Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

So you see a lovely picture of a new baby with her big sister and this is the vicious nonsense you come out with. You seriously need to have a look at yourself OP. I'm not even going to get into the whole breastfeeding debate, but your attitude and your belief that you can say whatever you like about someone else's choices stink.

OP, for the love of god, get a hobby.

OP really?
If there's something you "fundamentally disagree" with, then good for you, I think you should go forth and help new mothers by sharing your views with them. I dare you!

You’re entitled to your opinion. But I do think you are overthinking this.

It’s not nice to be ‘shamed’ for either breast or bottle feeding. If someone gives you an unkind look or says something nasty then that’s an awful experience. But I really don’t understand how people come to the conclusion that a picture of a child bottle feeding their sibling = breastfeeding is seen as undesirable. Or that a picture of a woman breastfeeding = bottle feeding isn’t good enough
Some people just seem keen to take offence or feel ‘shamed’ when no offence or shaming is meant.

My thoughts? Fuck off.

My twins were born without a suck reflex, tube fed then bottle as my milk never turned up after a 31 week crash c section.

Regardless of that, although some people do manage, I had no interest in tandem feeding past the first few weeks anyway.

Feeding the baby is normal, I don't care how people do it.

You saw a lovely picture of a child bonding with their sibling and all you saw was negativity!!

A healthy, happy baby is a baby that is fed and cared for. You realise in some cultures it's normal for members of the family to feed the baby (if bottle fed) as a way of bonding in a wider group. I was bottle fed as a child by parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and grandparents. I'm close to all of them, it didn't take anything away from bonding with my parents.

Breastfeeding doesn’t ‘ruin’ your tits, what a stupid thing to say

Why on earth do you care so much OP? It really is none of your business.

I think you're being very rude and judgemental. It's a mother's choice how she feeds her baby, no one else has a right to judge. Both breast and bottle feeding are perfectly normal.
I loved feeding my siblings especially as im so much older than them (10 years older than my brother and 20 years older than my sister). And I've fed other babies as well. I think it's lovely for family members and friends to feed a baby. The way I see it is if there is no one else then the parent has to do it, but if someone else you trust is offering then why not?
FWIW I always knew I wouldn't even try to breastfeed as I didn't want to.

Did you write this just to cause an argument?

Do you think the sibling feeds the baby all the time and is stealing 'bonding' time from the mum?!

It's just the boring breast vs bottle debate

Breast or bottle. Hmm. I think "fed" is best. OP, if you're discussing this from a feminist standpoint of women's boobs not being allowed on Facebook/women discouraged from breastfeeding in public - I hear you. It's shit.

But your post sounds so bloody joyless it smacks of jealousy. Maybe some time off Facebook is required.

OP, I think your post is sad. Only the parents should bond with the child through feeding (and why both, and not just the mother - bf would only allow the mother).

DS loved being allowed to "feed" his little sister. I mean, he held the bottle, for about 10 seconds, with one of us hovering nearby so he didn't really do anything meaningful, but it made him feel that he was looking after her and protecting her and helped them to bond. He's still a protective and loving big brother.

I am also super happy that bottle feeding allowed DH, my parents and, gasp, MIL to feed and bond with my babies. I even, once, allowed an elderly couple to feed DS. We got chatting, they were clearly lonely and desperate for cuddles so I let them cuddle DS and offered her the bottle when it was feeding time. I will never feel bad about that - I honestly think it made her day.

Did you write this just to cause an argument?

I suspect so. One of the gosdiest threads I’ve seen in a long time

1. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

No we're teaching children that it is their choice if they wish to breastfeed or not and that there is no failure if they do FF.

Goodness sake

@CrimeAndMumishment might want to avail yourself of some actual science rather than advertising there.

OP I understand what you are trying to say and the only advice is that this is not going to go how you thought it would. Welcome to MN! A good flaming is all part of the initiation process. You'll get the hang of it eventually

Agreed @ByzantinePrincess

One of my favourite photos is a picture of my Fil giving DS a bottle. My in laws flew over from their home in Canada and I gave them their greatest wish - to hold their grandchildren giving them a bottle.

Oh fuck off!

Judgemental fuckers like you are the reason people like me who wanted to bf but COULDN'T, develop PND.

Not that's it's any of your business, but I'm sure that the baby in question isn't fed every time by what is probably the sibling...I'm sure the parents bond over most of the feeds but occasionally let others get the enjoyment from it.

I fundamentally disagree with the idea that........

Oh for crying out loud! I fundamentally disagree with the idea that how, when or what a baby eats is anything to do with anyone who didn’t give birth to them.
This sort of judgemental posturing is unpleasant, inappropriate and makes mothers miserable. Why would you think this is a helpful view to espouse? Do you often pontificate about other people’s business? How confident are you that all your decisions are flawless?

Looks as though I didnt bond with my son because I bottle fed him and sometimes my husband bottle fed him and my mum did. I shall put him up for adoption.

No way is this a genuine thread.

OP, I sort of agree that the culture around breastfeeding is weird in the UK, but I can't bring myself to care about how other parents chose to feed a baby, or who they allow to give the baby a bottle.

So basically you feel that your way is the only correct one. I'd hate to be in your daughter in laws shoes in a few years.

I think you're reading too much into it really op. It was probably just for a quick, cute photo, not sure what the big deal is.

For what it's worth I breastfeed because it just happened to work for us. I was really worried about feeding in public but did it anyway (pre lockdown!) and never got any comments, although if I had I'd probably be quite upset so I'm sorry if this has happened to you. I have had a few comments from my mil and an older friend from that same generation, saying I'm 'selfish' for breastfeeding because now 'other people can't feed him and are missing out' which I found a bit confusing (or, you know, batshit!) but I shrugged them off. If it stops working for us I'll go to bottles and I'd never judge anyone for feeding their children differently. People should do what works for them and not worry about or judge what others are doing.