Toddler and newborn support thread?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

For some reason I thought this would be doable.

DD is now 8 days old and DS is just 2.

Holy moly what was I thinking.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I'd love some company.

@OhToBeASeahorse oh dear! How did that happen?! Not funny in the moment I'm sure but definitely tale to tell them when they're older.

Toddler started nursery yesterday (one day a week) which was great as I could give baby all the naps she needed.

As baby only naps on me I don't really know how to make sure she gets all the day time sleep she needs when toddler is around. Has anyone figured that out yet?

Hello @saiditbetterthanme - god to hear the baby blues are subsiding now. It’s lovely seeing how the siblings relate to each other - although mine is either trying to kiss and hug her or rock her bouncer so hard she threatens to be launched into space!
Welcome @Onedropbeat Also five months in- reckon we should get some sort of medal if we make it without a breakdown to next month??

@Scubalubs87 Our situations are frighteningly similar! My almost two year old also has a speech delay and a couple of other issues and you could be describing my son. He is so full on 24/7. He was exhausting before a new baby and sleep deprivation so often hanging by a thread here. Just enjoying a coffee while the little lady sleeps and her brother does a long day at nursery ( I bloody love Wednesdays)

@Daisy1980a I am all for a medal. In fact scrap the medal, I need a crown .

What’s having a toddler and a newborn has taught me is that when I only had a newborn and thought that was hard, I was so so wrong.

Now the newborn is the easy part!

Loving this 5 month age.

I was desperate to get back to work with number 1 but now I just want to stay with my baby forever (until she turns into a nightmare toddler 😆)

Not having a great day. Got the start of a cold coming (hopefully it's just a cold) taken toddler the park and was hoping to get a rest when he had his nap. Baby has decided not to settle and partners found a reason to be out the house all day before he goes back to work for the next 48 hours from tomorrow morning so I'm feeling very very pissed at him!

@dohdohdoh i stupidly decided not to disturb her by winding her. I laid her down next to me, then laid down myself and our faces were very close. The rest is regrettable history!

I havent worked out the nap.thing and it's my biggest source of anxiety. DD has fallen asleep on me after a feed- thankfully DH is still.off so has taken DS to the park. I guess we just get militant with the sling. No after feed cuddle - feed, burp, sling.

So jealous of anyone who still has a DH off

Mine is working long long hours and by the time he gets home I just want to be on my own for a bit

Feel a bit like we are ships sailing by in the night now

I fancy the pants off him but also a bit resentful that he gets to leave the house and drink hot coffee all day long

I mean I could leave the house, and drink coffee, but I’d be with the kids and the coffee wouldn’t be as hot

@TiptopJ hope you feel better soon

A cold when you have children is the least fun.

I swear by elderberry syrup or pastilles to nip it in the bud quickly
Seems to work. Probably anecdotal though

Thank you @Onedropbeat ill give them a go

Ok sling advice please! I'm using the Moby which I like - its v comfortable- but I have to undo the whole thing when I want to feed DD. This is a faff because then it needs doing up again and I'd she has fallen asleep on me after a feed I have to put her down which of course wakes her up.

We have the Baby Bjorn One but are they really ok for newborns?

I tried with a sling but couldn’t manage the doing it up in a state of newborn haze

Then bought a close caboo but that wasn’t my favourite either

We moved onto the baby bjorn we’d had for toddler as soon as she was at the weight required and I haven’t used anything else since

Love my baby bjorn

Brilliant! I do love the Moby but I've now been stuck on the sofa for 3 hours with a sleeping newborn- its lovely but i cant keep it up once DH goes back to work.

I suffer from huge anxiety around baby sleep which doesnt help.

i have 2 with a small age gap - 18m. it's tough going. someone said if they both cry, always go to the older one, as the younger one wont remember. was such good advice.

Oh that's really good advice! I had that issue at 2am the other day, there were tears all round

just bought this book

www.amazon.co.uk/Postpartum-Nutrition-Experts-Eating-Healthy/dp/1838250913/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

would highly recommend - its how to eat well after a baby - written by a woman who is a mum, registered nutritionist and doctor.

@OhToBeASeahorse love my ergobaby and also close caboo

@OhToBeASeahorse oh no! i'm sorry - yes same in our household! so much worse in the middle of the night and when chronically sleep deprived! 🤪

Yes! Toddler doesn't usually wake up so he is clearly upset about the baby, when he is screaming 'mummy' and I've got a baby wedged on my boob I feel awful! Formula would make life easier but I really dont want to.

@OhToBeASeahorse i;ve been there - get dad to go to toddler. doing a great job breastfeeding. toddler will get used to new status quo with time too.... :)

Thank you. Dad went to toddler but he was not to be placated- I think for a button he would have fed and he stopped back in March!

I have a Nuna Cuddl which is so easy to use - have tried so many slings and I’m so crap with them.

@OhToBeASeahorse how are you finding co-sleeping? I said I wouldn’t do it this time around but since the 4-month sleep regression I’m up so many times in the night by about 3am she’s in with me. I never really go into a deep sleep as still not 100 per cent comfortable doing it and won’t put her in the middle between me and my husband so one of my boobs is much more efficient than the other now.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror out shopping earlier and MY GOD, my eyes, the bags! Need to crack this sleeping longer than 2 hours in a row

I've noticed your baby is a bit grumpy, reluctant to be put down, hates the pram and is sick a bit. My eldest was similar and had terrible reflux. Maybe look at what you're eating, make sure it's not causing the problem.

I had a two year age gap. Eldest went to the childminder full time for the first four weeks. DH was off as well. You really need to work together, one adult to one child. Unfortunately, it makes sense for you to have baby. But make sure DH is dotting on your eldest. When you feed the baby, put the telly on and have eldest come sit with you both for a cuddle too.

It does get easier. Eventually.

Thanks @Fatted. Reflux has crossed my mind, but I'm reluctant to start things like gaviscon and bung her up etc in case it is just normal newborn behaviour. I havent tried the pram yet again.

She is awake for hours in the evenings, I'm going to assume that's normal!

I have a Mamaruga Zensling, really love it. Had a close caboo for my first but found the Zensling quicker and it stays put better.

My 2.5yr old is also a bit behind in the talking stakes - and it’s just starting to really frustrate him. Had a moment earlier when he got really frustrated because “darr, darr” did not mean he wanted mummy to (enthusiastically) sing twinkle twinkle little star, he wanted to go upstairs for a bath...

I’m formula feeding - I don’t think it’s any easier to manage to be honest, apart from being able to hand the baby to someone else when they’re there.

I have a nearly 5 year old and a 9 month old. Knew it was going to be hard, hence the big gap! Couldn't face it at first.

So far the main thing I have noticed is that everything changes frequently. Problems don't stay solved (or they go away and are replaced with others).

At the beginning DD spent a LOT of time in the sling. Using it I played with DS1 in the yard, unloaded the dishwasher, jiggled her to sleep and kept her there when awake.

Then she decided she hated the sling and would only sleep in her crib. She went down fairly easily in there to begin with but wanted to feed very frequently. So I fed her with one hand while reading to DS with the other.

Then she started refusing to feed at all unless she was in a darkened room with no distractions. So we moved feeds to only at nap time and I bribed / threatened DS out of the room.

Recently she's got very shouty and won't be put down. Still working on that one. Luckily DS is back at preschool now so it's a bit better.

I guess my point is it doesn't (so far) get easier but it does get different, which is both good and bad! Wine helps...

Hello can I join?! Iv a 22month DS & a 4month DS. Eeek it’s been a tough few months, but we are surviving & generally our house is peaceful & happy!
Things that help; started older ds in nursery 2 days a week although expensive totally great for baby, housework & my mental health! Bought older ds several trucks n tractors he really enjoys independent play pushing those around. Popping on paw patrol wen I breastfeed as a treat & mummy’s not available. Stuck with the breastfeeding as long term much more convenient & helped with colic. Um that’s all Iv got, sorry!!
Goodluck mums! I’m not looking forward to a wet winter with lockdown, it really is a very challenging time.