she was jumping up the chart. She’s started loosing it now and heading back to the 50th line (17lbs) which they are happy with. Still on the same amount of feeds / milk so they think it down to how active she is.

I have a mixed bag here, my sisters baby is FF and over 20lbs, he wakes every 2/3 hours. Whereas my friends 10th centile BF sleeps through. I have a local baby group with babies at the same age now, and there is such a mixed bag, but like here the consensus is that the FF do sleep better, even though they say it doesn’t make any difference. They will hopefully all get there in the end. We just wake for her dummy now, seems it’s a huge sleep crutch.

@Deut28 do you just pump for one session? I try get a bottle a day for dad to give but it takes me 3-4 pumping sessions to get 8oz which she usually either finishes or very nearly does.

Hey ladies!

Any recommendations for steamer and blender machines ready to start weaning?

@Sls668 I usually get between 2oz and 4oz from one session, which DH then gives early morning. Baby then typically sleeps for a couple more hours in his arms. I've done two pumping sessions in a day if I'm not getting much, but it's hard fitting it in. I'm planning to pump throughout the day when I go back to work in a few months. Thankfully my work are really supportive.

So interesting re ff/bf sleep patterns! We're co sleeping too so I thought maybe it was partly because of proximity, like if there was a bacon sandwich a few inches from my face I would probably eat all night too 😂

How much housework are your other halves doing?

I am not sure whether I am being cranky or have a point.
My DH cooks (but doesn't meal plan, so often there is literally no food in the house unless I meal plan for the week), does grocery shopping (usually complaining about the shopping list if I meal plan, that it's too long/bulky items), and takes bins out to the curb once a week. I do everything else + baby all the time. Ie he does not take the baby for few hours to give me time to do stuff/rest. Often when I leave him in charge of the baby to brush my teeth in the evening I hear 'but come back quickly'.
He works full time.

@Mc3209 obviously it’s different for me. But from what I see from family / friends partners, you have a point. Especially with the “come back quickly” comment when your literally just brushing your teeth. Their partners work, and will generally have the baby for a few hours in the evening, whilst they have a bath, and take it in turns to cook / do bedtime. They also get a few hours on a weekend to generally just catch up. My sister has offered to come look after DD for a few hours on Saturday so I can catch up, and her DP will have her 2dc (one that’s 3 months).

@Mc3209 I have sort of similar issues to you I think with my DH, although after addressing it it is slightly improving. Like you the only jobs my DH has is food shopping and bins. He will take the baby but only when I ask him to, I.e. when I'm exhausted. I dislike this as it almost becomes a favour then and I feel pressure to be as quick as possible. He has offered to take the baby to his mums on a weekend but I don't want to be away from the baby for several hours and it's just a one off! I've asked for him to at least do bathtime regularly so we can share bedtime and he is offering more regularly now to take him for a few minutes on his lunch, before we get up etc. It is improving although I really dislike the "you're naturally much better at it" as if because I'm a woman I have some sort of manual and that it's my fault for not asking him to do stuff like washing and hoovering . It's very unfair that women carry the mental load a lot of the time. I hope it gets better - I'm trying to be better at communicating how I feel as otherwise I just build resentment.

@DressingGown87 thank you, that puts things into perspective.
@BlueLilyLilyBlue same. It drives me nuts how my DH thinks I somehow have it easier with looking after baby. Precisely 'you are so much better at this than me' and 'oh, he wants his mum'. We work in the same area, but different specialities, and he keeps sending me courses saying things like 'oh look what course you can do whilst you are on mat leave'. He thinks I am sitting on my arse all day eating bon bons, and yet he can't hack it even for few hours without my input. Drives me up the wall.
You are right, I need to make sure I am communicating better to avoid resentment build up.

@Mc3209 if it's any consolation I know a lot of my mum friends have had similar issues with their partners. It is exhausting to look after a baby (ugh to mat leave being some sort of holiday) and working full time is not a get out clause for not parenting. I sometimes think BFing has not helped us in that regard either.

@Mc3209 I m sorry to hear that, I do washing, dishwasher and most of the cooking (but I love cooking so happy to do it) and he does pretty much everything else housework wise.
We treat his not working as both our time to do what we like and look after baby, he d never say no to if I wanted to do something.
We did shifts at nighttime until he started sleeping much better so he's quite confident with DS, I think that helped.

@Mc3209 That must be so tough. I find it pretty exhausting and my DH is doing more than his fair share of the housework. He has the baby for an early morning feed every day and then pretty equally when he's not working or I'm not feeding. He is really confident with her and she adores him, but that definitely comes with having spent time together. I know in the beginning he found it enlightening that I didn't just naturally know how to look after a baby, I have had to learn the same as him.

Thank you for the solidarity, everyone! Was good to get it off my chest.

@Mc3209 my DH looks after baby in the morning from 7am to 8.30am if she wakes up during the night for a feed which is when I get up. I do the washing and cleaning the kitchen and hoovering but cleaning the bathroom is his job on the weekends plus taking the bins out as I can't lift our bin to put it out. I prefer doing our washing because he kept doing it wrong or not putting enough load in the machine! He WFH so it's not as bad. On the weekends we help each other out and if I need to nap then he lets me. He's quite confident with her and she adores him. Hopefully things will improve, might be a bit scary when it's one to one but if he finds his own way of entertaining DC he would see it not as daunting and let you have a bit of a break.

Took DS on the bus with me to my GP a smear test this morning, first ever trip on the bus and he was really happy bless him. I was worried about bus trips with my coordination issues but it was so easy.

@1990shopefulftm aww he sounds adorable 😊 glad the journey was easier than anticipated!

Is anyone suffering the teething poop nappies? Just started last week and it's like 4 poops a day🙈 phoned up gp and text HV because she's never done this before and they say "yep, teething causes it. No worries if there's no fever and feeding fine". We've gone through a huge pack of nappies in space of 2 weeks! Just want this tooth to come through so it would stop!

@Strawberries4days I m not sure if we ve had that, he usually has 2/3 poos a week but on Monday he had that many in a day.

He's just over 20 weeks so he seems to have been teething on and off for about 12 weeks now.

I was wrong about him not upping bottles till weaning, we now do 4 10 Oz bottles a day,sometimes he ll want a bit more in one of them.