Toddler and newborn support thread?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

For some reason I thought this would be doable.

DD is now 8 days old and DS is just 2.

Holy moly what was I thinking.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I'd love some company.

Morning all,
Feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning. 2 weeks in and I can't seem to get on with breastfeeding at all. I think I may have a problem as it's super tender and painful when he latches. But the hv is coming today so will ask for some help and advice!
Ds1 woke at 5am. He usually manages 7-7 so I know he is out of sorts right now. He didn't even want a cuddle which is unusual for him. I just stayed with him until he calmed down, poor thing.

@OhToBeAseahorse you poor thing! It did make me chuckle though, thank you for that!!

Re slings, I bought a cheap one last time that is great for just throwing on and ds2 seems quite happy in it ( although also dont know how to breastfeed with it on either!) But the best purchase I made was a connecta carrier. It was great. Not bulky and had a strap to help with holding newborns. It sat on my shoulders really well without hurting. I sold it last year but will buy another one when the funds allow!

@Aria999 great advice and really helps to put things into perspective!

@Fatted I hear what your saying. Dh has been great caring for ds1. DH goes back to work tomorrow. He's got a new job after being made redundant in the summer. He's had to take holiday instead of unpaid pay leave. Would love for him to be home a bit longer. I just don't feel ready yet!

@lemonpink88 welcome! Nursery 2 days a week is also a life line here! Feel very lucky that they have remained open so far during covid.

How's everyone getting on?

Just read this entire thread after a terrible night and it’s giving me life. Can I join in too? I have a 3yo and an 8 week old. Both girls. Looooord give me strength!

8 week old had her jabs yesterday and it was a scream fest. Last night I was on my knees, finally got her settled about midnight only for her to wake up screaming at 2am. Finally settled again at about 3:30am only for DD1 to wake up shouting for me at 5am. The clock change proper f*cked us! 🙈

I knew logically that two would be hard but I was hoping DD2 would be this mythical easy potato baby I’d been told about... Feel like my mum and aunties sold me a lie haha.

Feel like DD1 just spends all day watching CBeebies and playing CBeebies apps on the iPad while I firefight things around the house. During term time she goes to preschool 8:30-11:30 but that time goes by in a blink!

Morning colds eased today and toddler didn't settle until 11pm last night but then didn't wake until 8 this morning so feeling almost refreshed! So far we've watched 3 episodes of the baby club on cbeebies- we have to play along with with whats in the bag and blowing the bubbles!

@TipTopJ glad the cold is easing. I meant to post this earlier but when I feel run down, I take a vitamin booster. I tried one called metatone which I got from boots and have seen it in superdrug too. It's got vit b12 in it and just seems to give me a bit more energy when I'm poorly. Hope you feel better soon!

@milknapplayrepeat well done on getting through the night!! Especially after jabs! We also have cbeebies on repeat. Hey dougie is a firm favourite

Hey duggie on here all day too. Especially rainy days like these.
I feel a tad guilty but there’s not a lot I can even go out to without needing to pre ok weeks in advanced which just isn’t possible

I’m on day 2 of the worst constant headache I’ve had in a long time.
About to give in to some codeine but I’m breastfeeding 😭

It’s also nearly 11am and baby hasn’t napped yet today.
Damn toddler keeps waking her as soon as she gets sleepy.
I’m so past tired I haven’t got the energy to even be angry

Toddler also didn’t make it to the toilet in time this morning and I was feeding baby so ended up weeing al over the bathroom floor.
It was first wee of the day so massive and flowed into the bathroom cupboard so I’ve had to remove everything it got to and clean it all down.

Today is not a good day.

I also saw a photo of myself from 4 months ago when baby was only 4 weeks old and I look so much better back then. How does that even happen?

My hair has fallen out so much and I just look so terrible

@saiditbetterthanme Paracetamol and ibuprofen are your friends. Any visible.nip damage? Any chance you could have nipple thrush?

@Onedropbeat I'm sorry you're having one of those days even worse now its not as easy to get out.

I had a glorious moment last week when I was feeding the baby, the toddler was cuddled next to me watching TV and the house was just calm and still. It lasted 2 minutes until I saw the cat squating to take a crap on the baby mat! Cue almost throwing the baby down to get off the sofa and of course neither would settle afterwards!!!!

Hello my people
Joining here with my 3yo and nearly 1yo. There's 25months between my two.
Its been a hell of a year! Tbh the baby is a dream and sleeps well (thanks God cos DS1 still doesn't) but hes a very active baby and my wrists and arms ache from carrying him, squirming away from impending doom.

Older boy is hard work. Very very active and can be impatient and prone to tantrums. But amazingly clever and suuuuuch a funny sweetheart when he wants to be. And luckily he loves his brother and weve nit had much jealousy.

Baby has spent the majority of his life breastfeeding, attached to me, either in the sling or in the bed.i love him so much and am soaking in the final baby moments but I look forward to having some freedom and, yknow, sex with DP would be nice at some point.

Does anyone else find the stress of keeping your place tidy over whelming? I'm the opposite of a neat freak but our flat is just a tip, despite tidying and sleeping and wiping and moving toys from place to place all day long.

@MaizeBlouse welcome! I've the same age gap as you but I'm at the start of my journey.

I need advice please!! Today DH and I took the children to an attraction about a 10 minute drive away. Here is how it went:

• baby fed at 12 then slept in sling
• toddler slept til 2.45, we got there late but no matter
• baby slept til nearly 4 and then needed a feed. But - she was in a stretchy wrap sling with my coat over her, I couldnt feed her outside, so I had to go inside to feed her while DH looked after DS.

How do I possibly go out with both of them if baby needs a feed!?

OP congratulations on arrival of your little one! In regards to feeding out & about, it is a tricky with naps & older one. I guess ur youngest is still very new but as time moves on, my youngest is 4 months now & I have a one year old I manipulate the youngests feeds & sleeps to fit older ds. In the early weeks tho I guess it’s not possible yet. Failing that try not to think about it to much & just feed on the hoof. I tend to go to places on my own I know I can feed ds & supervise older like our local playground or child friendly cafe nearby.

Thank you! It just scares me because there is nowhere outside that is safe - DS is lightning quick and can open the park gate.

I'm just so fed up of the weather.

P.s. 4 months and a one year old!? How!? I'm in awe!

Ugh your right this weather is the actual worst! How are we meant to entertain them! That’s a shame about the park gate, how frustrating. Does he always try to escape?!
Don’t be in awe, Iv just spent the last half hour crying to DH about how theyv driven me crazy this afternoon & im not sure motherhoods for me!

Oh god me neither! Certainly toddlerhood isnt!

He is happy in the swing, just dont know if I can feed and swing!

Oh god I took both of mine to the park earlier in the double buggy. Left one screaming while I charged off after the toddler who ran head first into a merry go round being pushed violently by big kids nearly knocking him out.

Do you bf OP? I feed the baby whilst he's in the sling (I have average sized boobs so maybe would be tricky if you have big boobs) and he also will nap in the sling too, less often now hes nearly 1 much to my dismay!

This way I can still be out and about with older.boy whilst baby gets feeds and sleeps in.

My world also became quite small for a while though, covid aside, as we adjusted.

@MaizeBlouseyes I do - which sling did you use to feed with?

I use the ergobaby 360. I just have him forward facing as usual but lengthen the straps a bit, it takes a bit of practice and both finding a comfy position but is really useful when you hone it

Oh dear@Daisy1980a! I haven't braved play parks yet. Walks on reins or off them in open spaces is all I do. Kudos for having a go!

Thanks! I have a Moby wrap and a Baby Bjorn. How do you deal with your clothes? I suppose minimal clothes underneath and then a big coat?

I usually wear a vest top underneath a t shirt. So pull down the vest top and pull up the t shirt so boob is out. Then a cardigan or jacket on top. My sling also had a little rain hood to I will pop that up too sometimes.

Can I just tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Mine are now primary age and they are each other’s best friend. They go off and play away all afternoon quite happily. They will fall out and fight but within minutes are laughing away.

Activities are easier as they aren’t at completely different stages. Holidays are also so much easier.

It will get better, just hang in there!

Can I join? I have a 3 year old and 6 week old. My goddess it’s harder than I imagined! My toddler has SEN and doesn’t understand or follow instructions so to say the days he’s not at nursery are challenging is sugar coating it! My DH is brilliant but I think we’re both finding it a lot harder than we expected

@BigBigPumpkin, it could be. The left boob is definitely cracked and sore (tmi!! Sorry everyone!!)I did talk to the hv about it. She was lovely but not terribly helpful. She just said breastfeeding is tough, it hurts but you have to get on with it and gave me a video to watch.
I'm persevering but the pain hasn't left.
Yesterday my DH went back to work. I dont think 2 weeks pat leave is enough! Today I managed to get out of the house with newborn and toddler. Newborn didnt nap all afternoon. Managed to get ds1 to bed who was then woken up by the fireworks. I think we were all crying at that point!
Yesterday a water pipe burst in the local area and we are still without water now. So cross that the provider doesn't see children as a priority so won't deliver any water.

@PapsofJura that is so reassuring! It definitely feels relentless right now and I'm cross at myself for not enjoying it more.

@LBB2020 that sounds super tough!
Hope you guys are ok!