Is it a big lie that the newborn stage is hardest??

[SofaSurfette]

I'm sure people only say this to make new mums feel better. I have also heard that "it doesn't get easier, just different". But at 6 months I'm sure it's about 3x more work! Admittedly, I was expecting the first few weeks of motherhood to be a lot harder -
I naively wondered what all the fuss was about. Yeah the sleep deprivation was a challenge, but I seemed to have so much time. I wondered what people were on about when they spoke of cold tea and not getting 5 minutes for a shower. Not anymore.

How do people even go out in the first couple of months of weaning? When there are still all the usual milk feeds in addition to very messy mealtimes? That's about 8 feedings in 12 hours! I feel like my whole day is spent feeding and cleaning up. And everything takes several times longer than it used to because fussiness is increasing and nap times are reducing -if happening at all- ... Honestly the sleepless nights were a doddle compared to this. What am I doing so wrong?! More importantly, when does it actually get easier

DH insists toddlerdom was worst.

I think teens, though we're coming out of that now too. I was a secondary teacher and a whole class of 14-15 year olds didn't faze me at all but all 3 of mine nearly broke me at that age and they were all 2 years apart.

DD2 was 12-18 months over lockdown and I found that the hardest (comparing to DD1 who's now 5 and was pretty much a breeze).

Always on the move, like a tornado of destruction through the house, determined to injure herself in any way possible, puts everything in her mouth, and didn't yet have the communication to deal with boundaries/frustration. Absolutely relentless and draining.

She's 19 months now and it's just getting better - she's slightly more 'sensible', communicates quite well and is starting to understand 'wait', 'after this' etc. But yes, she was DEFINITELY easier as a nerborn. They're just all different!

I hated the newborn stage i found it so hard maybe as I was so ill but I can’t deal with sleep deprivation well either. I probably found it hard up untill a year tbh as that’s when mine started sleeping. I’m finding it quite easy at the moment with a 15 month old he sleeps 16 hours at night 7-10! It’s hard when there on the move as you’ve always got to have your eye on them. People have opinions on ready made food but at 6 months I used Ella’s pouches if we were out an about and I’d give it straight out of the pouch 😂 or sandwiches ? do anything to make your life easier. Food isn’t a big deal at the moment as there still having milk. There’s always hard r and easier bits at each stage.

lMO it's a total lie to reassure new parents, but it actually makes it harder down the line as you don't anticipate that it gets harder not easier.

With a newborn, the house was never tidier, my hair was straightened, I had enough rest, it was bliss. And they wasn't with one of those magical unicorn babies but with a fairly average newborn who demanded to be held all the time. I went out to dinner with baby in the sling, went to parties, it was fab.

Toddler years I've found much harder. These days I barely find time to brush my hair, let alone straighten it because I'm a bit bored... I get less sleep now than then. My 3 year old has only just started sleeping through and my 16mo still wakes up every 2-3 hours most of the time,name is much harder to get back to sleep than a newborn.

I get that it's hard if baby has colic or reflux -my second child had colic (still the easiest stage though for her), but otherwise, I really don't understand the big deal personally. At least you aren't usually trying to juggle it with work, it can't move and it doesn't argue back.

The teenage stage is by far the hardest. Give me a baby or toddler any day.
DD1 was an easy baby, easy child, then a complete nightmare from high school. To be fair she has a late asd and adhd diagnosis.
DD2 in comparison was more difficult as a baby and toddler but is a delight now but I am still apprehensive for the teen years.

The teenage stage is by far the hardest. Give me a baby or toddler any day
Totally disagree!
The teen years have been marvellous.
Sure there have been times of stubbornness and them pushing boundaties but I learnt how deal with that at at toddler stage! However on the whole it's been entertaining, interesting and fun! I loved the teenage years with two lads.

Teen years are the hardest. Hands down!

I've shed more tears and lost more sleep with the teenagers than I ever did with newborns or toddlers. But then others sail through it.

Not the girls themselves, but helping them navigating life’s unfairness has drained me. I can’t protect them from the world and it has been immensely painful to see them face certain events.

The thing that made the newborn period hard for me was having other children at the same time. First born- a doodle. Second born- dealing with a 7 month old too. Not so fun. Third born- dealing with a just turned 3 year old and a 22 month old. I’ve actually blocked most of this horror out in order to survive!

*17 month old, not 7 month old. That would have not worked!”

I absolutely adored the newborn stage. They sleep, eat and cuddle. DD was prem and suffered from bad reflux but I still loved it.
I really enjoyed up until the age of 3; watching them learn, work out how to play, trying new things.

She has just turned 5 and I'm finding this part hard. Very mundane, she talks from the minute she gets up to the minute she goes to bed, loves playing pretend (I join in, but my god is it boring!), is starting to get a bit of an attitude.. She's just starting school though and I'm excited for this chapter and to watch her grow again.

Dreading the teen years because, to be frank, I was an absolute cow and I feel like karma is going to come and bite me on the arse.

I think each stage has its positives and negatives and when you're in the midst of it the negatives feel awful; it's hard to see past the bad moments when you're exhausted. I'm a single parent with no outside support so the past 6 months have felt relentless!

Teens deffo the hardest for me too. Babies and small children are physically more demanding but also more rewarding. They are often cute and cuddly in-between bouts of behaving like crying snot faced tantrum factories.

Teenagers are balls of confused hormones with little impulse control and push you away in favour of their equally revolting mates.

Coming out the other side with our eldest and she is lovely again now at nearly 16 - but DS now in full Kevin the teenager mode. I get very little joy from being his mum at the moment and miss him being a happy little boy.

I think it's all hard I different ways at different times, but Id rather be physically tired than emotionally drained so I'll happily swap you a baby for a teen!

Newborn stage was absoluely grim!!! Bad birth, sepsis, baby not feeding, jaundice needing treatment, mastitis upon mastitis and terrible pain when feeding, never more than 40 minutes sleep at a time day or night, unable to put the baby down in cot or bouncer without continuous screaming, screaming in the car seat, screaming in the pram...just pure hell on earth and thinking that death would be the best way out.

I find it so much easier now and almost fun. At least at 21 months she says funny things, and can actually tell me if she's sore, hungry, scared, needs a nappy change etc. I can stick her in front of cartoons for a bit. It's heaven and I feel human again!!

It clearly depends on the baby.

18 month old bolter with no fear was tough. However, there is no way that'll be as bad as a teenager in these trying times we live in!

Teenagers probably worse.

@xtinak
Just reading some of the other replies from people stating the newborn stage was so easy and they loved it & im so glad you wrote that. I had sepsis too and an emcs , I find it hard to think back to the newborn stage without feeling sick! Baby would barely sleep & feeding all night. I was hallucinating with sleep deprivation. Trying to bf with mastitis twice and a toungue tie. My 15 month old is a dream compared to that !

You aren’t doing anything “wrong” op!
Every child is different and everyone’s experience of parenting is different.
I found the first year torturous as I was a single parent to a baby with severe reflux and I developed PND. He was also allergic to milk so weaning was a bit scary.
Once he started walking and exploring I found it easier as I got joy out of seeing him develop and discovering. Still bloody hard work though.

The early weaning stage is hard work because they still need a lot of milk plus trying foods plus naps, it felt (for me, anyway) like I was on a strict schedule to fit everything in each day. I struggled to find time for fun.

Each stage has it’s highs and it’s lows, be wary of anyone who definitively said “YES THIS IS THE EASY STAGE”. It’s bollocks.

Congratulations for getting through a pandemic with a small baby.

Omg yes yes yes. Just you wait! Youll see!