What age did you stop staying in DC's room until they fell asleep?

[Cosypyjamaface]

As the title says, usually we stay with DD until she falls asleep. What age did you move to "night night" and just leave them to it?

@CarlottaValdez

Like many posters on here, I have never, with any of my DC, done this. Just plonk them in their cots and walk out.

But did they never cry? Mine would have gone hysterical with this approach. I guess they all have their own personalities.

With DC’s 2 and 3 yes I could just plonk them in their cot and get on with my evening. DC1... well if I had read ‘the rabbit who wanted to fall asleep’ one more time I’d have lost the plot.

@Leah00

Apologies I didn't mean to come across as judgemental at all. I completely believe each family must do what's right for them, we're all in different boats etc. When I was at that stage though with DD1, where everyone pushes you to sleep train and get sleep consultants etc, it would have helped me to hear from someone that the situation I described is something that can happen (in fact it's what you're 'training' them to do surely-to not bother you at night), that all the supposed 'sleep problems' are often actually totally normal sleep for children, and that there are more important things to parenting than how hour DC sleep.

Actually it's the exact opposite. Children who are sleep trained NOT left to cry become secure in the bond with their parents. They don't learn to not bother them-this is associated with severe neglect, the type of thing seen in children left in orphanages with little contact, severe malnutrition etc

They actually learn to trust that their parents will meet their needs if they wake and will come back and soothe them.

I do agree that in babies in particular BF babies night waking is normal.

Not the information I've read @QuiteCleanBandit2020

And if it's all about meeting their needs, come on then why the increasingly long intervals before going in to 'meet their needs'? What if their need is a proper cuddle, not just some shushing or pick up put down?

There's a lot of misinformation going around when it comes to sleep and sleep training, to sway parents in the direction of sleep consultants...

2.5 and still do - what's the issue with it? If he feels safe then I'm fine with it.

@NoParticularPattern You were right! 😂😂😂

@Leah00

Not the information I've read *@QuiteCleanBandit2020*

And if it's all about meeting their needs, come on then why the increasingly long intervals before going in to 'meet their needs'? What if their need is a proper cuddle, not just some shushing or pick up put down?

There's a lot of misinformation going around when it comes to sleep and sleep training, to sway parents in the direction of sleep consultants...

The child's needs are mostly about reassurance which is what happens in sleep training. Plenty of stories and bed time cuddles given but then it's time to sleep. That's my responsibility as a parent

What happens if you have 2, 3 or 4 children do they all immediately get attention?

Honestly when we had two children 18 months apart and DD1 needed reading to sleep and I had a second i was BF- ing, and DD1 was up 2-3 times a night (had to sit by her bed until she went back to sleep) and I was obviously feeding DD2 through the night... it nearly killed me. Genuinely. We’d all have been happier if we’d sleep trained I think.

Never, unless she was ill. I’m from the olden days and we did controlled crying.

Mine is 4 and we still do it but she doesn't have her own bedroom so... Put her to sleep in the double bed with me, stories, and then cuddles once she falls asleep I transfer her to her bed. She really likes being "tingled" as she drifts off - lightly brushing your fingers over the skin of her arms etc.

I don't mind!! It's one of the only times she stays still enough for me to really cuddle up with

What happens if you have 2, 3 or 4 children do they all immediately get attention?

It's good I'm bit planning on having any more then! My parents did it with me too, and still let me have a dummy at 5/6 to go to sleep with... No harm done, I clearly managed to sleep and not use a dummy at some point! Can't remember when though. But I had been through some trauma as an infant so it made sense for her to comfort me.

@leah00 completely agree with everything you've written.

Who is the sleep training to benefit really? Imagine being helpless, needing a cuddle or a drink, unable to communicate your needs and at best getting shush pat.

There is a difference though between sleeping through the night and staying with your DC until they fall asleep in the evening.

DH and I loved the kids' bedtimes, and we stayed with them until they were asleep until they were about 7 or 8 years old (they are 18months apart and shared a bedroom until 10 years old). But they both slept through the night from around 6 to 9 months old unless they were ill, and we very rarely had to resettled them during the night.

Many people here seem to associate staying with your child in the evening as they fall asleep and children not sleeping through the night. We've never had that problem.

cosy
I'm not talking about young babies
My children would tell me if they needed a drink, wee, cuddle !

Mine are 5&8 and share a room. I sit with them every night until they go to sleep. 5yo drops straight off, 8yo goes later and takes longer. He's not happy being upstairs alone, anytime of the day. I have no idea why and nor does he, maybe it's because we used to live in a flat! Once they've dropped off they stay asleep all night. All children are different as long as they go to sleep happy and secure then I will sit there with them as long as needed.

Same here @queenblueberries.

My little boy turned five in June, he gets a back rub/tickle and cuddles until he falls asleep.

Ds is 5 1/2 and husband does every night. I do the same with ds2. I dont see the harm. I too like to fall asleep next to someone!

8 months. She didn’t and doesn’t cry herself to sleep.

Never dud it.

Still cuddling or rocking to sleep at 13 months. leaving her would mean leaving her to cry and I wouldn’t do that. From the one occasion I forgot the baby monitor I doubt she’d even cry herself to sleep, just get more and more upset. Never been able to put her down “drowsy but awake” - no matter how drowsy she was, eyes would snap open as soon as we put her down! We have no desire to sleep train, she’ll get there when she’s ready.

I work outside the home so I like having some guaranteed snuggle time at the end of the day, she’s not really a cuddler unless she’s falling asleep!