What age did you stop staying in DC's room until they fell asleep?

[Cosypyjamaface]

As the title says, usually we stay with DD until she falls asleep. What age did you move to "night night" and just leave them to it?

Ah it does piss me off all these smug sods with their drowsy but awake babies. We tried so hard with PFB. Everything by the book. Would he drowsy but awake? Ha bloody ha. He had excellent being left detectors and he'd scream blue murder, getting more and more distressed and more and more awake.

OP, how long does it take and is it a problem for you? If it's a problem, try to fix it. If it's just a nice thing at the moment, I honestly believe the longer you leave it the easier it is to stop. The older they get the easier they are to reason with. And may just phase out naturally.

One thing that really helped with DD at 3 was giving her control. I'd sing her lullaby and talk her through relaxing. Then I just said I needed to go and do the washing up (or similarly boring thing) and to let me know when she was ready for me to go. She sent me off in about 2 minutes! Two might be a bit young yet for that one depending on comprehension levels.

seriously, about 8 years old (not kidding). We loved it. Read stories, chapter books, lots of cuddles, and left when they were very drowsy. Didn't take long, about 20 minutes, and we loved it. They are both teenagers now and completely normal...

My LO is 4 months old and I give him a lot of help to sleep, so no idea.

But I am finding some of these replies quite frustrating. From birth if I put him down to sleep, he'd cry and I'd wait a bit and he'd cry so I'd cuddle/feed him to sleep, put him down again etc and he'd wake after 10 mins, start process again ad infimitum. So, I'm now cosleeping, basically to survive sleep deprivation and of course he has a tonne of sleep associations and is dependent on me to sleep. I've never heard of anyone suggesting leaving a new born to cry it out. So what was I meant to do? It was help him to sleep or leave him to scream, no middle ground where he'd happily drift off on his own. Of course we are thinking about how to change this and he now has some (shortish) naps on his own. But please just be grateful if you have a good sleeper, don't make those of us who dont feel more crap when we are already struggling.

From day 1 I always tried to put them down while still awake the lights out and I leave. When very small they did tend to drift off while I was feeding them but it was the same routine every night. They had their own room too. I never let them cry - and I would wake them for a sleepy feed before I went to bed. If they did fuss I'd just go back in, a few strokes then out again. There was only a handful of tricky nights so it worked for us (my daughter did have reflux and was sometimes harder to settle, but I still persevered with the putting down while still awake and at three months she finally got it).

I never stayed with mine but I realise that I was quite lucky in that they both slept really well and without help.

Never. I wasn't getting into that shite.

Going on 7 years here with my last DD.
We play meditation stories on my phone until she falls asleep.
I love it. It's half hour in the evening to relax, cuddles and quiet time with her I don't get often as a single mum of three kids.
I've co slept with all my kids from birth though and they've transitioned into their own beds and settling to sleep in their own time.

Never did this. Bath, bottle, bed. Would obviously keep a close eye but I think they settled better on their own.

We always read to them until they fell asleep and still do even now for the 10 year old if he wants it. But Mr 12 hardly ever wants a story these days and can stay awake later than us now!

@Keha

My LO is 4 months old and I give him a lot of help to sleep, so no idea.

But I am finding some of these replies quite frustrating. From birth if I put him down to sleep, he'd cry and I'd wait a bit and he'd cry so I'd cuddle/feed him to sleep, put him down again etc and he'd wake after 10 mins, start process again ad infimitum. So, I'm now cosleeping, basically to survive sleep deprivation and of course he has a tonne of sleep associations and is dependent on me to sleep. I've never heard of anyone suggesting leaving a new born to cry it out. So what was I meant to do? It was help him to sleep or leave him to scream, no middle ground where he'd happily drift off on his own. Of course we are thinking about how to change this and he now has some (shortish) naps on his own. But please just be grateful if you have a good sleeper, don't make those of us who dont feel more crap when we are already struggling.

I don't think people are referring to 4 month olds !

I o my sis that with one for my 3dcs. I did it for 2 weeks when he was 2 and did a gradual withdrawal.

Sorry that is meant to say I only did that with one of my 3 dcs.

DD1 I think we started trying gradual retreat around 18 months, but it took a long time to get her to fall asleep on her own! Even now at 6 she would rather we stayed with her.
DD2, I'm still sitting with her at age 2, but takes her 5 minutes to fall asleep. I've learnt from DD1 that its not worth the battle!

Never did it with any of mine.

Never. Well, I tried a couple of times and soon realised they would not sleep if I was in the room with them. They would just stare at me with beady, unblinking eyes.

I never did it either.

Probably 5 months. I used to stay with him when he was in our room and then realised I should probably leave him (and definitely before he went in his own room) so I stopped. However most of the time he would fall asleep on the boob. We stopped that at 10 months and established a proper bedtime routine. Now he is 18 months and we say good night and shut the door!

My first fed to sleep until about 18 months. Once we stopped that, we left her to go to sleep on her own.

Second doesn't really feed to sleep so has been fed and then put in cot to fall asleep alone from about 8 weeks.

Lay next to first one (we co slept) until second one was born. Then tried to lie next to both until we realised that second born just wanted to go the fuck to sleep without all those shenanigans. So we decided it was ridiculous to still be lying next to the first born, it literally took 2 days. They were 14 months. Ridiculous.

Rarely needed too (more luck than judgement really).
But this is MN, you’ll need to do it until they go to senior school or alternatively co sleep until they’re 14 as ‘they’re just babies and most of the world co sleeps’.

My son had gone through stages of wanting this but unless he's unwell we didn't. She's probably just used to it now if it's part of the routine so up to you how long you want to continue doing it for.

Around 18 months old. Now we just say night night he repeats back then we leave he is currently 22 months old

@Mustbetimeforachange

It never occurred to me to do so. I think at that time (25 years ago), we were told to put them down & leave them. Of course if they cried we went back to them, but did try to get them to self settle. But then ours never slept in our room either as I couldn't sleep, but this is against current advice.

I probably should have said my daughter is 21 now. Like you, we were told to get them in their own room immediately. It’s interesting how the advice changes over the years, as medical knowledge and expertise increases.

maddiemookins
Agree with you But this is MN, you’ll need to do it until they go to senior school or alternatively co sleep until they’re 14 as ‘they’re just babies and most of the world co sleeps’

I am actually quite surprised by the responses as usually you're a bad parent if you leave your baby to sleep alone & doing so must mean leaving them screaming their heads off. It's good to see that not everyone on MN co sleeps and walks round all day with a baby in a sling.

Some of you seem to not understand that there is a vast area of grey between throwing a wide awake screaming child through their bedroom door and slamming it shut leaving them to howl for hours (possibly screaming "shut up" at them occasionally) and spending hours stroking, rocking, cuddling unable to leave the room until they are totally sound asleep.
Do I think it is partly luck if you have a good sleeper yes but I also think that you can contribute to them sleeping well. From tiny mine was in a mosses basket in which ever room I was in and I saw the sleep patterns and worked with them. From days old he would fall asleep at about 8pm so I made that bedtime when we progressed to "putting him to bed" rather than him being a newborn that slept as and when. We had a good routine, unwind, bath, milk, cuddle, story, lullaby and then I left the room. Sometimes he was already asleep, sometimes he was awake and would fall asleep pretty quickly other times he would be awake longer and I would pop back in to reassure him I was around but I wouldn't just stay indefinitely. Even at six months old I would say night night Mummy is going now rather than "disappearing". He was never "left" to cry but it might take a minute or two to get to him if I was downstairs. I genuinely think that this ability to get to sleep without me being next him helped him "sleep through" because if he stirred in the night it was a shock that I wasn't there.