Mother in laws guide to babies

[nervousnellyisnervous]

Looking for submissions for a mother in laws guide to parenting. Please post random things you didn't know about how to raise your baby.

Mine is - on a hot day I didn't put a vest under my baby's dress. And mother in law kindly said to my baby, are you poor, will mummy not allow you a vest?

Is this a thing? Am I supposed to have her in vests all the time? Even when hot?

Because I didn't know this... I would love parenting tips from everyone's mother in law, since they're the experts.

DONT give them puree'd vegetables for weaning. Just baby rice.

My MIL only ever once made a suggestion to DH, asking if we were winding the baby. She never did that again. Luckily in relation to unsolicited advice my MIL is sensible. The rest of her life and behaviour deserves a thread of its own.

It’s my mother (so DH’s MIL) who is the source of ridiculous and overbearing childcare advice here. She’s a nightmare.

Also mother in law also just raiser concerns that my DD might come back from a trip to Australia and come back with Australian accent. And that "we can't have that; we need a posh English accent".

Firstly, I'm Australian, so she must think I sound terrible, secondly, she's 8 weeks old, she has no accent at all.

Off to finishing school with me I guess...

My baby was FTT. My MIL thought that meant she should be allowed to feed him chocolate and custard at 6 months old.

My MIL continuously tried to warn me off of breastfeeding, telling me my baby was too hungry all the time and formula was way better than breastmilk "because it's got added vitamins and minerals."

What is ftt?

Don't give fruit as a snack. Apparently I was starving my then 6 month old by not feeding her chilli cheese and ketchup sandwiches

What on earth is baby led weaning? Won't they choke? What about baby rice and some jars? You had them and you are fine!

You were weaned at 3 months and you're fine...he's hungry so much maybe he needs some baby rice...

Are you sure they can't have a drink of water? (I know it is advised in some circumstances, ff, exceptionally hot weather but still it was suggested.all.the.time.)

Put them down or you'll never get them down on their own.

Constantly referring to baby as fat.

Has he had jelly and ice-cream? Well it's what kids like isn't it

My mother suggested I talk to my ds 3 about what he did in nursery when he came home.

MIL almost fainted when she saw me, at 8 months pregnant, reaching to get something down from a high shelf. Apparently, stretching your arms up high can cause the umbilical cord to strangle the baby

Oh, and breastfeeding was disgusting and really not necessary. Also, it was very important to start weaning at six weeks to help them sleep... I could go on.

She was actually a lovely woman and I was fond of her, but needless to say, I didn't take any notice of anything she said regarding parenting

@Boringnamechanging

My mother suggested I talk to my ds 3 about what he did in nursery when he came home.

Mine suggested to talk to him about nursery in lockdown so he remembers it when he goes back. He was 17months at that point.

(Obviously, before anyone starts, it might be good to chat about it, and he will clearly remember some things about nursery, but I don't think he could process "oh I wonder what your keyworker is up to right now, what fun you would have been having" in a meaningful way.)

@Lockdownseperation failure to thrive. He was really tiny, only weighed 14lb at 12 months and was on high calorie prescription formula. I know MIL probably thought she was helping him to gain weight by constantly offering to feed him chocolate and custard.

What a nasty thread. Only Mil give unsuited or unnecessary advice? What awful old women caring and loving their sons children. Are you related to Les Dawson OP?

@InfiniteSheldon will be more inclusive and welcome your advice as well 😘

Mil - 'he (my bf ds) only poos once every few days? Sil's (bf) baby (sil is mils dd) poos at least once a day..'

Me - 'my breastmilk must be better quality then, less product waste'.*

Apart from then telling me I didn't need to bf past 18mo because Sil didn't (I bfd ds until he was 3.10y), she's not said a word since.

*I know this isnt true, but it shut her up.

@Boringnamechanging

My mother suggested I talk to my ds 3 about what he did in nursery when he came home.

Really struggling to see what’s wrong with this?!

“Surely that baby can’t be hungry AGAIN” Every single time I breastfed my baby.

My Mil held my hand whilst they cut 12 stitches wrongly placed ten days post partum and I sobbed into a pillow

Mil constantly used to tell me DS (who at 9 weeks stopped breathing one evening) that he should be laid flat on his back ( no raised cot or anything) or he would have a curved spine.
She also thought babies must be slathered in sudocreme after every change.
Breastfeeding is a no in her opinion as it means she can't feed her grandchildren and take them to her house.

@DodgeRainClouds omg yes... when DD cluster feeds I get this, and said, we were told 20 minutes on one breast and 20 minutes on the other. As if I can explain that to a newborn, and get her to comply.

Baby should wear a silk under-vest.

Baby should be wrapped up in many layers regardless of the weather.

Don't take baby outside if there is any wind even if they are wrapped up in aforementioned layers with rain cover on the pram they will get VERY ILL.

Don't worry about getting baby into a routine, look she likes sleeping on me.

My dcs are teens now but looking back we had gems like -

Newborn babies get ill in fresh air. It's dangerous to take them outside.

Boy babies should be fed more than girl babies.

I should put some brandy in the last bottle of the night.

When they were a bit older...,

Skylights are too dangerous to have in a child's bedroom as they could balance chairs and boxes and reach up, open the window and climb onto the roof (the fact that they could have done this easier with a normal window seemed to pass her by)

They shouldn't go swimming ever because they'll get verrucas.

They shouldn't ever go to the cinema because the seats are infested with nits.

I've always chatted to mine about what they have done at nursery, even when younger then 3. Baffled by this one.