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Original poster

Out of curiosity - could you leave an 8 week old baby to go away for a few days with DH?

271 replies

helenelisabeth · 31/08/2007 09:39

This is not for me by the way! My friend has just had a baby 8 weeks ago and I was gobsmacked that she has left the baby with her parents and gone away already. Is this normal and I am too over the top with my children to think that leaving them this young is not right? It's not her first child but even so, does anyone else think this is a bit young to be left?

OP posts:
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harpsichordcarrier · 31/08/2007 13:14

little babies do notice the absence of their parents though, I am not saying it is necessarily damaging, or that is isn't sometimes the right thing to do for the couple etc, but to suggest that an eight week old baby wouldn't mind seems a bit odd.
does anyone really believe that?
even new born babies are very attached to their mothers. of course other people can look after them perfectly well but that isn't the same as saying they are too little to notice

Original poster
helenelisabeth · 31/08/2007 13:15

Harpischord, at last someone who really thinks that an 8 week old MIGHT miss their parents!

OP posts:
Spidermama · 31/08/2007 13:16

I think it's unnatural and worrying. Wrong even.

There. I said it.

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WideWebWitch · 31/08/2007 13:16

Oh hang on OP, are you saying you haven't got any children yet?

maisemor · 31/08/2007 13:18

No.

Original poster
helenelisabeth · 31/08/2007 13:19

WWW I have a 4 year old DD and am due next week with DC2.

OP posts:
mm22bys · 31/08/2007 13:20

When DH and I were deciding to go away for our 10th wedding anniversary, me bf DS2 was really our only consideration. He would have been fine with my parents and aunt, but he had never had a bottle. It would not have been fair on any of us (him, us, my parents, my aunt) to make him take a bottle for a couple of days while we were away.

So we didn't go. The hotel said we could have taken him with us, but that would have defeated the whole point.

We still had dinner out though, and there's always next year.....

tiredemma · 31/08/2007 13:22

I would. Not for a week but definately for a few days with someone I trust (grandparent.

WideWebWitch · 31/08/2007 13:23

Oh ok helenelisabeth

Oh well. I am unnatural and wrong and lacking as a mother then. Because I love leaving my children and going off to swanky hotels with my husband. And I did so when dd was small and when ds was small (Ex MIL had him) and I'd do it again if I had any more, which I'm not going to so it's a moot point.

Caroline1852 · 31/08/2007 13:25

Given that the majority say they would like to do it but would not. I wonder if the majority would not leave their 8 week old baby for a weekend alone with their DH/DP because it would reflect badly on them as mothers or because they genuinely believe their baby would suffer whilst in the care of another person.
I fear it is the former.

tiredemma · 31/08/2007 13:26

Like WWW- I enjoy time away from my children. Its nice to have a break with dp/friends. Have done it since both were weeny babies.

Piffle · 31/08/2007 13:27

no wya for me I breasfeed and no way could I bear it
Would happily bog off with baby on our own and leave the others though

pooka · 31/08/2007 13:48

I wouldn't not do it because of what other people would think, but because I genuinely think that babies that small should be with their mothers.

Pruners · 31/08/2007 13:49

Message withdrawn

Wilkie · 31/08/2007 13:50

I couldn't

Each to their own I suppose although it does make me wonder why they bothered having a baby

expatinscotland · 31/08/2007 13:51

That 6-8 weeks stage is when they twig they're not in the mummy anymore and cry a lot.

Aw, I just remember carrying them around in the sling all the time at that stage.

How I would put them in their growbag and lay them next to me on the bed.

OrmIrian · 31/08/2007 13:51

Couldn't give a flying stuff what anyone else would say TBH. I wouldn't want to leave my baby at that age for a week.

JodieG1 · 31/08/2007 13:51

I wouldn't as I wouldn't want to leave the baby, if I wanted to go away with dh I'd go before the baby was born or when the baby was older, or take baby too.

Cloudhopper · 31/08/2007 13:52

I couldn't have done it, but would not necessarily condemn someone who did.

Caroline1852 · 31/08/2007 14:11

Surely it depends on the circumstances. Perhaps the friend was horribly depressed and really needed a break.
I have never done it by the way, but I do not think the way I do things is necessarily best for everyone. My DD is 21 months old and I have been out without her three times. My LO is 6 weeks and I went out for the first time last night - with my sister for dinner (and a girly catch up) - and left DP at home alone with the little ones. I felt like a new woman getting out of the house for a few hours. Perhaps it is just a bigger version of that need.

Caroline1852 · 31/08/2007 14:12

That post is wrong. I have had a babysitter for my 21 month old only 3 times. Lots of times I have been out without her and left her with DP.

Chelseamum · 31/08/2007 14:25

in response to the OP ... i wouldn't!

I didn't have the urge to spend time with DH after this tiny person has taken so long to get to this world....I first left my daugther for 3 days with my mum when she was 14 months!

Not a chance I will in the future!

Nbg · 31/08/2007 14:29

Dh and I plan to go away for a couple of days when our 3rd will be 6 weeks.

I will feel a bit odd leaving him as I have never left my children to go away but its only 2 days and he will be in good hands.

WideWebWitch · 31/08/2007 16:18

bloody hell, a woman goes away for a few days and gets remarks like 'wonder why they bothered having a baby' - that's harsh imo Wilkie.

Tortington · 31/08/2007 16:19

haven't read the thread deliberatley as i think there will be overtones of that mumsnetter who went to the dominican republic - forget her name.

in answer to the op

in a shot.