Awful day with DS

[daisy86]

DS is just over 6 months old. I’ve put him down for three naps today and he’s been a nightmare to settle every time, crying, tossing and turning for around 20 minutes before finally falling asleep. He’s then slept for just 40 minutes per nap, so I’ve had barely any respite to relax or get anything done. It feels like so much effort and stress to settle him down for just 40 minutes of sleep!

I take him up for naps every 2.5 hours and I can see that he’s showing tiredness signals like rubbing his eyes. But as soon as I put him in his cot he will start crying and like I say, only sleep for one sleep cycle when he does finally settle. I wish I knew where the blissful two hour naps of old have gone.

Also, he woke from his last nap at 2pm today, so has just gone down for his last sleep of the day. I’m concerned that it’s too close to his bedtime (usually 7pm) but I could hardly keep him up for five hours (i.e. from 2-7pm) at his age.

I’m also weaning him following the Joe Wicks Wean in 15 method, which suggests introducing babies to bitter veg initially (such as broccoli and kale) before moving onto sweeter things like carrot and sweet potato. We’re still in the “bitter” phase and he has hated everything I’ve tried - he hasn’t even swallowed anything yet.

All the photos I’ve seen on Instagram show babies happily smearing food all over their faces and seemingly loving it, but DS just grimaces and refuses to eat anything. Where am I going wrong?

Where am I going wrong? comparing real life to Instagram is your first mistake.

Thanks. I’m really struggling here - has anyone got any more helpful advice?

Does he sleep better in the buggy? Being tied to cot only naps isn't great long term imo.
Buggy and the radio on worked for mine!

Does he sleep better in the buggy?

Only for one sleep cycle generally before waking. I’m exhausted!

Give him sweet potato and carrot.

Oh god yeah don’t worry about what you feed him just give him bits and bobs to try, either finger food or purée but honestly, don’t worry because they should get all their nutrients from milk anyway until 1.

Re the sleep...have you tried changing where he naps? Car, sling, pram? He sounds overtired and when they’re overtired they don’t settle and they don’t sleep for long, because babies are ridiculous best way to deal with it is break the cycle with a longer nap so they’re less tired for the next sleep.

@daisy86

Thanks. I’m really struggling here - has anyone got any more helpful advice?

I know you’re tired but that was a rude response to genuine advice. Comparing your life to social media is never a good idea.

At that age DS would only sleep longer than 40 mins ( one sleep cycle for him) if he was on me. It was another month or two before he was having a longer nap in his cot, his second of three in a day.

To achieve this I would go in a couple of mins before I was expecting him to wake and pat him back to sleep. It's took a little while before he started doing this but ultimately it probably wasn't reliable until he was on just two naps a day, which was about 9 months.

He was also always a cot napper, never slept in his buggy. Sometimes in the car.

If hes not swallowing then maybe change your method. It's obviously not working for you both and could lead to difficulties around eating. Following your instincts, theres no point keep giving him something he doesn't like. What about cauliflower, carrot or courgette?

Oh god yeah don’t worry about what you feed him

I read it’s best to start them on bitter vegetables so they don’t develop a sweet tooth. Which is why I’ve begun on things like broccoli, but he clearly hates them!

best way to deal with it is break the cycle with a longer nap

I wish I could but he keeps waking up after 40 minutes!

Throw away the books. Each child is different. Try him with nice foods carrot, mashed potato, cucumber. I have 3 under 4. Good days and bad days. You're doing an amazing job. Be nice to yourselfxxx

If hes not swallowing then maybe change your method. It's obviously not working for you both and could lead to difficulties around eating.

We’ve only been going a week - should he be swallowing by now?

I started my son on mango because he looked like he fancied it. He’s 3 now and he eats all sorts. Take the pressure off a bit and try him with a variety of foods

The nap I know feels insurmountable and when you’re knackered everything is worse but keep trying different things, white noise is great, buggy etc and at some point it will pass I promise.

Mine very seldom went into their cot for daytime naps. They would flake out in their bouncy chair, pram, car seat or on a play mat on the floor. Try not to be so rigid in your routine. They change so regularly that it seems very tying and pointless. Just get on with what you need to do, he'll slot into your routine rather than you trying to fit into his.

Lots of babies don’t swallow at first, he’s very new to it and still learning

Try not to be so rigid in your routine.

He was rubbing his eyes and looking tired though. So it really did look like he was ready for a nap!

Ditch social media and baby books. Babies have not read these books and don't give a jot about what's in them. Every baby is very much trial and error. Have you tried a baby carrier to see if that calms him and helps him through sleep cycles? My DD is 2 but the first 9 months of her life she napped in a baby carrier as she hated the cot and never settled. She now sleeps in a proper bed just fine.

I would suggest putting a few finger foods in front of him and seeing if there's anything he likes - mainly for him to play with the textures, different flavours, etc.

You can't make children not like chocolate by feeding them broccoli. Eventually they will taste chocolate and probably love it.

I think we started with root veg for the first. Second got a pouch of spaghetti bolognese for her first meal.

I think you are trying too hard to do feed him the 'perfect' way, I wouldn't overly worry about what vegetables you are feeding him as long as he is eating them. Feeding him sweet vegetables is in no way a bad thing, it's not like they are on a par with chocolate buttons !

Tbh I'd take anything Joe Wicks says about baby weaning with a very large pinch of salt. You can't prevent someone from developing a sweet tooth either.

Carrots and sweet potato are both healthy options. What's better: bitter veg that your baby refuses, or sweeter veg that your baby will actually eat?

Try sweet potato and veg purée combinations. My LO hated single tastes other than sweet potato. You could also try just giving him toast/banana/ cooked pasta to play with? Does your LO need just two naps? Sometimes if they won't nap we just power on to the next nap.

Like others have said parenting is HARD and you are doing a wonderful job

My kids stopped napping completely from the age of 11 months.

As someone suggested. Comparing to social media is never a good idea.

Plus I’d be wary of the bitter foods. You don’t want to give him constant bad memories. Kids do tend to dislike foods. But I’d have something sweet at some point.

When he starts rubbing his eyes, he's getting sleepy, but not necessarily ready to sleep. Put him in a bouncy chair or pram in the room you're in and get on with things/make a cuppa. Chances are when he's sleepy enough, you'll turn around and he'll be zonked out.

Joe Wicks is a personal trainer. He knows fuck all about weaning babies.

Mix your baby's food up (not literally). Give him carrots and broccoli. Banana and yoghurt. Sweet potato and beans. Cheese and apple

His sleep changing might just be a phase, they change so much in the first couple of years. I would try going in a few mins before he wakes like a PP suggested and rub his back or whatever you think might work to get him to go into the next sleep cycle. I use white noise for my youngest that has always helped.
I’d start giving him finger foods as well, don’t worry about bitter stuff versus sweet would be my advice. Just give him a big variety.
The other thing to consider is he may be getting stomach ache as he’s not used to food yet. My eldest had terrible stomach pain at first and the Consultant said we had to stop for a week, then start again, one food at a time.