Rushing to move baby into their own rooms or to sleep on their own...

[Safesleeping]

I've seen so many posts recently about putting babies in their own room and such a young age so the parent/s can sleep better. So many comment "my baby makes to much noise at night" "my baby needs to learn to sleep in their own". Its so sad, your baby needs and wants to be around you, there is the 6month rule for a reason.

Why do you really need to push your baby out at such young ages? Did you not think about these things before having a baby? I really hope nothing happens to these babies that are being put into their own rooms because mummy needs more sleep...

@ariettesmall - honestly you cannot say that no babies have died when all the guidelines are followed as babies very sadly die when all the guidelines are followed when they sleep in cots. You can do everything you’re supposed to and it still happens. The research on a lot of this is relatively weak when you look into it. You have just personified what I was saying though.

@ShallICompareTheeToASummersDay

Unfortunately no, I wouldn't trust everything the lullaby trust says.

I really don't think threads like this help anyone. I was absolutely petrified of cot death when DS was tiny and researched all the guidance obsessively. I still decided to move him to his own room at 3 months because it worked for us. If all the other guidelines are followed the increased risk is absolutely tiny.

I felt personally that I was safer getting up to DS when he cried rather than risking dropping back off to sleep with him in bed with me where he could be smothered by accident. Everyone has their own assessment of risk and it is up to each individual to choose what they are comfortable with. You'd have to be incredibly unlucky to lose a baby to cot death even if you ignored all the guidance.

@user1493413286

But I can say that, and I have. And I will again.

No baby has died as a direct result of co sleeping when they had no underlying conditions and where all guidelines were followed.

@ariettesmall

Well then what’s the fucking point in berating people for not following the guideline when the people who come up with the guideline can’t be trusted?

Ok then - you show me the peer reviewed, scientific journals where it states that sleeping in a different room to a baby increases risk of SIDS but co-sleeping is as safe as baby sleeping in the same room but in their own cot/basket?

Wow OP very judegemental post!

They are guidelines, and every parent can do their own risk assessment, for sleeping along with everything else.

@ShallICompareTheeToASummersDay

I've not berated anyone?

@ariettesmall

It was more a throwing my hands up in the air comment rather than specifically aimed at you. But the OP is very clearly judging anyone who dares go against this specific guideline, deeming them selfish parents. And those who heavily influence (if not create) the guidelines aren’t to be trusted. So as a parent how am I supposed to know which guidelines to follow? And won’t that then lead me to discussing with other parents....feels like an endless cycle!!

Friends of ours had their DD in a separate room from day one so “ she’d get used to sleeping on her own”. I thought it was shocking - a cold decision. They had plenty of room in their bedroom but just didn’t want her in with them.

My nephew died in his pram in the living room yards away from his mother in the same room . He was unwell and had overheated . It was in the 70s and people thought that a poorly baby had to be wrapped up warm ( MIL was a stickler for swaddling babies) with extra blankets and pram near radiator . There is lot more information about these days and just for peace of mind I would follow guidelines with a bit of common sense thrown in .

That is so sad, Ken. I know someone whose baby died in a carry cot in the back of the car during a short journey to visit someone. Such things are so devastating, I can't imagine how people move on from them - but they do, thankfully. I think if something like that had happened to mine I'd be terrified to let any future baby out of my or my husband's sight for a minute.

[quote ariettesmall]@user1493413286

But I can say that, and I have. And I will again.

No baby has died as a direct result of co sleeping when they had no underlying conditions and where all guidelines were followed.

[/quote]
Ive told you that you're wrong, my friend's child died perfectly healthy (proven by the post mortem) while safely cosleeping.

I want to read the scientific proof that no healthy child has ever died while safely cosleeping. Please send me the link.

[quote ariettesmall]@user1493413286

But I can say that, and I have. And I will again.

No baby has died as a direct result of co sleeping when they had no underlying conditions and where all guidelines were followed.

[/quote]
Except, as i have told you, my friend's child. The coroner's report concluded that there was no underlying conditions and all guidelines had been followed.

Please point me towards the research that says that not one single child has died while cosleeping completely safely. Please.

[quote ariettesmall]@user1493413286

But I can say that, and I have. And I will again.

No baby has died as a direct result of co sleeping when they had no underlying conditions and where all guidelines were followed.

[/quote]
Except, as i have told you, my friend's child. The coroner's report concluded that there was no underlying conditions and all guidelines had been followed.

Please point me towards the research that says that not one single child has died while cosleeping completely safely. Please.

That is so sad, Ken. I know someone whose baby died in a carry cot in the back of the car during a short journey to visit someone. Such things are so devastating, I can't imagine how people move on from them - but they do, thankfully. I think if something like that had happened to mine I'd be terrified to let any future baby out of my or my husband's sight for a minute.

You can quote as much research or as many stats as you like, but nothing will convince me that it’s safe to put a tiny baby in a massive double bed with two sleeping adults who have no control over their movements (because they’re asleep).

You can quote as much research or as many stats as you like, but nothing will convince me that it’s safe to put a tiny baby in a massive double bed with two sleeping adults who have no control over their movements (because they’re asleep).

You can quote as much research or as many stats as you like, but nothing will convince me that it’s safe to put a tiny baby in a massive double bed with two sleeping adults who have no control over their movements (because they’re asleep).

You can quote as much research or as many stats as you like, but nothing will convince me that it’s safe to put a tiny baby in a massive double bed with two sleeping adults who have no control over their movements (because they’re asleep).

You can quote as much research or as many stats as you like, but nothing will convince me that it’s safe to put a tiny baby in a massive double bed with two sleeping adults who have no control over their movements (because they’re asleep).

Co sleeping guidelines advise not to do it if you are extremely tired. Surely that rules out most parents of young babies?

@Rollingdragon

Co sleeping guidelines advise not to do it if you are extremely tired. Surely that rules out most parents of young babies?

Yeah, but that's why they're co sleeping. The advice is to prepare your bed for co-sleeping in case you inadvertantly end up doing it. I co-slept with my first because it was safer then falling asleep on the sofa with her, which was going to happen otherwise, and she wouldn't sleep in her own cot. Thankfully, DS does sleep in his own cot (for now at least), so I've been able to avoid it this time around.

Also FYI sids is very rare so if you've had two friends whose babies have passed from it I'd consider not befriending any more people with children.

Yes, in fact it seems like OP is the common factor here. And at OPs tale of lecturing her friend who's baby died about safe sleeping practices and what age to wean, and her friend being ever so grateful . A friend who was suprised to hear these ideas as apparently they didn't have access to the internet ever, didn't give birth in hospital, and has no gp, hv, friends or family.

I have an 18 day old son and I fully intend to keep him close for a minimum of six months. WhT would be nice though would be for him to sleep in his next 2 me cot or Moses basket not just on me at night.

Also FYI sids is very rare so if you've had two friends whose babies have passed from it I'd consider not befriending any more people with children.

What a disgusting comment.