Out of curiosity - could you leave an 8 week old baby to go away for a few days with DH?

[helenelisabeth]

This is not for me by the way! My friend has just had a baby 8 weeks ago and I was gobsmacked that she has left the baby with her parents and gone away already. Is this normal and I am too over the top with my children to think that leaving them this young is not right? It's not her first child but even so, does anyone else think this is a bit young to be left?

HAHAHA at op with no kids (surely not!! tell me this is not your first)

it's very very easy to judge when you don't isn't it

oh yes
where is Mohze?

She has got one CD and 1 on the way.

No. The OP does have a child already.

The "why do they bother to have kids" line is ridiculous surely? You may as well say that of anyone who leaves their child at any age.

What a ridiculous thing to say Wilkie.

Has she posted since the holiday?

Am a bit concerned...

i don't buy the "why bother to have kids" because you have a night away from them
I went away for one night when my DS was 7 weeks old, and i was bfing. His grandma was in bliss having him for the night
maybe i am coming at this from a different angle though as my DS goes to nursery fulltime and has done since he was 6 months old and i see no issue with it myself, but judging by the MN archives there are plenty of opposing opinions on this as well

Haven't read the whole thread, but agree with WIckedWaterWitch.

I was encouraged my best friend (brilliant mother of 4, orgiansied, GP, lovely kids - I hate her ) to go out for dinner whe ds was 2 weeks old. Her view was the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. She is my guru on all matters childraising, as she is such a "together" lady, home cooks, walks the dog and her kids (ranging in age from 18 to 8) are all fantastic (did I mention I hate her )

I didn't go away for as long as a weekend when when ds was only 8 weeks, but I did go away for 9 days with dh when ds was 6 months old - having expressed enough to feed him for the 9 days, and expressing and storing while I was away (filled the chalet freezer!).

I enjoyed my time away - and I enjoyed seeing him when I got back

I don't think it is selfish to also look after yourself and not alwyas put the needs of the kids before your own. Personally, I think that that is not necessarily healthy - we still have needs as individuals as well as parents and you need to have a balance.

But I recongise that lots of people feel differently - and that some people almost physically cannot leave their children.

TiredEmma - I think you'll find I said 'each to their own' first. I am entitled to an opinion and no, I'm not being ridiculous - it's purely my opinion.

The thread title says a 'few' nights - one night maybe but a 'few' I personally think is wrong for such a wee one cos they need their mummies. They are still adjusting to the world around them.

At various stages with my four when they were very little I have been encouraged to go out, even if it's just for a quick afternoon shop, on occasions by dh or well meaning grandparents. Every time I did this I was stressed, tense and yearned for them. I hated being away from them at a visceral level and couldn't wait to get back to them. I'd have been much happier, and spent much longer shopping, if they were attached to me.

This is largely to do with the fact I was breastfeeding. But I find I don't want to spend even one night away from my babies until they are at least one and a half.

Luckily the youngest is now 2.5 which is why I've been here all alone for the past three days whilst DH takes all four of them camping on his own.

See, I don't have a problem with that. I really don't. But it's a big jump from saying "this is how I feel", to saying that "to not feel the same way is wrong".

My ex bosses left there 17 week old baby (and 4 year old and 8 year old) for 2 weeks wwhile they went away on holiday

With strict instructions for NO contact (unless emergancy) at all

Baby was starting 3 meals a day when they returned, having only had 1 meal per day when they left

couldn't do it

In response to anyone who thinks I (being the OP) don't have DC, I do, I have a 4 year old DD and another one due next week. Just to clear that up.

NannyL, I think that is shocking what your ex- bosses did. That does make me think "why have children".

while i agree it si shocking...

i also know that it saved their marriage...

there were lots of 'circumastances' that i wont go into on here, but ultimatley their whole family life has been much better because during that time my ex mummyboss and daddyboos could spend the time they needed together, in the knowledge that the older chidlren would be fine, they knew me so well, and also that the baby woudl be fine with me as well and ofcourse he was

They knew the chidlren were safe and happy with the person who (apart fromt their mum) knew them / their routine etc best... ie me!

NannyL Had you put the circumstances in your original post I wouldn't have found it shocking, I would have said it was essential to their family to do so.

it would have been too physically uncomfortable for me because of breastfeeding. I was already back at work at 8 weeks anyway but expressing every few hours. I wouldn't have been comfortable away. We did leave the 1 and 3 year old for a week when I was pregnant, with their nanny, grandmother and great aunt for a week. I think it was too long and we didn't repeat it again but I don't think the children suffered and it was a nice break.

I remember all the fuss when one of the royals left or didn't leave her baby, can't remember which one now, Diana or Fergie.

Ooh no, spend a few days with DH on our own? Terrible!
I wouldn't have liked this myself - I felt weird and jittery without DS for the first 6 mths, and was BF anyway (then back to work so no choice).
But that was all about my feelings (as it seems for lots of the posts here). I wouldn't have felt the baby would have suffered in the care of other loving relatives known to him.

I think it depends on whether you are breastfeeding (in which case it's pretty hard to leave an 8 week old baby) and whether you have a nanny or grandmother or some other person who has been with the baby every day since birth, knows the family intimately etc.

I certainly used to leave my baby with my mother a lot when she was tiny, though not overnight because of breastfeeding.

I actually think it is much less "shocking" to leave a small baby while a couple goes away together to cement their relationship than to leave a baby of the same age day in day out with a nanny while the parents work.

I know it is for work reasons, but what about women soldiers, sailors and air force, who sometimes go for months at a time, maybe not at 8 weeks, but I have minded some who have mothers away fro 6 months for 4-6 months, and then away again the same time the next year.

I know it is for work reasons, but what about women soldiers, sailors and air force, who sometimes go for months at a time, maybe not at 8 weeks, but I have minded some who have mothers away fro 6 months for 4-6 months, and then away again the same time the next year.

Shoshable - I don't know any women soldiers etc but I imagine they make the choice to have DC and get on with it the best they can. Again, not something I could do but if they have no other choice.

Yes i would and I have done.

couldn't go for more than a few days though

no I wouldn't have but my health visitor told me that it would be good for my health and wellbeing if I did.