Rushing to move baby into their own rooms or to sleep on their own...

[Safesleeping]

I've seen so many posts recently about putting babies in their own room and such a young age so the parent/s can sleep better. So many comment "my baby makes to much noise at night" "my baby needs to learn to sleep in their own". Its so sad, your baby needs and wants to be around you, there is the 6month rule for a reason.

Why do you really need to push your baby out at such young ages? Did you not think about these things before having a baby? I really hope nothing happens to these babies that are being put into their own rooms because mummy needs more sleep...

I agree OP, I’m not saying in every extreme circumstances you have to be in same room, but it is important, even by sharing experience, not to promote sleeping separately.

I hate people saying this is judging parents of babies who have died from SIDS. It is possible to reduce risks not eliminate them and we will all do that to different degrees and we will likely never really know what/if any impact that had on an individual outcome.

However if it makes some uncomfortable to make a culture that only supports safe baby sleeping then it could save a baby/family heartbreak.

Mine all stayed with me till over 1. My 3 Yr old is still in with us!

If someone is putting themselves in danger by being over tired from not sleeping then it's a call they make, and understandable. Personally I stuck to 6 months even though I was getting only a few hours a night, as I'd never forgive myself if something did happen and I knew I'd gone against the guidance- not that it would be someone's fault, but it's personally how I felt.

I always find it interesting on these threads that you get so many people asserting that it's an absolute fact that sleeping in the same room lowers SIDS risk because the baby can hear you breathing, or because of the CO2 you breathe out. Those are both theories. There is a correlation between sleeping in the same room and lower risk of SIDS, but no one knows why. It's also a pretty weak correlation.

@Hardbackwriter

I always find it interesting on these threads that you get so many people asserting that it's an absolute fact that sleeping in the same room lowers SIDS risk because the baby can hear you breathing, or because of the CO2 you breathe out. Those are both theories. There is a correlation between sleeping in the same room and lower risk of SIDS, but no one knows why. It's also a pretty weak correlation.

Noooo don't come here with your reasonable statements and logic, we're busy berating women for making the right choices for their families!

what I find interesting on MN is that co sleeping is seen as fine when this isn’t seen as fine. Co sleeping is far more dangerous yet it seems like that’s ok on MN

Personally I could never co-sleep. Mentally I just couldn’t fall asleep with a tiny baby next to me in bed, knowing that I could injure, crush or suffocate them in my sleep. And I know the research doesn’t agree with me, but logically and using basic common sense it seems so unbelievably dangerous.

I posted on here by tooling ago about my 4.5 month old baby potentially being moved into own room when we move house as there is no room for her cot bed in new home and I cannot move furniture because it’s all fitted, she will be 5 months by then and she wakes every time we move in the night, I have not completely made a decision whether to move her or to buy something else for the time being but there is no need for judgement. I’m sure every mother has read the guidelines, most people come on here for support and advice not judgement.

I don't think babies give a shit where mummy is when they're asleep. So if they sleep better in their own room it's win win for both mum and baby.

As with everything (you'll learn this later OP with experience) it depends on the baby, the mum and the circumstances.

Exactly @mynameiscalypso . It’s not about judging people for the decisions they make.

But it’s important people have the correct facts so they are able to make an ‘informed’ decision based on their own personal circumstance.
Which is why misinformation like the dummy example I have earlier or pp suggestion an angel care monitor with video are just as good are dangerous.
The same issue arises around the make up for formula. People needs to understand the reason for the rules / guidelines or they can come to the wrong and potentially dangerous conclusions.

Oh FFS OP. Have a bloody fucking medal.

Just because your baby is in the same room as you, doesn't mean you will magically wake up if something happens. You do realise that, don't you?! I've had all manner of disasters happen to my DC when they are literally sat or stood beside me! My DS fell into a pond once while I actually had hold of his hand.

Fucking hell. The competitive ‘parenting’ on this site is becoming unbearable.

@user1493413286

Have you thought about not posting unless your facts that your pulling out the bag aren't really true?

Co sleeping, when guidelines are followed, is NO MORE DANGEROUS than a baby sleeping in a cot or crib. No children have died through co sleeping where all the guidelines were followed.

People like you spouting crap can scare new mums and can actually potentially lead to more dangerous situations.

[quote ariettesmall]@user1493413286

Have you thought about not posting unless your facts that your pulling out the bag aren't really true?

Co sleeping, when guidelines are followed, is NO MORE DANGEROUS than a baby sleeping in a cot or crib. No children have died through co sleeping where all the guidelines were followed.

People like you spouting crap can scare new mums and can actually potentially lead to more dangerous situations.[/quote]
Categorically false. A family friend lost their daughter to SIDS cosleeping. Every rule followed, literally to the letter. Baby died in her sleep on her second night in the world. Zero reason, zero fault.

Both of mine were very good sleepers, I wouldn't have hesitated putting them in to separate bedroom from very early age, alas, we had no room at the time, so both slept in our room until they were 24months.
I see no problems putting them into different room at night.

I see no problems putting them into different room at night.

Apart from the increase risk of dying?

@Ohalrightthen

Please, find me some reviewed scientific evidence that supports this.

I had mine in for ages, but you're being massively unreasonable! The evidence isn't even very good to keep them in for the full 6 months. Until 4 months yes. But also every guideline is a way of reducing risk, it's not that if you follow every guideline the risk magically goes away. It's still there, just smaller. People are free to weigh the increased risk up against the benefits for themselves.

And a cot death is never ever a parent's fault even if they ignored all guidelines completely. It must be a horrific thing to go through quite without people making horrible passive aggressive statements.

(have now rtft)

OH MY GOD yes I am so fed up of people insisting totally random nuggets of anecdote they have read on Facebook or mumsnet are real, actual, true facts.

Unless you actually have read the studies or understand where it comes from please don't repeat random crap you have heard, it makes it hard to tell what's worth listening to and what isn't.

[quote ariettesmall]@Ohalrightthen

Please, find me some reviewed scientific evidence that supports this. [/quote]
Would you like me to ask my friend for the post mortem on her infant daughter?

You said no children die from safe cosleeping, and you're wrong.

Apologies, that should be WHILE safe cosleeping, not from.

Mine slept in their own rooms after a couple of weeks. I could hear if they woke up. They seem none the worse for it.

From the lullaby trust website:

“The safest place for your baby to sleep is a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for the first 6 months, even during the day“

Why are people so bloody judging about the same room part, but not the separate cot/Moses basket part?!

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/room-sharing/

@ariettesmall

Sorry cba looking up actual journals myself, but I assume the lullaby trust is a reputable source:

A large study of evidence from across Europe found that the risk of sudden infant death was significantly reduced when the infant slept in the same room, but not the same bed, as the parents

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/room-sharing/

I couldn’t sleep with mine in the bed, I’d be awake worrying I would squish her. Once asleep, I’d move her to her crib, which was in our bedroom. She’s four now and still sleeps in our bed most of the time.
Just because you are in the same room, I don’t see how you could prevent something from happening anyway, say your a heavy sleeper... you can’t remain awake 24 hours a day watching your baby. You’d make yourself physically ill!

@Ohalrightthen

Well no, not really, because that would be weird. Almost as weird as arguing against decades of scientific research.

And science, evidence, whatever you want to call it, says that no child has died as a result of safe co sleeping directly.

They have died because the guidelines were either not followed or because the child already had an underlying condition that wasn't already known.