Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

"Any thoughts?"

Yeh. You're either (probably) a troll or you're just mental.

You know nothing of their journey so far, and the only hints you have are that (a) they think their children are gorgeous and worth sharing and (b) they are encouraging their daughter to bond with her new baby sister and (c) they are feeding their baby. These are all good things. If it looked a bit uncomfortable, it was almost certainly posed for the camera, and the parents took over immediately after.

I'm enthusiastic bf advocate and still think your OP is unfair. Give them and yourself a break from getting worked up over this sort of thing.

I've let my 4 year old hold a bottle to her baby brothers mouth. She wants to do it for about 3 seconds, no exaggeration.

I do agree personally that bottle feeding is a bonding thing and I don't like people feeding my small baby. Lockdown has meant that is the case anyway with this one.

However I don't judge others because there isn't enough (any?) evidence to support any negative effects of this. I imagine even without lockdown most feeding is still done by the parents, therefore it's not big enough of a deal to take any action in any way.

I agree that mothers should be bottle feeding at least some of the time to get a some of the bonding experience breastfeeding mums do. However it doesn’t always happen - some women specifically choose bottlefeeding so they don’t have to feed their babies at all.

This has to be a wind up.

But, it's up to parents how they feed their child. That's it.

I do think staged photos of siblings feeding babies for the benefit of social media to be a bit , but I feel the same when people feel the need to share breastfeeding selfies. Nobody cares how a baby is fed and nobody needs carefully staged cute moments for Instagram, but if the 5 seconds of validation makes them happy them live and let live.

I could agree if she had a machine feeding the baby 24/7 but that’s not the case. Why can’t you just smile at a nice picture and move on?

This crap that you must breast feed to bond with your baby gets on my tits.So OP are you saying men never ever have a bond with their children ? Either your Dh is out of this world and can breastfeed or he doesnt have a bond with your children.
Not every woman can BF, i fed 2 of mine but with the 3rd i couldnt as the medication i had to take to keep me alive would have killed him, maybe i was a selfish stupid common bitch and useless Mother because i gave him a bottle ?
It has been a "thing" since bottle were invented for someone other than the Mother to feed a baby.
Get your head out of your perfect arse OP

I agree that you're getting super worked up about nothing.

I've breastfed one of my dc and bottle fed the other. While I certainly experienced lots of positive comments about breastfeeding, I never experienced any negativity about me breastfeeding or bottle feeding in public. I equally posted breastfeeding and bottle feeding photos on social media. I really doubt anyone cares all that much either way.

There's nothing wrong with anyone feeding a baby who the parents have asked to feed a baby. I think the bonds between siblings are just as important as those between a baby and their parents, but no one ever asked to bottle feed my bottle fed one. No one was weird about it or cared. I did however ask my mum to feed her on two occasions because I really just wanted to go to the pub and sit down and eat a meal with dh in peace. And it was fantastic. But nothing to do with bonding.

What's normalised all comes down to how you parent and the norms that children grow up internalising within the family are really very important. My one who was bottle fed thinks breastfeeding is totally normal, but she also knows that sometimes babies are fed with a bottle too for lots of different reasons. When she feeds her own dolls, she pretends to breastfeed them. That's because that's what I've talked about and make normal within our family because I think it's important (I didn't not breastfeed her by choice, we both had medical issues at the time that meant it was impossible - not that choosing not to is any less valid).

How lovely though to have siblings share that time together.

I was bottle fed (very healthy in my 40's) but breastfed my children. Honestly it is your judgement that makes things hard for people. Why shouldn't the sister bond with her sibling.

My DTs were bottle fed. I’m an awful person because not only did I not feed them every single bottle myself, in addition to letting friends and family feed them I let a couple of seemingly very nice COMPLETE STRANGERS hold one or other of them and feed them so I could deal with the other one, or eat my food hot.

We’ve bonded very nicely thank you, and despite being given liquid poison they’re healthy and thriving.

Bottle feeding is normal, as is breast feeding. Fed is best.

And the OP has disappeared. What a surprise.

Fed is best!

Any thoughts? Sure - it's none of yours or anyone else's business..

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2019/04/Infant-formula-and-responsive-bottle-feeding.pdf

I bottle fed ds, mainly because I was very poorly after having him & my milk never came in, but as soon as I was back on my feet, I was going to hospital with my then husband to learn how to do his physiotherapy twice a week, so my mum was feeding ds for me. There is too much pressure on mums to BF, I was pressured in high dependency despite being off my face on drugs, with drips in both hands, a drain in my stomach & a catheter, I would surface from the haze of drugs to find a midwife groping in my gown to try & attach ds to me, I was too poorly to say no, despite it clearly saying on my birth plan I intended to FF, it was only when I started to recover & the drugs were reduced that I found my voice & asked for a bottle, as soon as I did, I got virtually no care at all.

I've had to bottle fed both my babies because they couldn't latch (after a lot of trying) so I've expressed for them and bottle fed them. I feel like people constantly judge me for bottle feeding and I tell people all the time it's breast milk even if they don't ask because I feel guilty I can't feed my baby. Please understand it's not always by choice that woman bottle feed, they may not be able to latch, have poor milk supply or other health issues. Don't judge people, at the end of the day as long as the mother and baby are happy and healthy that's all that matters

I completely agree with you OP. I saw a photo of a baby about 4 or 5 months old feeding herself with a bottle while the proud father was saying how clever she was.
It just made me sad. The feeding process however the baby is fed should be a bonding loving experience not just a means for sustenance.

Obviously "fed is best " but nobody is suggesting that we shouldn't feed babies.
Yes OP bottle feeding in the norm in this country. But perhaps there was BM in the bottle in the photo?
The fact is that a lot of mums who say they couldn't breastfeed could, but lots of people don't agree with that statement. I very much doubt that the breasts of women who live in the UK don't function as well as the breasts od women who live in other countries. I wish people who bottle feed didn't feel the need to use the "I wanted to breastfeed but couldn't " excuse if they choose to bottle feed.

Oh do piss off FF bashing.
It might not of even been formula could have been expressed in a bottle.

We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

So should we teach our children that BF is best and not fed is best?. Because I will teach my child to feed their future child however they can. I wouldn't put in their head that BF is best. What if they can BF should they feel like a failure then because I always banged on and taught them that was the right way.

It's none of your business!

Cant*

Are you new to MN? Countless threads about feeding, many women have valid and often sad reasons for not breastfeeding and also it’s a CHOICE!!
Away and knit socks from your hand woven himalayan yak wool whilst snacking on a placenta cracker 🙄🙄

Hmmm I went back to work when my dd was 3 months, shall I have told her caregiver not to bother feeding her as it wouldn’t have been me or her dad?

Abbccc so to hell with the drugs that would have killed my baby, i should have breastfed my baby come hell or high water ? I should not have used that as an excuse not to, because every woman can feed their child. What utter tosh

I still find it amazing how bothered people get about where others do or don't put their nipples 🤷🏼‍♀️

I highly doubt that the toddler actually sat there feeding the baby the entire bottle. Was more likely a cute photo, I can't see the harm in it at all and I personally couldn't care less what way a mother decides to feed her child