Toddler and newborn support thread?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

For some reason I thought this would be doable.

DD is now 8 days old and DS is just 2.

Holy moly what was I thinking.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I'd love some company.

Hi, I haven't come to join but to day that although it seems like a never-ending tunnel at the moment it does eventually get better!

There are 17 months between my dc and the first 6 months were awful! Dc 1 was lovely with dc 2 but he was only 17 months and was a little whirlwind. Dc 2 had reflux and cried all day long! I couldn't go anywhere because naps were so regimented and although they had a joint nap from 1-3pm every day so I got a bit of peace it felt like I was chained to that schedule. When dc 2 was a baby that winter, back in 2012, was a very long and cold one where we had days and days of being snowed in: we only had 1 car that dh took to work and pushing a pushchair in the snow is next to impossible so I too felt lonely and isolated.

It started to improve as dc 2 got older: each step towards more independence, such as sitting up unaided, eating more solid food, crawling and walking and being able to play with toys, was a step towards things getting easier.

Because the age gap is so small my dc played together and got on really well. It also meant I didn't have to sit and play with them for long periods of time because they could entertain each other.

Now at 8 & 9 they are so much less demanding and that time is just a distant memory. They share interests and friends, play together, sit and chat and are generally lovely with each other (they do argue and fall out but not that often). I'm glad they're close in age.

That gives me hope.
We had our first screaming session from DD. Didnt get her down til 1am. She's now just fed for 30 mins and filled her nappy and of course was sick when I changed it. So now feeding her again. Toddler is awake
Oh lord.

Can I join please?! 7 day old and a 2.7 yo. Ds1 has always been boisterous and likes to be bossy etc. Hes such a wonderful boy but he is really struggling with the transition. I know it's early days but I feel like I can't give him everything he needs right now and I feel awful. Doesn't help that the baby blues are really strong this time round. I'm either feeding the newborn or crying! The hormones are horrible! My DH goes back to work next week and I just dont know how I'll cope. I dont feel like I am recovering as well this time and my stitches feel very sore still.
I keep taking things one day at a time and I'm still working on the connections in my brain that recognise I have 2 children now, not one!

Oh hugs @saiditbetterthanme. How is today going?

Anyone else struggling with putting the baby down? She basically has permanent cuddles atm which is lovely but impractical

Ah marvellous that this has popped up after I've just had a massive sob at being fed up of being pregnant and wishing DS was here to make it "easier". Currently 32 weeks and my DD will be 15 month when he's due.

My back is breaking, I'm so tired and up from 3/4am every day with raging heartburn. I can't run around after DD as it is cause I'm so massive and sore! Feel like a horrendous mother as DD is currently being raised by little baby bum!

Just gonna tell myself you're all having a bad day and it's actually really lovely, and you all feel fine physically and being able to have a wine at the end of the day makes it all ok 😂🙈🙈!!

@ToxicTracey oh i'm definitely less tired than I was when I was pregnant! And the wine tastes amazing! Do stay though- I'm hoping this thread will stay around!

@OhToBeASeahorse haha ok well there are some positives to look forward to right there! I'll definitely stay around, unless you all say how awful it is then I'm going to hide this and not return until January when I can join in with the horrors of double sleep deprivation! I had such a lovely time with DD who was luckily a great sleeper so hoping DS will be the same and we will have some time to recover & catch up on sleep when DD is in nursery!

Hi! I was in the Same boat.

Now they’re 2.5 and 1 years old.

I got great news for u! It gets easier.

Be very very rigid about your routine. I had almost non existent help and it wasn’t easy

But when your newborn develops a routine you can try structure ur day better.

For now just relax and try recover.

Gina Ford (controversial I know) has a book on baby and toddler routines which were guidelines for us but not followed it strictly myself

Nice to hear the positive stories! I really can't wait to be there.

@saiditbetterthanme Hormones are so powerful! Especially in the period you're in. I had tears for the first three weeks (occasionally in front of DC1 too). Hope today has been better.

Also, DC1 hated DC2 crying but now 13 weeks in tries to entertain her by showing her his toys. He's still not her biggest fan and anytime we bring DC2 close to DC1 for kiss or cuddle he says "no more, no more" 😆

Today has been better here no major tantrums and just 30mins of crying from baby when she was over tired - which is an improvement! and we think her witching hour crying May be over 🤞

Oh I’m so glad to find you lot! My two are currently 2.5 and 12 weeks. Some days are ok, some are a nightmare. I started out with no childcare, very quickly signed DS1 up for preschool and luckily he absolutely loves it - goes two days now, I’m going to increase to three when his free hours kick in. Some days I’m really struggling, and I don’t know whether I should be worried that I have PND or whether it’s just a normal reaction to a really hard situation.

The things I have found that work:

• going outside (even if it seems like a logistical nightmare, toddler is easier and happier in the garden/park)
• baths. Pouring toys are banned due to emptying of the bath. Random toys work though - he played with three green Pom poms for almost an hour (whilst I ignored the bath water turning green)
• arty crafty stuff. I bought one of those paper rolls from IKEA, tape it to the whole length of the kitchen table and provide him with some paint, a box of sequins, foam shapes etc, and some glue. I refer to it as creating mixed media collages and pretend I’m going to live off his fame
• 100% a decent sling. I’ve got a Mamaruga Zensling this time - it’s soft and snuggly for a baby but is a super quick buckle to put on.

@OhToBeASeahorse it's been ok. Tonight my DH let me sleep 5 hours which was wonderful but I felt awful that I hadn't feed newborn and I'm struggling with breastfeeding as it is. Does anyone else struggle with breast feeding?
Baby blues seem to be on their way out thankfully! I'm trying to get on with things and DH is a great help.
Today we managed a food shop. I felt good getting out if the house!
I've just watched the clocks go back an hour. Haha it's going to be a long night!!

@WeSearchedHereWesearchedThere

Great list! My ds loves the bath. Things I get him to help with are washing up. He has his own bowl and will was his toys next to me.
Folding washing. He usually just puts the folded clothes in the right room (or anywhere he fancies!)
We get the playdoh out a lot atm.
Hide and seek has been a fun game recently too.

@op meant to ask, how are you getting on?

Hi everyone! I'm new here, have a 2 year and 4 month old DD and a 2 week old DS. Currently doing ok in the daytime but with far, far too much TV for DD and I think I'm going to have to cold turkey her next week 😬 because she's been so tantrum-prone and I think the TV is partly to blame.

So far, DS is a dream in the daytime as he is nocturnal, so naps in his Moses basket for a few hours each day while DD and I do our thing. Unfortunately, he also keeps me up all night!

Ah breastfeeding can be tough- are there any help sessions going on around you?
I'm still trying to work out how to put the newborn down...

DD is starting to act up a bit - especially with food throwing. I need to bet better at playing games with him, some.great ideas on here.

We have a Moby wrap which is good but still takes me a little while to put on. I found the Baby Bjorn good with DS. Also trying to work out how on earth I feed out and about...

Hey everyone, how are we all doing? It’s raining here which is a nightmare as I normally try and get out of the house first thing, so the day isn’t so loooonnng, but can’t face it which means it’s 11am and have already put the TV on.
Hahaha at @ToxicTracey my DD1 is obsessed with Little Baby Bum and that is what is in right now but it is the soundtrack to mine and my husband’s nightmares we hear the tunes so much.

I struggled with breastfeeding first time around and mixed fed my son but has been a different experience with number two. I beat myself up and now with number two realise it’s not my fault and some babies are just easier to breastfeed whatever the experts and midwives tell you.

I struggle to put DD2 down as well and she is in and out of our bed all night at the moment so absolutely shattered with huge bags under my eyes.

Thanks to those who said it gets easier - holding on to that and praying nurseries don’t close again.

@Daisy1980a

We're doing OK thanks. Raining here too but we've been out and back again thankfully. Rain cover on the pram for the newborn DS and hat, coat, wellies and splash trousers for toddler DD. Thankfully, DS sleeps well in the pram (never would have gotten away with it with DD)! Unfortunately, DD found some massive puddles that overwhelmed her wellies so ended up with soaking socks. Hopefully getting them both down for a nap shortly- wish me luck!

They're both down! Hurrah!!

Well done! I put toddler down too early I think, he is still awake. DD is asleep in the Sleepyhead.

Well done @BigBigPumpkin! We had some good naps here as well although DD2 managed to break through her snuzpod zip trying to roll into our bed. Forgot how long these things last for...

Have some waterproof trousers on order - looks like we’re gonna need them this autumn

Hi can I join too please, I've been watching the lockdown toddler thread and saw this one mentioned. I've got a 23 month old, a 3 month old and a husband who works away half the week so things are very full on at the moment!

Hey, how is everyone getting on? Newborn has been cluster feeding loads and it looks like the baby blues are on there way out (phew, I forgot how horrible they were!)
DS is off to nursery today. He's still getting used to the new baby but yesterday he came downstairs to say goodnight and gave the baby a kiss too, which was lovely.
It's a bit drier here today so will try and get out for a walk to see if I can get ds2 used to the pram!

I’m 5 months in

God knows how I got here. It’s been a blur

Toddler is pure mayhem

I’m hiding in bed with baby as I type

I've found my people! My 7 week old was born 4 days after my eldest's second birthday. Some days I think I've got it under control (ish) but there have been a few nightmare days where I've wondered what the hell we were thinking. My 2 year old's speech is a bit delayed which is an added layer of fun/difficulty. He's wonderful but full on, headstrong and uncompromising. So grateful that we're still tier one and we can get out somewhere and see friends or family most days. I feel for so much for everyone stuck in higher tiers. Also never been more grateful that he still has a nap. Currently stuck underneath my clingy newborn but at least it's quiet while her brother sleeps.

Welcome new members!

We had a low point last night - cosleeping DD was sick... in my mouth.

Good times.