Buggy shaming left us isolated

[Halloweenrainbow]

I'm a single parent to 4.5 year old with no car. We live on a new estate slightly outside of town with no direct bus route to shops, leisure centre etc and it's just too far for my daugter to walk there and back. We have a tricycle but she can't go far on it. There's nowhere to put her feet because she's too big for the toddler foot rest and she gets caught-up/hurt with her feet on the peddles with me pushing. She can ride a bike but only for about 100ft. I've given her a push along trolly to distract and motivate her but last time she gave up half way and I ended up carrying her plus trolly, shopping, and bag all the way home - I could hardly use my arms for two days after and swore never to risk that again! I've read previous posts and news articles on the issue that all seem to have a negative view of parents who still use a buggy for older kids. What's the alternative? When I out and about all I can hear in my head is "what a lazy mother", "no wonder kids are fat these days" to the extent that we don't go out much anymore.

OP - my youngest was in a buggy to and from school at 5+!

I did get some comments about him being 'too big' for a buggy - from people who parked as close to the school as they possibly could, and ferried their children in the car everywhere. What's the difference? They sat, he sat.

We walked everywhere, always. Still do.

green I got bollocked on here years ago for saying I use the buggy to walk fast. Apparently I should have left earlier . There weren't enough hours in the day to allow allow the dc's to walk everywhere even if I left earlier. At least we all got vitamin D.

There’s a difference between a fun walk and a long dull walk for a boring purpose.

At one point I was walking ds to school with pre-school dd - one mile there and one mile back. And then again in the afternoon - another two miles. When dd started school she finished at midday so that was another journey, as I still had to collect ds at 3.30. Too right I used a pushchair!!!

Reminds me of a CF extraordinaire, who approached me and said, “Can I have your buggy?” Me: “But dd is sitting in it.” CF: “She’s too old for a buggy, though.” Me: “Er, ok, in a few weeks, then.”

That makes me sound so weak, but this was said in a very haughty commanding voice by Queen Bee of the school. Yes, I was weak...

Anyway, OP, as long as your dc can do a bit of walking, if you need to use the pushchair, just use the pushchair. I can’t imagine anyone in real life could be bothered to judge, and if they do then they’re not worth wasting brain space on.

I boughy my son the same age a scooter that has a seat on it for when he gets tired, I then tie a strap around the handle and pull him along

There’s a difference between a fun walk and a long dull walk for a boring purpose.

It’s what you make it. If you have a boring walk you make it more interesting by chatting to your child as you’re walking. It’s only as boring as you allow it to be.

I don't drive either. We do have a bus route but I'm a bit tight 😂 and don't think we'd be on the bus long enough to warrant the hassle and price (not to mention the now Covid risk).
The youngest outgrew his buggy well and truly at about 3- he's tall for his age though. We just started walking. He was used to us walking to places like the park and has obviously never been used to being driven around in a car. You just need to go for it, they soon get used to it. Just leave plenty of time, be prepared to stop and look at leaves and bugs, and enjoy the conversations you can have. No saying things like, 'I know you only have little legs, I'm sorry it's a trek'- just a get on with it attitude.
However, if your DC can still get away with being in the buggy comfort-wise and it really would be a lifesaver, then it's your call. It won't be forever anyway.

If she’s small and still fits the buggy use it. I would ensure she has good trainers and comfortable socks for walking and get a large strong ruck sack for any shopping I’m carrying, and just build her up with the walking whilst still taking the pram, give her huge amounts of praise and a marble, token, reward for the little further each day. When she has 10 she can trade them for a gift.

I was in the lucky position and having a car, several pushchairs, bike with child seats etc. I often just popped my 4 year old in the pushchair. I didn't care what anyone said. No one ever did say anything!

And the issue with the location makes a massive difference when it comes to children walking too. If you need to be constantly vigilant of the on coming traffic it makes it much harder than when you can say “let’s have a race to the next lamppost” or even fully focus on chatting away

My goodness the judgement from some pps!
OP, if I were you I'd take the buggy, and use it for carrying most of the shopping. Let your daughter walk part of the way, and then if you gets tired and you want to move quickly, she can get in and ride.
A healthy 4 year old isn't going to want to be pushed in the buggy all the time.
My tiny 4 year old used to be so shattered after school that I'd take the buggy when I picked her up.
She's 26 now, fit as a flea, and spends her weekends hiking.
You need to do what works for you both
We did our 'exercise' separately from trying to carry lots of shopping whilst coping with a small child.
Agree with those who pointed out that nobody bats an eyelid at parents who drive to do the same errands.

Scooter. And one you can carry.

If you buy a buggy you will just be pushing the problem further down the line. Get your child used to walking and it will be fine. Use the scooter so that they can use that/you can pull them when they are tired.

*she gets tired, obviously

A rucksack for your shopping to free up your hands?

God, Please dont carry a 4.5 year old, a scooter and your shopping. You will knacker your back and once the damage is done

Really does depend on the distance, which you have so far refused to answer.

A four and half year old is not a toddler and should be walking, you should be encouraging that and trying to break the buggy habit.

@randomer

I think buildin gup to longer walks is the way to go.When you say slightly out of town....how slightly?

It's a valid question.

Kids have a lot more energy than you at that age. We are not talking about a marathon or sprinting with you with their little legs, but they can walk for hours. They just need practice.

Most schools have managed to take entire classrooms on day trips!

The fact that for some posters 30 minutes is a "long distance" show you where the problem is. Them.

But I agree, you build it from the beginning. Surely if you haven't got a car your kid must be used to walk anyway? Take snacks and allow breaks obviously. Buggy with board are a good idea. Who cares what other people think anyway.

Many of us judge lazy parents who have to drive 5 or 10 minutes to go to school, that doesn't stop them 😂

Children need time and practice to build up their stamina. They do get tired in walks. So you stop and have a break. It takes forever. But they get faster and less moany eventually.
Keep an eye out On selling sites for a cheap maxi micro scooter. She’ll go for miles on one of those.

Really does depend on the distance, which you have so far refused to answer

Yes, it could be 500m or 5k there and back. Makes all the difference.

Mind you I'm not good at estimate distance, I've no idea how far it is to my Sainsburys.

Have a look at 3 wheeled microscooters. Admittedly I am quite short, but I used to be able to grab the handles and drag DC if necessary.
It used to get her 1 1/2miles to/from nursery as a toddler.

The advantage of a buggy, though, is surely that you can pile it high with shopping?

It is well worth investing some time and effort getting a young child used to walking at reasonable speed. Can you change the route a bit or stop off for a treat (be it food or a swing) to break the journey?

Longer term maybe save up for a cargo bike.

This must be a cultural thing. Here people use "bollerwagens" or other small carriages for kids. Google it. You go to the zoo here, for example, lots of people have it, also for older kids. When you go to shop, put your kid in it, when you go back put shopping in it or kid and shopping.

I cannot believe anyone would give you grief for that. And yes, my kids walk a lot, but noone would bat an eyelid if you plopped them in a car, but they will if you plonk them in something else?

Scooter all the way with cheap pull along strap- I don't drive but would definitely balk at a 4 plus in a buggy - teaches them to be passive...not a toddler - ability and strength will build up and make life easier in the long run.

A scooter with a rope tied to it so you can pull her along when her leg gets tired from pushing! Worked a treat with my reluctant walker.

Another adding support for a scooter. We had a maxi microscooter and although they are a little pricey they are well worth the money. Plus I reckon you could pick one up pretty cheaply second hand as they are very robust.

I attached a sturdy ribbon to the handlebars that I used to pull them along when they got tired/going uphill without killing my back. Plus if they don't want to scoot, they are easy to carry.

However, please ignore the judgements from others, it is none of their business.

A few families near us have those cart things that you see a lot in some European countries- one that you can chuck all your shopping and children in and pull along. They look brilliant!
This type of thing:
www.divein.com/beach-wagon/

Loads of kids aged 4 use buggies/ it's no ones business. My 3.5 year old has a red kite stroller from Asda which she hasn't used since starting nursery a few months ago and we took her for a walk a couple of days ago. Poor thing got so tired we had to pick her up because she fell asleep after a long day at Nursery. Kids are still kids. Do what's right for you and your child. I wouldn't risk the backache picking a child of that age up for a long period of time.I also got the stroller because a lot of people in the reviews wrote 4-5-6 year olds used it especially at Disneyland when they got tired. If it works for them it works for me. Don't care what anyone says. My child walks and if she gets tired I'll happily use a stroller. It's not like she's going to be 10 and using it! Actually also remember she has used it once when I went shopping and then decided she wanted to walk. It's not like we're babying them. Do yourself and her a favour and do what makes life easier.