Awful day with DS

[daisy86]

DS is just over 6 months old. I’ve put him down for three naps today and he’s been a nightmare to settle every time, crying, tossing and turning for around 20 minutes before finally falling asleep. He’s then slept for just 40 minutes per nap, so I’ve had barely any respite to relax or get anything done. It feels like so much effort and stress to settle him down for just 40 minutes of sleep!

I take him up for naps every 2.5 hours and I can see that he’s showing tiredness signals like rubbing his eyes. But as soon as I put him in his cot he will start crying and like I say, only sleep for one sleep cycle when he does finally settle. I wish I knew where the blissful two hour naps of old have gone.

Also, he woke from his last nap at 2pm today, so has just gone down for his last sleep of the day. I’m concerned that it’s too close to his bedtime (usually 7pm) but I could hardly keep him up for five hours (i.e. from 2-7pm) at his age.

I’m also weaning him following the Joe Wicks Wean in 15 method, which suggests introducing babies to bitter veg initially (such as broccoli and kale) before moving onto sweeter things like carrot and sweet potato. We’re still in the “bitter” phase and he has hated everything I’ve tried - he hasn’t even swallowed anything yet.

All the photos I’ve seen on Instagram show babies happily smearing food all over their faces and seemingly loving it, but DS just grimaces and refuses to eat anything. Where am I going wrong?

Take no notice of the 'introduce them to bitter so they don't want sweet stuff later' nonsense. DS's first meals were baby rice, pureed carrot, pureed pear and pureed apple. His favourite veg as a toddler was broccoli and brussels sprouts and he's always hated chocolate.

Just feed him what he enjoys and mix the rest in as you introduce more flavours. My friend's boy loved broccoli with apple puree! Whatever works.

Hello one possibility is he's hungry so not slkepibg as long ud he's refusing to swallow foods. Also do you eat kale etc as babies often prefer what we ate when in womb. I'm personally using gina ford's weaning book my son is 6 months been weaning since 5.5 we started on baby porridge then did pear carrot beans etc. He refused veg first day bt always ate in second. Could you try mixing the food with a bit if porridge if baby rice start with a very small ratio at first then build up to more if the veg than rice/porridge. Also could he be teething? I found a week or two before my son started properly teething his sleep went weird. I really recommend the weleda chamomilla granules from Holland and barret work wonders for naturally soothing an irritated baby from teething etc I give my son them during bad teething episodes and he really relaxes and ends up having a good nap if it's around sleep time. Hope this helps

Have you checked his gums? He could be teething.

I never got more than 40 minutes nap from mine until she was after 1yo - I think you've been lucky up to now!

On weaning, baby has had lovely sweet milk until now and suddenly is faced with broccoli? Yeah I'd be spitting that out too (and I say that as a vegetarian who loves broccoli!) Give him what you've got to hand - there's nothing wrong with a wide range of fruit and veg, different dairy sources, different meat or fish. Make it easy on yourself.

At 6 months I'd expect him to be having three naps a day, so every 2.5 hours sounds a bit too frequent to me.

If he doesn't like kale and broccoli now it doesn't mean he won't like it later. Dgs is now sixteen months and it's only in the last few weeks he will eat apples, pears and mango where he has loved every veg offered. I'd try carrot, swede or butternut squash because you would be better off him having a positive experience of food than following Joe Wicks advice at any cost.

I also used gina’s weaning book - worked a treat.

By 6 months, both of mine napped 9-9.45ish, 12.30-2.30. They had dropped their afternoon nap except for maybe 20 mins shut eye if we were out in the car/buggy.

Sorry - 4 months - 8 months mine couldn't do more than 30 mins - you could set your watch by her. She just couldn't link sleep cycles unless she's was in the car or pram. That doesn't help you at all, only I think it's normal and just a phase!

At 6 months I'd expect him to be having three naps a day, so every 2.5 hours sounds a bit too frequent to me.

Every 2.5 hours is 3 naps a day, if you count nighttime as 7-7!

Yes, I think he might be teething as he’s quite irritable at the moment, dribbling a lot and putting everything he possibly can into his mouth (except food ironically!) He has plenty of teething toys and I tried him on those Teetha granules earlier, but they didn’t seem to have much effect.

6m is very early to actually swallow food; as long as he's experiencing texture etc that's enough. He's getting all of his nutrients through milk

As for naps, very common I'm afraid. I would try experimenting with putting him down slightly earlier and see if it makes a difference. By the time he is rubbing his eyes he may be overtired. Have you tried a blackout blind and white noise machine? Don't stress too much, at this age I was almost always feeding or rocking to sleep. My 3yo sleeps like a dream now so no harm done.

By 6 months, both of mine napped 9-9.45ish, 12.30-2.30. They had dropped their afternoon nap except for maybe 20 mins shut eye if we were out in the car/buggy.

That sounds ideal.

Yes, I have a white noise app which I use fairly loud, which seems to help.

I had to Google Joe Wicks, and I still can't work out what he has to do with weaning (but I'm now old).

OP, some days are just very, very, very trying with babies and children. This is one of them. You'll have a better day just when it all feels impossible.

For what it's worth (my DC are all 16+ now, so it's a bit dim and distant), a few thoughts:

You will fuss a lot about what your first child is eating. Your second and subsequent children will be weaned on cheesy Wotsits and unspeakable things that they find on the floor of Soft Play Hell. That being the case, I'd compromise with carrot, sweet potato, pear, bits of whatever you're having, mushed up, etc.

I'd change the naps so they are along the lines mentioned by Kingscote. Those timings are more or less what I did with mine.

And please don't, ever, compare yourself with anything anyone puts on the internet.

Butternut squash puréed up was a bit hit with mine when they were weaning. Also carrot, sweet potato, swede, peas. I think the bitter before sweet thing is a bit misleading tbh- they are still vegetables at the end of the day! My DC eats every vegetable going and isn't picky so I think it's a bit of a myth/thing that people say that aren't necessarily realistic about sensible food choices.

Also Anbesol gel is great if he is struggling with teething- over the counter at the pharmacy.

Bless you. If you're tired.. and he's tired.. just put some crap tv on, let him fall asleep on your chest and just stay there until he wakes.. cuddle time and a rest in one xxx

Regarding the weaning thing: definitely give sweet potato, carrot, butternut squash etc. I firmly do not believe that trying to ‘trick’ a baby into eating broccoli and peas first is going to create a non fussy eater. It’s a nice idea but doesn’t add up in real life in my opinion.

Also, eventually try adding grated cheese or yoghurt to purées where you think the flavours would mix well to make them more palatable.

Good luck and don’t be too hard on yourself!

@paulhollywoodshairgel

Bless you. If you're tired.. and he's tired.. just put some crap tv on, let him fall asleep on your chest and just stay there until he wakes.. cuddle time and a rest in one xxx

Absolutely agree with this.

Please don't be hard on yourself. I'd stay off instagram for a week- I think you'll find you're much happier without it.

My kids are adult now and I still remember how tough that stage was. We used to start weaning with mashed banana or carrots - don't they do that now?

Also my DS has never eaten kale, very rarely eaten broccoli and doesn't like chocolate, sweets or fizzy drinks. So Wicks' theory is bollocks.

I really object to men making women feel bad about raising children. 6 months is a hard age. Sometimes babies won't sleep even when they're tired but if your baby is hungry then that won't help.

If you want to get jobs done etc, I can recommend the fisher price sit me up chair, best thing I brought after my little one grew out of the bouncy chair.

My first was definitely a baby that didn’t read the manual, she would have laughed in Joe Wicks’ face!

For us naps were either catnaps on my lap after breastfeeding or a longer nap in the baby carrier. She wouldn’t “go down” for a nap until she was about 8 months old. So yeah no “sleeping while the baby sleeps” for me. But adjusting my expectations around her schedule rather than what she was supposed to be doing definitely helped.

Weaning was fun and games too. She refused to be spoon fed and didn’t ingest more than a mouthful of anything for ages. I read somewhere that it’s your responsibility to provide good, nutritious food, it’s their choice what to do with it. By 10 months something clicked and she would eat absolutely anything. Until 18 months when the toddler fussiness kicked in but that’s another story...

That’s all a very long-winded way of saying: be guided by your baby, trust your instincts and stay off bloody Instagram!

I’d be over the moon if my baby gave me 40 minutes x 3 to myself each day! She only sleeps on me or in the sling, so any practical me time is only in the evenings. Honestly you’re doing well, even if it doesn’t seem like it. That’s 40 minutes to have a cup of tea and do whatever you want.

I'd definitely ditch that weaning advice- it sounds like rubbish! The first solid food my now 3yo ate was pear and she is one of the least fussy eaters out of all the kids I know! She eats anything and everything no trouble.

Naps are trickier. I think you need to break the pattern you are currently in by forcing a longer nap. I'd do either an epic walk so he drops off in the buggy/carrier or a drive. Aim to get him to sleep for a good couple of hours. If he's anything like mine, you will have to remain in motion for the entire time! I'd do it for a few days to try to catch up as it sounds like he may be over-tired. Once he's a bit more refreshed, it may well be easier to get him to nap in his cot. A few other thoughts - 6mo is prime growth spurt time - is he hungry? Extra milk? How is he reacting to solids? Both mine got constipated so just keep an eye on nappies as his tummy could be sore. Teething you've mentioned and that can be a nightmare. Also babies often do just go through crap sleep phases. I honestly thought my 3yo would never ever sleep in her life as she was terrible at napping and woke throughout the night. She now sleeps 12 hours no trouble and bedtime is very quick/ easy. You'll get through this!

The bitter stuff is just a theory, there's no real evidence behind it and, frankly, by the time they get to a year, you'd be hard pushed to tell who had which first food. For what it's worth, DS loved kale to start with. All he's eaten today is a yogurt, a banana and a couple of crisps that he managed to sneak in before I realised he'd worked out how to open the packet. All his veggies went on the floor while he demanded dry cereal (which he then refused to eat).

Re naps, I'm impressed you're putting him down at all. DS only napped on me or in the bouncy chair until 9 months. Just keep repeating to yourself that this is a phase and it will pass. His sleep got much better when he dropped to 1 nap at 11 months and now it's a consistent 1.5. - 2 hours in the middle of the day.

Joe wicks wrote that book because he had a catchy title... He knows sweet fuck all about weaning babies other than what he has done with his own.
Put the book down, definitely put Instagram down. The only way I could get a decent nap out of my ds was to let him nap on me. He's never napped in his cot at home and he's now 2. At nursery, he naps in the cot/on their bed things quite happily. He knows I'm a soft touch and I just see that he needs the cuddles.
Let it go. It's all a phase and will get better.

My only advice is that every rubbish phase with kids will pass. Not advice really but just something to remember when it's hard. I also stressed a lot about food with mine and it's one thing I regret as everything just has a habit of working out without it being forced, like who cares which veg they try first? Not wanting to slate Joe wicks but it's just tosh to sell books! Carrot and sweet potato are healthy and tasty, give those a go!