I don't want to breastfeed.

[MrsHJFL]

Hey guys,

So I'm a first time mummy to be, just starting my second trimester. I'm getting alot if people asking me if I'm going to breastfeed and.. The answer is no.

I don't have any desire to do it, I really dont want to. And it will be nice for my husband to be able to help me feed.

Most people I tell this too are completely supportive. But I feel everywhere I look, online, TV shows etc they only talk about breastfeeding and never show or talk about parents that want to use formula. Makes me feel almost guilty for making this desicion.

Are there any mums out there like me who have never wanted to breastfeed and have babies only fed on formula?

How had it been for you? Do you have any tips or recommendations on what formula to use?

Just feel alone in this 'no breast' world haha xx

There's no such thing as a "best" formula brand. They all have a legally required content that is essential. Some have added unnecessary bumf with fancy packaging. All unnecessary content is simply pissed out, so if you want expensive baby piss, choose that aptamil profutura. 😂

Understand that the vast majority of the cost of your baby's formula is not the contents of the tub, it's all the marketing. Like seriously. The ingredients in formula are stupidly cheap. The palm oil in it isn't responsibly sourced, it is the cheapest available. Same as the the fish oils and if you need help, "Fructo-Oligosaccharides" is fructose. Syrup. It's the sweetening agent. Formulas contain SO much sugar to make it palatable.

If I were to need formula I would most likely opt for kendamil. It's made from full cream milk, not the cheap skim milk products of other formulas, it has no palm oils (big deal) and it's a British company.

@okiedokieme OP has been on twice to say that she isn't looking for a debate or judgement. Just information about FF. So maybe keep your opinions to yourself.

@SpaceDinosaur I liked the look of Kendamil but it itsn't stocked anywhere near me.

I also find it difficult to understand why you would not want to do what's best for your baby. If you cannot feed that's different but if you can breast is best (around 95% of women can breastfeed)

I find it hard to understand why you would feel the need to post this ...other than to make the OP feel bad?
Formula is still a healthy alternative to breast milk and the most important thing is that a baby is fed and cared for.

SpaceDinosaur, the formula you mention promotes itself (unethically, IMO) by stressing the full cream milk thing. It is misleading. Infants cannot have full fat cows milk (‘full cream’ sounds so much better for marketing, but it’s the same as ‘full fat’ ). The fat in the milk has to be reduced to make it safe and digestible.

None of the health claims made in its marketing stand up.

First Steps Nutrition have looked at all infant formulas on sale in the UK and make these very points.

There’s no reason to select Kendamil apart from the British made aspect, as it’s no better than any other available formula.

I think the way products are marketed is important. We are talking about the sole source of nutrition for our most vulnerable humans, after all. Parents should be able to trust what manufacturers say as being honest and helpful - Kendamil doesn’t seem to be bothered.

MAM bottles self sterilize in the microwave and I absolutely love that feature but tommee tippee anti colic bottles were brilliant with my eldest and all of my nieces and nephews have taken to them perfectly too. All formula is pretty much the same, cow and gate is one of the most commonly sold, it's on the cheaper side and they sell a starter pack that is perfect for hospital because baby only takes a tiny bit at first and they come with pre sterilized bottle teats so no worries about sterilizing bottles. I also like Sainsburys own milk (which is made by the same people who make Kendamil formula which is also brilliant) and I believe it's only £7 a tin.

Don't feel guilty. At all. I didn't breastfeed my baby and she's perfectly healthy. She is on the 99.9th centile for height and on the 95th centile for weight and followed both growth curves as expected since birth. I like you wanted my DH to be able to help with feeds and have a bit more freedom if necessary and i'm glad I did.

Also I was breastfed and my brother wasn't and as adults i'm the one with allergies and at the upper end of normal weight and he has no allergies and is very slender!

They put palm oil in formula??

Why is that allowed?

I mostly BF but he had a handful of bottles- quite shocked at this!

@MrsHJFL

I didn't breastfeed at all in fact the thought of it made me repulse a little - only myself breastfeeding not other people who do. It's a big commitment and I wanted my partner to be able to assist with feeds too because in an ideal world cant also be prepared with pre squeezed bottles. When I had my first they highly rammed this down my throat saying my babys more likely to have asthma etc but I felt confident with my decision and my 9yo didn't have any health issues relating to bottle feeding. You can see how much they get aswell which took a stress away for me.
Never feel pressured you need to be comfortable there is so much going on as it is

I formula fed from birth. I have a health condition and knew that it was the best thing to do. However I did manage to express for a few weeks so I feel my baby absolutely got the best scenario. She was born v small and has been under v careful watch by health professionals and never has dropped weight even after birth and I put that down to the fact that she is greedy and didn't have to wait for my milk to come in. She still got all the goodness from colostrum. If you think expressing may be an option for you speak to you midwife. I got fantastic support

She started on the aptimil ready made and sterilised bottles which u need in hospital

Then at home she is on mamia (aldi one brand version of aptimil but half the price!) and use tommee tippee bottles.

People often have to trial and error bottles but I'm lucky and never had a problem. But she loves her food lol

What PP said about the main ingredients of all formulas being the same (and expensive baby piss 🤣) is absolutely correct. The marketing of formula is something I could discuss at length but I will save that rant for now.

Aldi Mamia is probably the best (and cheapest) you can buy because it hasn’t got anything else unnecessary added to it.

Can recommend the book guilt free bottle feeding. It talks about different formula options and ingredients if you want to understand what is in it. The pros and cons of different sterilising options and how to bottle feed safely. It also talks through the research of breast versus formula milk which you can skip but helped me a little with my guilt. For bottles we spent a small fortune on different bottles until finding that MAM bottles suited LO best. She struggled with the TT and advent teats- probably for the same reason she struggled to BF. I would just buy a couple of whatever bottle you want to try first and see if your LO gets on with it before spending loads on buying a set. For sterilising I put the MAM bottles in the microwave using the self sterilising function like others have talked about. For the others we used cold water sterilisation using Milton (also handy for some toys but not necessary but an option that I like to have if he’s been sharing toys)

@okiedokieme
Around 95% of women can breast feed

Not true- this is based on a very small and poor research trial. It gets trotted out time and time again and simply isn’t true. It is also only about a woman’s ability to produce milk and doesn’t cover infant feeding factors.

We really, really don’t know how many women can breastfeed. In places where women don’t really know of alternatives, virtually every baby is breastfed, though not always without other foods/liquids, but these places may not have very pre term or sick babies (because they don’t survive).

Breastfeeding involves two physical entities, the mother and the baby, one or both of whom may have physical difficulties; it also involves a social situation and social pressures (including a mother who may have feelings against bf); it also involves cultural expectations which can affect the experience. Bf is a relationship, not just a way of getting milk into a baby.

Being ‘able’ to bf is also ill-defined. No milk at all? Some milk but not enough? Painful bf affecting the whole thing? Baby refusing or unable to feed easily? Etc etc.

It’s certainly true that the vast majority of mothers could bf without the need for anything else for at least part of infancy, but other factors intervene to make bf a complex and sensitive set of behaviours - and lack of knowledge on the part of some families, some mothers and some hcps can mean problems don’t get the most helpful response.

I had plenty of milk. Oversupply in fact. I was so sad I couldn’t breastfeed.
I agree it’s not as straightforward as ‘got milk?’

Also OP I have this kettle. Some people choose perfect prep but I wasn't convinced by it. I got a kettle from Amazon that boils water to 100 degrees then when it cools to 70 to mix the formula it keeps it there. It means to make his bottles I just have to mix it and cool it rather than wait for the kettle to cool too. Usually by the time I've changed his nappy I've cooled it enough by sticking it in a mug of cold water. I've added a link in case you're interested. It's not cheap but it's easily the best £50 I spent.

www.amazon.co.uk/ÜneeQbaby-Formula-Kettle-Thermostat-Feeding/dp/B07KRH1RSF/ref=asc_df_B07KRH1RSF/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310843171112&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3421394111891638219&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007363&hvtargid=aud-923872322877:pla-596686336737&psc=1

That went well brb.

shorturl.at/bgp59

This thread is hilarious. First few answers "you wont get judged for formula feeding you're in the majority"

250 answers later and formula feeding mothers are selfish, self absorbed, have less of a bond with their baby and unless they've abused haven't got an excuse for not trying to breast feed.

But dont worry OP, theres no judgement out there

@tiktok exactly which is why saying 95% of mothers can breastfeed. It comes from one research paper which had several limitations and looked only at a mother’s ability to produce milk and not any of these factors yet gets used all the time without little understanding of what the figure refers to.

Not true- this is based on a very small and poor research trial. It gets trotted out time and time again and simply isn’t true. It is also only about a woman’s ability to produce milk and doesn’t cover infant feeding factors

In sweden a fairly consistent 74% breastfeed until at least 4 months. 60 something % until 6months.

I can’t imagine the swedes are significantly different physically for their rates to be so much higher? Which means the UK’s low rates are probably more about culture and lack of (good) bf support and knowledge.

**sweden a fairly consistent 74% breastfeed until at least 4 months. 60 something % until 6months.

I can’t imagine the swedes are significantly different physically for their rates to be so much higher? Which means the UK’s low rates are probably more about culture and lack of (good) bf support and knowledge.

74% is still 21% off 95%. Their rates are better but this will be for a whole host of reasons. Obesity is one factor in ability to breast feed- their rate is lower than ours. Trotting out 95% of women can breast feed is harmful when it is based on one study and doesn’t mean what people think it means.

The OP’s didn’t want this to be a BF versus a FF debate so I won’t go into more. I just felt it was important to respond when someone gives figures which are shakey at best.

@amazedmummy ADSA sell it and they do an online order/delivery.

@Tictok I wholly appreciate that. And in my post I fully acknowledge the issue with the horrendous marketing tactics of formula companies.
For me, the biggest sway to that brand would be no palm oil.

I haven't used formula. I researched and made the "in event of emergency" choices known to my husband.

@bingbangbing
Because palm oil is "fit for human consumption" and fulfils the fat and calorie requirements and does a job.

Cadbury replaced the full cream in their chocolate with palm oil.... Remember their old logo and slogan "a glass and a half of full cream milk in every bar"? So I'm guessing it makes it thicker and it's a much cheaper ingredient than cow milk.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but I had a difficult labour and the second my tiny, vulnerable baby moved towards my breast I wanted to do nothing else. All I felt was love and he wanted to feed and be close to me, so I let him and it worked! Also I hated my breasts being touched before he was born. It's very different.

I've known people who were obsessed with the idea of bf but it never worked out for then.

One thing I would say is it's much easier to bf and bf mums get more sleep!