Rushing to move baby into their own rooms or to sleep on their own...

[Safesleeping]

I've seen so many posts recently about putting babies in their own room and such a young age so the parent/s can sleep better. So many comment "my baby makes to much noise at night" "my baby needs to learn to sleep in their own". Its so sad, your baby needs and wants to be around you, there is the 6month rule for a reason.

Why do you really need to push your baby out at such young ages? Did you not think about these things before having a baby? I really hope nothing happens to these babies that are being put into their own rooms because mummy needs more sleep...

Do you have a baby OP or have you had one?

🙄

Yes I have a baby. And I followed the 6months rule. 2 of my friends had babies pass away in their sleep.

I think if people don't want to follow the rules that's fine but I dont think it should be put in a forum like its normal and nobody should follow the guidance

They are guidelines not rules.

I’m sorry two friends lost their babies, that’s awful.

I understand there guidelines and not everyone is going to follow them. But thats personal opinion and I dont think people should advocate doing the opposite

Were your 2 kids good sleepers?

My kids are not good sleepers. I breastfed and my 10month old still wakes in the night. But to me that's motherhood and I chose for my babies to be here not them so I do my best.

I really hope nothing happens to these babies that are being put into their own rooms because mummy needs more sleep...

Nice to see that if the worst should happen that the blame appears to lie solely with mummy...

Not just mummy. But from reading on here so many mummy's state they want them in their own room because the baby is either noise or they think they will sleep better in their own room and then the mummy can get sleep.

The baby did not chose to be born and be an inconvenience to the parents

My ds was premature and there's a history of sids in my family so I followed the safe sleeping guides quite religiously. Me or dh was with him for every sleep until he was 6 months. It's not like we just sat and stared at him, we'd bod about the living room tidying etc in the day and at night I'd either just catch up on sleep, read my kindle or watch TV on tablet with headphones on.

With almost all other bits I've been pretty relaxed, but this was none negotiable because of circumstances. I know it's not practical / possible for everyone and maybe I was being over the top. But I had sooooo many people (online and in real life) tell me I was being 'ridiculous' etc, it was really annoying.

@Fivebyfive2 thats exactly what I have done. I have never sat there and watched my children sleep. But I have always been in the same room.

I'm not saying it is for everyone and sometimes parents might have to let the baby sleep on their own for reason I don't need to know about. But I dont think "needing more sleep myself" is a good excuse.

I'm a relaxed parent but try to follow things the best I can and I think anyone who is parent should try their best.

Well. You are a very judgemental person. Are you this forward with your friends face to face, or is it just on MN that you find yourself on a very pretty high horse?

Not judgemental. What people do is their own business but I dont agree with people putting it in the Internet and telling others that "oh nothing happened to my baby and I finally got some sleep".

And yes I talk about this subject with friends. And my friend who's baby passed away I spoke with her as she had another child and spoke to her about the risks.

And yes I talk about this subject with friends. And my friend who's baby passed away I spoke with her as she had another child and spoke to her about the risks.

Yikes how patronising! I'm sure she knew the risks but felt she was trying to do the best for her child. I'm sure its of great comfort to her that a supposed friend thinks she is slefish for not following the guidance to the letter and therefore to blame for her childs death.

I think your post is judgemental, OP. You don't know the ins and outs of people's lives to judge. I put my ds in his own room at 5 months; I slept better and so did he. Do I feel the need to justify it? Absolutely not.

The guidelines are 6-12 months, the latter being seen as ideal, but as with everything in medicine, it's more complicated than that as while there is evidence that sleeping in the same room and hearing others helps with an infant's arousal response, they do sleep less which while possibly protective, does have it's own risks

All but one of my kids slept in with me until at least a year - one of mine kicked a lot in her sleep and so at about 10-11 months we moved her to a trundle bed and the larger space helped her a lot. I also coslept in a bed while breastfeeding which has it's own set of risk factors. Pretty much everything has risks and responsibilities to balance with benefits.

With the evidence I've seen, I wouldn't recommend "rushing" before 4 months (later if there is a family history), but after that the risks start to nosedive for most and sleep really can be that much of an issue that it may be the main considerations. Sleep deprivation has it's own major list of risks, especially when caring for someone reliant on you. I know lots of parents who did riskier things, myself included, to get more sleep. Very few things in life fit statistical ideals.

Sadly, some deaths from SIDS occur even if all the guidelines are followed. It just happens. The risks are reduced, not eliminated. Imagine how the argument you’re putting forward must feel to someone in that situation.

People need to evaluate the guidance and do what works for them.

FWIW I moved DS into his own room at five months and three weeks, because he outgrew his sidecar crib and his cot wouldn’t fit in my bedroom. Is that ok, or should I have slept on his bedroom floor for six days?

It’s not a rule it’s a guideline. I put my son in his room at 7 weeks and he’s a wonderful sleeper now. If you have a video monitor with sound it’s basically the same as having them next to you anyway.

Not judgemental. What people do is their own business but I dont agree with people putting it in the Internet and telling others that "oh nothing happened to my baby and I finally got some sleep".

But you’ve come onto the internet to give your opinion on why it’s wrong? You’re being judgy

I think you are right, op. If a baby is in their own room and wakes up crying, you'll still have to get up to change and feed so there's no advantage to them being in their own room, which needs to be introduced gradually when they are older. They spent nine months inside you, it seems a shame to set them aside so early. It's cosy and natural to have a baby in your room and in your bed as long as you are careful.

They’re not rules. They’re guidance.
What’s right for one isn’t necessarily right for another.
Unless it directly affects you, then you shouldn’t worry.
And for it’s worth dd went in her own room at 7 months.

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs my post is most proberly written very rudely and wrong. I am not judging what you do that is your life not mine. But when people ask if its safe to put a 2month old in their own room and people comment saying they did it their baby is fine, then I think that is wrong. I think people should just state the guidelines and thats it.

@LittleMissLockdown I did not upset my friend. As her baby passed away so young she still didn't understand many risks and because she was given a breathing sensor she thought that was the same as being in the same room. She also thought she could wean at whatever age as long as it was past 2 months so yes I did have a chat with her and she was grateful as she was scared about everything

@jessstan1 your post is exactly what I was actually trying to say. I think I've just come across so rude but I'm not. A baby being away from their parents at such a young age is going to be so scary and I can't even imagine waking multiple times through the night and going to another room.

@Dinosaur01 no judgement but it’s actually not at all the same. The reason babies are best sleeping close to mum is they regulate their breathing with your breathing, that’s what’s protective against SIDS about them sleeping close to you. They can’t regulate their breathing with a monitor. All a monitor does is tell you if they’ve stopped breathing, sleeping close to you actually prevents them from stopping breathing. Our babies have evolved to be on us all the time like other primates.

Did your friend not have a midwife or health visitor? Safe sleeping is discussed so much during pregnancy I find it incredibly hard to believe she knew nothing and needed your expert imput.

Also please dont pretend you are not being judgemental. People are allowed to state what did and didn't work for them as well as sharing the guidance.