Out of curiosity - could you leave an 8 week old baby to go away for a few days with DH?

[helenelisabeth]

This is not for me by the way! My friend has just had a baby 8 weeks ago and I was gobsmacked that she has left the baby with her parents and gone away already. Is this normal and I am too over the top with my children to think that leaving them this young is not right? It's not her first child but even so, does anyone else think this is a bit young to be left?

Hell. Night time was when I was most desperate to get way...

Fab post scummy ... as always ...

My sister was delighted to get her mitts on my DS ... and very much enjoyed telling me what a good baby he had been while I was away ... "He hardly cried at all!"

Apart from the fact that I bf my babies, then yes I think I could have done.

Sorry Ghosty, but PMSl at the 8 pages of typed instructions. Were they single or double spaced. Font 8?

No, maybe for a few days but not weeks as like WWW said it would be good to come back recharged and fresh.

I can remember letting my ex have dd for a fortnight when she was about ten months - we split when she was a few months old so he was used to being with her.

Adding to previous comments about bonding I always think that this two weeks away from me at ten months did her a lot of psychological harm, she clung to me sobbing when she returned and was very difficult for a long time.

I left him a full instruction manual including a plan for all her meals, suggested activities, what outfits went together, where she was devlopmentally and where we were going next, her faviurite games etc. The word anal is often used to describe me.

I would be more likely to leave a baby with grandparents so that me and dp could have time together as experience ahs taught me that a baby places a lot of pressure on a relationship and I do think that doing things together to keep that relationship alive is important for the children as well as you.

no, i wouldn't....or couldn't!

Funny you should ask this, I was talking to DH about this the other day.

We have been invited to his 10 aniversery dinner for working for the same company and it's on 3rd November, but i due anytime with our 2nd.

My mum will be looking after them for the night for us, dd will 3.10 and baby will be about 8 - 10 weeks old. We didn't think twice about it, but if this had been when dd was the same age we wouldn't have even thought about going.

just thinking about this, I know I wouldn't or couldn't, even now and Ds4 is 7.5 months but in funny sort of way I kind of admire people who can.

I'm not envious of the time they get away because personally I'd much rather spend time with my teeny newborn then spend the night in hotel in a strange bed but to be able to let go and hand them over to someone else for x amount of time must be quite....ummmm....liberating.

No, I couldn't do it. We went out for dinner once or twice, leaving dd with my mum, and even that was harrowing (for me! dh was fine with it).

If the baby was a screamer (like DS was), then i'm sure i would have no problem in going away for a couple of days to regenerate!!

Has anyone else noticed a sort of pride in "macho mothering"? Leaving tiny babies, going out clubbing when the baby is weeks old, running fashion shows from the labour ward. It feels that this is sometimes held up in some sections of the press as the ideal and the rest of us are making a fuss about the whole business.

I would love to go away for a few days when my unborn LO (39 weeks pg) is a few weeks old but the factors are in that I couldn't"-

1. No-one to look after LO and DD1
2. Breastfeeding
3. No money as renovating house!
4. Would feel like people would judge me!
5. Guilt.

Eh? Have you changed your mind? About it being too young.

Unless there is expressing/bf issues I don't see why not. With my first baby I seem to remember 8 weeks seeming really old as those early weeks are so full on they seem to go on for ages.

'macho mothering'? What's that then? Sounds like a load of bollocks to me. Or is it yet another stick with which to beat women? So if you go back to work/leave your baby/go, heavens forbid out anywhere when you've a baby then you're guilty of macho mothering? What fkingf?

(btw I don't feel any 'pride' at having left my dd for 2 nights when she was a baby, I just absolutely 100% did not believe it would damage her in any way plus I wanted to do it plus I had lovely family who were very happy to look after her. But neither did I feel any guilt. Why should I?)

Tellus, note point 5 on my post - GUILT! That is the reason why I would not leave a young baby, I would feel guilt as they were so young. No, I have not changed my mind. I could not leave an 8 week old baby.

wtf is macho mothering?

I read "macho mothering" as a response to "martyr mothering" WWW.

personally nope, struggled to leave my 8 month old baby at my dad's when I was just going to a concert, but I am obviously an over anxious mother.... and I bf'd both children until they were 14 months.... though I did manage to force myself to go to a wedding in America by the time my first dd was coming up for two....

A lot of the guilt around mothering is pointless.

But hey, threads like this one prove that the majority of people on mumsnet (which I agree is not a representative sample) feel it is wrong to leave a 2 month old baby.

Oh well. I don't.

OK. I'm confused.

So when you say you would love to go away for a few days...?

WWW I think what was meant is that the press show certain celebs who drop babies, lose the weight extra fast, next thing is baby is being babysat whilst celebs are out on the piss. Most mature mothers would realise this is not the ideal but some impressionable new mums might think this is how you should be as a mother. I could not imagine going out on the piss and coping with a young baby!

Well everyone who is a new mother WOULD LOVE to get away, but not every new mother WOULD go away.