Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

How about fuck off and mind your own business. You have no idea why that mother isn't breast feeding.
If she wants her other child to feed it then so be it.
I never get worked up over how people feed their kids.

Whenever I see a baby being fed, breast or bottle, I just think "aww". I am not someone who gets all gooey over babies but there's something so sweet looking about about them when they feed.

Yanbu @TeenyQueen but those on MN won’t agree in the main. Of course FF is so normalised that people see giving a bottle as something they think they should be allowed to do for any baby they know- Many MILs and Dads etc regularly put pressure on to “have a turn”... in fact my friend who is a midwife was trying to encourage people to decide only two caregivers to be able to FF a baby to ensure continuity of care for the baby as well as pace and positioning. She said she often went on new baby visits where a different person was feeding the baby each day and that isn’t natural for them. A Baby is designed to have one caregiver naturally and even if that’s not BFing it should still remain one or two caregivers to provide the opportunity for bonding as no a baby cannot bond with numerous caregivers. A baby thinks it’s caregiver is part of itself so it cannot bond with multiple caregivers regardless of how much people think early daycare or a baby being cared for by multiple people is “fine”. It really isn’t. Obviously it’s better than a baby facing abusive or neglectful conditions but mum needing a weekend away at 2 weeks post partum doesn’t trump the baby’s need for closeness and continuity.
Bottles are so much a part of modern day baby paraphernalia that of course it influences BFing rates and that can be seen quite clearly.
But people are very defensive about this topic.

A one-off private picture is going to normalise bottle feeding to the wider population, really? if you want to get on your high horse perhaps addressing the insidious advertising of "follow on" formula would be a better tactic.

I fundamentally disagree with you

I'd call you a judgemental cunt names if I didn't think the post would then get deleted.

@NaviSprite breasts being so hyper-sexualised in our culture that people (for reasons I can’t fathom) still view them as more a sexual appendage

Breasts are sexualised because they ARE sexual. They are one of our erogenous zones as well as being completely natural. Vaginas are completely natural, also sexual. I wouldn’t post a photo of my vagina online because it’s completely natural and that’s where my baby came from.

Also OP. Grow up. Mind your own business and get a life

but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby

You have it wrong.

What is wrong is that many people see feeding a baby as the only way to bond.

How many times do we see women worrying about expressing as partner/mum/mil wants to feed the baby too, and all sorts of guilt being piled on about breastfeeders being “selfish”, not wanting to share the baby or somehow denying others an opportunity to bond with the baby.

If a baby is bottle fed then yes, one if the pro’s is anyone can feed and you have much more freedom in that regard.

But we need to move away from this idea that feeding is some magical wonderful thing that creates a bond. There are plenty of other things you can do.

I haven’t expressed myself very well but when i was bf and couldn’t express I got a lot of pressure to give up and switch to bottles as other people wanted to feed.

@Changedname78 I’m aware of that (and my section in brackets was sarcasm) but we can’t ignore that the level to which they are sexualised has changed dramatically in the past few decades.

Also, erogenous zones include the neck, ears, mouth and lips (in fact anywhere on the body where positive stimulus causes a pleasurable reaction) I’m quite happy for those to be on display - so why not Breasts when a mother is breastfeeding?

It was probably a two second pose for a photo.

@NaviSprite bit different, you don’t have sex with your neck. You have sex and foreplay with a vagina and breasts 😂 anyway I’m not offended by them, and believe women should be able to breastfeed anywhere ( though I do think making a point that you should be able to have your breasts out in public purely because your feeding is just an act ) it’s perfectly easy to breastfeed in public with a bit of discretion but each to their own. I just don’t understand when people question why breasts are sexualised.

You breastfed your child - we get it. You’re far superior to formula feeders like myself. Well done.

I know why they are but I was a little annoyed at the OP started another BF vs FF thread so opted for sarcasm

Of course I’m not suggesting I can show my neck, ears etc. So why not go out with my boobs out too, but in terms of posting pictures on social media only to have them removed or edited I think (and this is only my opinion) is because some people can’t see them as anything but sexual.

Anywho I just didn’t want my poorly aimed sarcasm to come across as actual ignorance

that the OP started another thread*

Here's a thought.

Fuck off.

What a pile of poo OP.

Siblings are entitled to bond with younger siblings too. It’s not just for mothers.

Also- should only mothers carry out all aspects of baby care incase she misses a vital moment of bonding?

Tripe.

Good god get a life! Why do you care so much about someone else’s baby being bottle fed? I posted a similar photo when my then 18 month old picked up a bottle and put it in his little brothers mouth because I thought it was cute. You sound horribly judgmental and smug. FYI I bottle fed both my boys and no one ever fed them apart from me and my husband and bottle feeding was a bonding experience.

OP, you’re nuts! It’s social media. People post all sorts.

And the health benefits of breastfeeding in a developed nation such as the U.K. are massively overstated and at best, negligible.

I can't imagine what level on the lockdown irrational irritation scale you need to be to see a sweet picture and turn it into a big political point.

Baby being fed? Excellent.
Sister holding bottle for sake of picture? Sweet.

I fundamentally disagree with those who judge new Mothers from their ivory towers.
How I feed my child is none of your business so get off your high horse and realise you are not special yet you are judgemental and I have issues with you!

Thoughts. 🤔

Just the one.

Having read some of your other posts, maybe concentrate on your own problems, rather than criticising and judging other mums about something that has fuck all to do with you.

First i tried to bf failed misserably 2nd 2 bottle fed and guess what i didnt kill them.
Really judgemental op

I don’t think there’s any more of a bottle feeding ’culture’ now than there’s been in the last 30 or so years. It’s down to personal choice and what works for todays busy families.

I’m on year 7 of breastfeeding (on baby #3) and he has an expressed bottle at bedtime. Have learned from the girls that starting nursery and not taking a bottle is an emotional nightmare for all! Tbh when I give him his bedtime bottle he looks right into my eyes and we bond far more than he does when on the boob.

It’s a very emotive subject and we all know that breast is nutritionally best, it’s a fact. BUT it’s so much more than that. Having a mum not have a breakdown when struggling to feed can be best for a family. Mum not having hours to sit on the couch and cluster feed for hours can be best for a families. I could go on.

Not meaning to pick your post apart, I hear what your saying and I get it, but everyone’s situation is different. Same storm different boats and all that!

These sort of threads do nothing to help the breastfeeding cause.

I think that you need to stop judging other people. Keep your nasty judgemental attitude out of other people's business.