Is it a big lie that the newborn stage is hardest??

[SofaSurfette]

I'm sure people only say this to make new mums feel better. I have also heard that "it doesn't get easier, just different". But at 6 months I'm sure it's about 3x more work! Admittedly, I was expecting the first few weeks of motherhood to be a lot harder -
I naively wondered what all the fuss was about. Yeah the sleep deprivation was a challenge, but I seemed to have so much time. I wondered what people were on about when they spoke of cold tea and not getting 5 minutes for a shower. Not anymore.

How do people even go out in the first couple of months of weaning? When there are still all the usual milk feeds in addition to very messy mealtimes? That's about 8 feedings in 12 hours! I feel like my whole day is spent feeding and cleaning up. And everything takes several times longer than it used to because fussiness is increasing and nap times are reducing -if happening at all- ... Honestly the sleepless nights were a doddle compared to this. What am I doing so wrong?! More importantly, when does it actually get easier

We aren't even at the crawling stage yet. It never does get easier, does it?

Just wait until you have a 14/ 15 year old,,

Yup. Teenagers are the worst!!!! Particularly between 13-16.

It gets a bit easier, then you have another one and you are back to square one

It so depends on the baby! I had two sleepy newborns and it was hard at times but not massively, then a refluxy one when it really was the worst.

For weaning, you can make it much easier on yourself! At this point you don't need to focus on how much they eat from an energy perspective, they're mostly tasting and getting a few extra nutrients. So make it fun! I've never been fixed on baby led weaning, but finger food means they can explore and you can eat at the same time, which is also really good for them as they copy you. It also means you can take them outside to eat, picnics are great and also mean less tidying!
With 3 DCs I don't have time for lots of special baby foods, I try to make meals that suit us all - eg avocado sandwiches, cut up banana for a snack, spaghetti Bolognese for dinner made without salt so it can be blended up for the baby (and give her a few pieces of the veg to gnaw on).

Big bibs help too, I like the Bibado ones as they keep all the clothes clean and I chuck the whole thing in the wash, plus a plastic mat under the high chair.

They are all different and different stages are difficult. By the sound of it you had a fairly easy newborn.

And as for going out: DS had a pouch if we were out at a mealtime. Not perfect, but easy and let us leave the house.

I totally agree. It was when they reached toddler years I got a shock. I fount that much harder.

I found it easier when DS slept through the night (ie midnight until 6am), don’t underestimate the impact that lack of sleep has on everything! So for me that was about 9 months.
Also I preferred it at this point as interaction got a response. So I could see a purpose to it all which made it all so much better for me.

Going out while weaning, I think I did the messy feeds at home and went for finger food while out. I just cleaned up the mess afterwards and accepted that was how it would be for a while.

I discovered I’m not a young baby person. But I like toddlers (even through the screaming tantrums), really enjoy children (good job as I teach in primary school) and am ok so far with the teens. We all have phases we like more than others I suppose.

I also have a 6 month old and I completely agree! I found the newborn stage pretty straightforward and, like you wondered what the fuss was about. Then my LO stopped sleeping easily in the daytime and the nights didn’t get much better. So far, I found around the 4 month mark the toughest. Things are busy now with weaning but I’m less stressed than when I couldn’t get him to nap. I think I’m also taking things in my stride a little bit more now. Like pp’s have said, we have a lifetime of this now!

The first few weeks are hard then it gets easier for a little bit. I found the toddler stage much, much harder than having a baby but I think part of that is also being back at work and everyone's expectations that things are easier. I've never had so many compliments on my appearance as when I had a newborn - people's expectations were obviously incredibly low!

@GreyShadow

Yup. Teenagers are the worst!!!! Particularly between 13-16.

10000% this!

My mum had 3 she said no better or worse stage just different- I agree so only having the one

There’s a beautiful time between 4 years old and 4 years and a month. They can sit and watch a film. Be helpful and want to do things with you without complaint. Doesn’t help if you have any others not in this age bracket!

I have an 11 month old who doesn’t stay still. Definitely harder. Enjoy pre-crawling stage where you can leave the baby in one place for 2 minutes and they haven’t trashed the living room and planned to scale the staircase.

I think people say the newborn stage is the hardest because, especially for new mums, it’s a huge adjustment & you’re recovering from birth. There is also a bit of a misconception that sleep starts bad and improves but I’ve never found it to be a linear progression!

It was the worst stage for me. Got easier when I outsourced it at four months, put them in nursery and went back to work pt. Much easier from then on.
And I have two teens!

It depends on whether you have a lovely compliant newborn or not I think. Friends loved the early stages, but I had a refluxy one who would get screamy overtired because she struggled to sleep in the day. She then remained this way until she cruised at 10 months and walked at 12 months (never crawled).

Now she’s 21 months and still barely naps but can cope with it easily, and sleeps 11 hours at night to make up for it.

I have a 5.5 month old whos rolling, sitting, im weaning, naps are way less frequent and he still doesnt sleep through (just saying those things to highlight the level of activity - not being a showy off mum!) and I entirely disagree.

I found the newborn phase utterly relentless but so, so dull at the same time. I very much prefer it now that things are busier.

I have a 4 month old and the first 12 weeks were undoubtedly the hardest for me so far.

This is the easy part. Teenagers are the hardest and not getting any easier ! Make the most of having little ones

When you're in the newborn stage it is the most difficult hint ever cant wait to have another one so I can embrace how easy it is haha. Mine did have severe reflux and sepsis though but now at 16 months shes much harder, pretty sure shes in the terrible 2s early haha!

I found the newborn stage easy with my two- my youngest had silent reflux and would only sleep on me for naps But it was much easier than when they start moving around and then it’s basically crowd control when your out
Mine are 2 and 7 now and the new born stage was an absolute breeze compared to now. The 7 year old is like a 13 year old, the 2 year has a tantrum if I even look at her, both never stop talking ALL DAY LONG.
I long for the new baby stage when they are happy with a bottle and a cuddle but I appreciate not everybody enjoys it.

Definitely the new born stage is the easiest (sorry ) it gets progressively worse until they reach adulthood :)

The newborn stage was by far the hardest for both my DD, but they both had bad reflux and didn't sleep well so others may have had a different experience. Youngest DD had terrible tantrums for years but was still nowhere near as bad as the newborn stage. Another difficult stage was when I went back to work full-time but that was due to the difficulties of juggling rather than the behaviour of the DC.

However, they are 11 and 8 now so I'm thinking the approaching years with two teenage girls might outdo the newborn stage!

New borns are easy...it's toddlers and teenagers who are the real tyrants