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Original poster

Midwife laughed at my baby’s name

155 replies

unknown884 · 02/10/2020 21:47

I gave birth a couple of months ago to my first child. I had a difficult labour and was on the postnatal ward for about a week afterwards.

During that time I was looked after by numerous different midwives and whilst most of them were lovely, there was one who seemed to have a mean streak.

One night it was about 3 o’clock in the morning and I was very weak, so I can’t be sure - but I’m certain I overheard her telling the other midwives in a loud voice that she thought my choice of name for the baby was awful.

The name isn’t top 10 but it’s hardly a controversial or outlandish name either, so I’m not sure how it could have warranted such a bad reaction.

I don’t know why but the memory of this came back to me again tonight and it really upset me.

Do you think this is something that could have happened? Or could I have misheard? I just don’t understand why a midwife would be so unnecessarily cruel

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BigFart · 02/10/2020 21:49

What’s the name?

Hercwasonaroll · 02/10/2020 21:50

What is It?

veryvery · 02/10/2020 21:51

Midwives are people and people aren't always nice. Yes, it was nasty and extremely unprofessional of her.

If the name you had picked was truly awful someone more close to you would have said something but hopefully in a kinder manner.

I have met lovely HCPs and not so lovely ones.

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Bahhh · 02/10/2020 21:51

Well she wasn't cruel to your face, though it was thoughtless to be overheard. People always have, and do, and will talk about you behind your back. I'm afraid you have to accept and get over it.

Someone1987 · 02/10/2020 21:52

That is unprofessional, b*tchy and just plain rude of her. It's down to you what you call your baby. From my experience on the postnatal ward (well all of it basically) some midwives have a drinking attitude.

Someone1987 · 02/10/2020 21:52

Stinking*

Sexnotgender · 02/10/2020 21:53

It might have happened, midwives are human.

What’s the name?

TracyMosby · 02/10/2020 21:53

Yeah we need to know the name

Strugglingtodomybest · 02/10/2020 21:54

Try not to overthink it, some people are just twats. And midwives are just people, not saints.

MushMonster · 02/10/2020 21:56

Do not spend even a second of your time thinking about this idiot. She is a waste of space.

Strugglingtodomybest · 02/10/2020 21:56

Also, we don't need to know the name, it's not remotely relevant.

GameofChess · 02/10/2020 21:56

@Bahhh

Well she wasn't cruel to your face, though it was thoughtless to be overheard. People always have, and do, and will talk about you behind your back. I'm afraid you have to accept and get over it.

I think we need to keep a bit of context in mind here

. Convalescing on a post natal Ward? Having to accept being bitched about? I don’t think so.

I’m sorry that happened to you OP. it is horrible. Especially when you’re at your most vulnerable.

We don’t all leave hospital with a hop skip & a jump but sadly some people lack imagination and therefore compassion.

Enrico · 02/10/2020 21:57

She said it because she was being thoughtless - whether because she's generally like that or because she was having a bad day or for whatever reason to do with her that applies.

But it has nothing to do with you, your baby, or your baby's name.

Of course it's upsetting to hear and no one wants to think of their newborn having any kind of hostility their way, however tangential, but this is the woman's issue, not yours.

Congratulations on your daughter. Whose name is, I am sure, much loved by you.

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 02/10/2020 21:57

I don't think we need to know the name, the Op has said its nothing crazy. If the Op says the name people will just make mean comments on here and make her feel worse, no matter what the name was.

That does sound like a horrible thing for the midwife to have said, and very unprofessional. I hope you can put it to the back of your mind but that would have upset me too.

DappledThings · 02/10/2020 21:58

From your description of the circumstances it also.sounds very plausible that you were actually half asleep and imagined this.

Original poster

unknown884 · 02/10/2020 22:00

Thanks for the replies. I’m not going to reveal the name on here, but like I say, it’s nothing that’s particularly uncommon or unusual - so I’m not sure why it would have caused that reaction. But hearing her be so nasty made me feel even worse at a really vulnerable moment in my life Like I say, I question whether it even happened as I can’t believe someone would be so mean. But I’m sure that’s what I heard.

OP posts:

Oliversmumsarmy · 02/10/2020 22:01

I gave birth a couple of months ago to my first child. I had a difficult labour and was on the postnatal ward for about a week afterwards

I can’t get further than you spent a week on the post natal Ward.
Even friend who had the most horrendous birthing injuries spent 4 days in and that was considered a long time.

GameofChess · 02/10/2020 22:01

.. and just to echo others, I had some lovely people helping me (was in for over a week) and some people who were as unlovely as you could imagine.
When you’re badly injured though you are much less resilient mentally as well as physically.

How are you and baby these days?

whynotwhen · 02/10/2020 22:03

If the name isn't that bad I think it's possible you misheard what she said......

Original poster

unknown884 · 02/10/2020 22:03

Of course it's upsetting to hear and no one wants to think of their newborn having any kind of hostility their way

I think that’s partly it - to hear someone being horrible about your baby to others, when they were just a couple of days old. It made me so sad.

OP posts:

GameofChess · 02/10/2020 22:04

@Oliversmumsarmy

I gave birth a couple of months ago to my first child. I had a difficult labour and was on the postnatal ward for about a week afterwards

I can’t get further than you spent a week on the post natal Ward.
Even friend who had the most horrendous birthing injuries spent 4 days in and that was considered a long time.

If you’re badly injured it can happen, sadly. It is rare though.

Original poster

unknown884 · 02/10/2020 22:04

If the name isn't that bad I think it's possible you misheard what she said......

That is a possibility as I was very weak both mentally and physically. But surely I can’t have imagined this out of thin air?

OP posts:

itchyfinger · 02/10/2020 22:06

@Oliversmumsarmy I spent a week in postnatal. Not unheard of.

NoProblem123 · 02/10/2020 22:08

She was a complete bitch to laugh at any baby’s name (if that’s what you definitely heard).
Now move on and put the mean cow behind you.

MrsMcMuffins · 02/10/2020 22:08

If it’s not an outrageous name I think you probably misheard. I had similar situation when I had my DS. I was convinced the couple next to us were discussing how awful my son’s name was and laughing but they were talking about something completely different.

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