Awful day with DS

[daisy86]

DS is just over 6 months old. I’ve put him down for three naps today and he’s been a nightmare to settle every time, crying, tossing and turning for around 20 minutes before finally falling asleep. He’s then slept for just 40 minutes per nap, so I’ve had barely any respite to relax or get anything done. It feels like so much effort and stress to settle him down for just 40 minutes of sleep!

I take him up for naps every 2.5 hours and I can see that he’s showing tiredness signals like rubbing his eyes. But as soon as I put him in his cot he will start crying and like I say, only sleep for one sleep cycle when he does finally settle. I wish I knew where the blissful two hour naps of old have gone.

Also, he woke from his last nap at 2pm today, so has just gone down for his last sleep of the day. I’m concerned that it’s too close to his bedtime (usually 7pm) but I could hardly keep him up for five hours (i.e. from 2-7pm) at his age.

I’m also weaning him following the Joe Wicks Wean in 15 method, which suggests introducing babies to bitter veg initially (such as broccoli and kale) before moving onto sweeter things like carrot and sweet potato. We’re still in the “bitter” phase and he has hated everything I’ve tried - he hasn’t even swallowed anything yet.

All the photos I’ve seen on Instagram show babies happily smearing food all over their faces and seemingly loving it, but DS just grimaces and refuses to eat anything. Where am I going wrong?

Oh also, small bits of banana are great if trying to get stuff done as they're so slippy it takes them ages to pick up and eat and they keep slipping out of their hands. You're welcome :-)

There was another thread on here recently about naps and a few people (I was one of them) suggested a sling. You can have a sit down when he's fallen asleep. On the food front I'd give him a selection of food to try.

Thanks so much for the advice. I will try him on some sweet potato tomorrow.

There is a lot of well meant advice on parenting which, instead of helping, undermines our confidence and increase our anxiety.

Have confidence in yourself, and your baby, that you can work out a life that works for you. Experiment, be happy to keep things that work and happy to scrap things that don't.

Whatever you wean him on now, will not matter one jot as his taste buds will tell him what he likes just as yours do.

Dare to be imperfect!

My LO will only sleep for one sleep cycle at a time. I did find her sleep got a bit worse when we started weaning. She also went down to two naps at about 7 months. Could that be it? We also followed joe wicks but quite quickly introduced yoghurt (which she loves) and less bitter things like avocado, cucumber etc.

I mashed up some banana and started ds on that. I can assure u he's a great eater now (age 2) and isn't fussy. Likes his veg. If the whole 'starting with bitter veg' thing isn't working for your child then just give up on it and try something new rather than ploughing on. If your child is a first baby can they nap on you? I know it's not for everyone but it worked for us up until ten months and again my ds sleeps well independently now / zero problems. Good luck.

Sorry you've had a tough day! All babies have some days when naps are a battle. Mine battled against naps a lot - a sling, buggy walk or drive work on days when nothing else does.
And don't worry about food too much. One of mine had a great eating instinct and wolfed down everything while my younger one took much longer to work out swallowing. Just keep offering a variety of tastes and he'll get there in his own time.

Bless you, babies and parenting are bloody hard work some days years
I remember ds turning into a devil baby literally overnight between 6 and 7 months. It got so bad I contemplated taking him to the gp as I thought something must be wrong! I also remember the anxiety about getting it right with your first

Fwiw, ds didn't swallow anything until about 1 year old. We had months of him screaming and refusing to either swallow or spit it out. He had palate issues in hindsight, as well as a tongue tie which regrew I believe. And he only napped in the sling and only 45mins at a time. Dd wolfed food down at 5 months and only napped in the buggy (and dropped this before 1yo the little darling). They're all different. I hope tomorrow is better

How the hell does anyone think that weaning a baby with bitter stuff he doesn't like, will turn him on to a healthy diet?
The plan should be, food he likes; because then he will want to eat it. He'll be happy to have it in his mouth, and swallow it. That means, an appealing taste and texture. Like stewed apple, or mashed banana, or mashed potato, or mashed carrot. Or baby rice. You know you're winning at weaning when he sees the spoonful of yummy food coming and eagerly opens his mouth like a little bird.

  When he enjoys spoon food enough to eat it, the extra calories will   help him sleep. At 6 months he's beginning to expend more energy, even if it's just waving kicking and wriggling. If he's mobile, rolling or  crawling,   bouncing,  he's doing baby work and  burning more calories.    Do HELP him to eat ; by all means give him a spoon and let him stick mush in his ear,   but while he's doing that, you have your spoon working in tandem  and make sure some gets into his mouth.  Otherwise he will just end up hungry and frustrated , rather than happy and satisfied.
  Once he associates eating with pleasure and easy swallowing , then gradually, slowly  start widening  the range of foods  and textures. There's no rush,  no timetable, its not a race.  If he doesn't ltake to   spinach or turnip, well plenty of adults feel the same way and nobody  expects them to eat food they  don't enjoy.  
       He's getting to an age where, when you notice he's drooping,  you can make little routines  that signal  "time for sleep ".   Particular music or a song, a special soft blanket or toy. (even if its daytime and he's in his seat or on a playmat)   At (night) bedtime,   bath and milk,  into bedroom. say goodnight to the  streetlights, close the curtains,  into cot, turn off the light  and  say goognight baby.   Do the same every time.

I don't have much advise but I just want to handhold with you as my boy is 8 months old now and since 4 months old he will only sleep for 30 minutes if he's not on my lap. I can almost time it to the second. The only way he will sleep for longer is if I rock him, let him fall asleep on me in the nursing chair, then I listen to an audiobook or watch Netflix on my phone with my headphones in until the 30 minutes have passed, then he does a little stir and goes back off. I then put him in his cot and sometimes he has another 30 minutes, sometimes an hour. Either way, he is much happier for it and it makes the next nap better, and then the third nap I deliberately put him down straight away so he only has 30 mins and is tired enough for bed. It is the bane of my life. Why don't these babies sleep for the hour and half they need ffs? I've cried over it.

You're not alone with this.

@Bunnybigears

Where am I going wrong? comparing real life to Instagram is your first mistake.

This is bloody brilliant advice. Don’t dismiss it OP. Comparison is the thief of joy. Do you really think that people are honest about their lives on social media.

Why on earth are you listening to Joe Wicks. So sick of these celebs having a baby then passing themselves off as experts. He’s making a killing off it too.

My DD didn't start to eat food until she was about 8m old. She just wasn't interested before then. I was worried at the time as it's drummed into you that it should be 6m. I just went with the flow, gave her things like soft carrots, scrambled eggs, yoghurts, banana etc. She's now 2 and yet to find a food she won't eat.

I can't help with the sleep but I understand the weaning issue.

I was beating myself up about it having recently starting to wean my baby, I did an NCT course that basically said single foods, preferably veg, has to be baby led. And my son didn't eat anything for weeks. Absolutely anything I give him goes straight in his mouth except any time I put finger food in front of him. I just don't understand it.

Basically I gave up and he is now having totally puréed mixed food (like broccoli, cheese and leek together etc) but is actually swallowing and enjoying it which surely is what it's all about! I've got the Ella's kitchen book and find it quite good.

My best friends baby absolutely loves a piece of steamed broccoli to munch on, I guess every baby is different so there's no way joe wicks book would suit everyone.

Try calpol about 15 mins before you attempt to put him down for a nap ( if it's a possibility it could be teething) and see if that makes a difference tomorrow. Teething makes them so uncomfortable even when we can't really see it happening.

Secondly, Joe Wicks says what?! That's such awful advice, especially when it's so untrue! As if raising babies isn't hard enough already. You can't manipulate what types of food a baby prefers by only feeding them bitter food first, once they've had the sweet stuff they'll just want that anyway. What difference does the timing make? It's supposed to be a balance, not all or nothing - all or nothing causes the problems!

OP, you're doing an amazing job - naps will most likely return. I used to drive myself crazy trying to follow books and fads, I hate to hear when others are doing the same.

Baby’s got through cat napping phases. They suck! They also pass. Every time you think you’ve nailed their sleep routine, they’ll shake it up. Baby sleep is literally up and down for the whole first year. I tell you this only so you don’t despair that this bump in the road is forever. The two hour naps will return (then probably disappear a few more times but come back each time too!).

If it’s not teething, it’s a developmental leap, a clock change, a temperature change, illness, a sleep regression. Baby sleep is literally all over the place. I know it’s not helpful, but honestly, just ride it out and try not to worry that sleek is ruined forever. Everything really is just a phase.

Secondly, Joe Wicks says what?! That's such awful advice, especially when it's so untrue!

This is what I read: www.thebodycoach.com/blog/wean-in-15:-what-foods-to-offer-baby-first-1223.html

Since time began I'm sure no one has weaned their child on bitter vegetables and we didn't all grow up refusing everything except lard laden foods. A complete 'healthy' diet that as adults we aspire to is not for babies. For your own sanity, just stick with banana or mashed potato for now so baby can experience a different texture. Baby will pick up on your anxieties so above all try to relax which I know is easier said than done.. I would have said teething as well. No comparisons to happy smeared babies! I bet that's not smeared broccoli either.

To be fair it says “green and bitter” for the first week only, then introducing more sweet veggies.

Sometimes babies fight naps, instead of fighting my baby fighting a nap I just get them up and try next nap. Some days taht will happen, think of all the developmental stuff they have going on!
How about two naps a day with awake times of 3.5 hours?

Also regarding your own food, sometimes you have to find your own way. If he's not eating butter veg try something else like sweet potato and carrot, if he doesn't eat this (my toddler wouldn't, but my current baby did) then try sweet stuff like apple etc. I figured some food is better than none. My kid eats lots of savoury stuff at nearly 3 so weaning wasn't a massive problem. He's still a fussy toddler though, but aren't they all?!

Teetha granules are basically nothing (homeopathic means the active ingredient is diluted so much there's nothing left). I'd recommend baby ibuprofen or paracetamol instead. This is totally normal for babies to have bad days when teething or when they have a cold, or to change where they will or won't sleep as they get older so don't worry that you're doing something wrong. I'm sure both of my DDs had a phase of 40 minute naps at some point.

Joe Wicks has two children, only one of which it looks like he has actually weaned. If you want to read some advice around weaning, I'd suggest someone that has a bit more a track record!

My youngest wouldn't eat anything at all till 7 months; at 9, he will eat anything. Literally anything. He loves all fruit and veg - it's certainly not hindered his taste buds to be slow to wean.

Re naps - could you try maybe leaving him on a play mat and just closing curtains so it's darker? I never did the naps in a bedroom (sometimes but not all the time) and just let them nap wherever and whenever.

Teetha granules are basically nothing (homeopathic means the active ingredient is diluted so much there's nothing left). I'd recommend baby ibuprofen or paracetamol instead.

@UnbeatenMum Ok thanks. He’s almost asleep now but I will try some Calpol tomorrow morning.

I remember crying when DD was 7 months because I was failing so badly at weaning. Literal breakdown and sobbing.

She's now nearly 2 and eats everything and anything. Regularly asks for more.

Relax, he's got ages to get into it. He'll get all his nutrients from milk for a good while yet.