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Original poster

MIL booked a weekend away

354 replies

poppet85 · 07/01/2020 07:16

My mother in law has booked a weekend away for her birthday for the family. Though she's booked it a good 5 hour drive away from us on a weekend term time .
For the rest of the family is about a 2 hour drive so easy to go up after school and their children are all much older . We have a 5 year old and 3 year old so traveling long distances isn't excatly straight forward.
I don't drive so my husband has to do it all ,he thinks we should take our son out of school on the Friday to make it easier and gets very defensive if I say otherwise. It would also me taking time off work
I really don't want to ,he loves school and we put alot of time getting him there etc .
I just feel it's very unfair on us she could have picked a half way place to make it easier or around the holiday time . She didn't check with us she just booked it .
I feel pressure to take my son out of school even though we've been put in this situation

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EasterIssland · 07/01/2020 07:41

Id not go. I’ve got the days counted for this year for the things I want to do so taking a day off means going unpaid (I know this might not be your scenario but it might as well be)
5 hours each way for me personally it’s a big drive. It’d take me less time to fly to my parents for their bdays and i don’t do it

If she wanted everyone to be there she’d have found a place with easier access to everyone.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/01/2020 07:42

@ineedaholidaynow to be fair if it's a big family and MIL is paying for it anyway it doesnt really matter who can and can't attend. She could have paid for a big farmhouse that sleeps 20. It'd be the same price whether there's 12 or 20 so easier just to book and then people can come or not come, than trying to facilitate what everyone else wants and never ending up booking anything

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 07/01/2020 07:42

Ha! I don't believe for one moment that some of the posters on here would be so relaxed about being summonsed like this by their own family.

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Verily1 · 07/01/2020 07:42

If dp is fine to drive 3pm to 8pm isn’t that bad?

It’s a pain but you can rest / relax in car?

user1493413286 · 07/01/2020 07:43

Is it a big birthday? And would this become a regular thing? I have no issue with taking children out of school for holidays every so often as I think children learn a lot from them but I’d be worried this would set a precedent that you’ll regularly do this.
Maybe send DH up there with the 3 year old

hidinginthenightgarden · 07/01/2020 07:45

I wouldn't be bothered about school for one day but I would be bothered that she hadn't considered the practicalities for your family when booking. I would probably compromise by collecting your son at lunch time.

SallyWD · 07/01/2020 07:47

It's not ideal but I'd do it. Take your son out of school for a day and set off early. Enjoy it!

CosmoK · 07/01/2020 07:48

nextphone maybe some of us like spending time with our family. I would see it as a nice thing ....not being summoned.
We travelled 8 hours for sil's birthday a few years ago ....DS was 2 so we just planned lots of stops.

Gizlotsmum · 07/01/2020 07:49

Is there a chance DH was checked with and agreed? He doesn't seem to have an issue with it so could he have known?

DobbinOnTheLA · 07/01/2020 07:49

What do you mean about time you put in getting him there?
You could pick him up at lunchtime. 1/2 a day isn't so dramatic.

It can be hard to find the right size accommodation that suits everyone. I don't think it being a 2 hour drive for most means anything, is the weekend close the her birthday?

Original poster
poppet85 · 07/01/2020 07:52

It's a big birthday , and yes I have to save my annual leave to cover school holiday . The kids are terrible at traveling and joking time says between 4:30-6:30hrs during the day time because of potential traffic.
The alternative would be to do it in the weekend but that's a lot of driving , I wouldn't not go .

OP posts:
sarahjconnor · 07/01/2020 07:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fochit · 07/01/2020 07:52

Are people really not prepared to take a day off to celebrate their MILs birthday?

BendingSpoons · 07/01/2020 07:55

I'd be annoyed. I would not want to drive 5 hours each way with young children if I didn't have to. They haven't really considered you, as like you say, they could have travelled in another direction.

IwishIcan · 07/01/2020 07:56

I bet it wont be a one off.

What would you do if you had no A/L left to take?

sameasiteverwasantiques · 07/01/2020 07:57

It's one day and your child is 5 so won't miss much. Make it an adventure for the children and who knows you might actually have fun. The kids will no doubt sleep for a little while too.

Sirzy · 07/01/2020 07:58

He’s 5, missing one day or half a day won’t make any impact long run but having good memories of a fun weekend with his extended family will have a positive impact

snappycamper · 07/01/2020 07:58

I'd be annoyed. I would not want to drive 5 hours each way with young children if I didn't have to. They haven't really considered you, as like you say, they could have travelled in another direction.

This. They haven't shown you any consideration here at all. 10 hours driving over a school weekend with 2 little ones is awful. You'll all have a shit time, no matter whether you take the day off or not.

Fochit · 07/01/2020 07:58

If you left after school you would still be there by evening.
Is 5hrs really that far? Confused

NothingIsGoing2GetBetterItsNot · 07/01/2020 08:02

And it's a Big birthday! Definitely go, I Know it's a pain but do it for DH and kids time with cousins (my two love their older cousins) if nothing else, and try to chill about these occasions a bit - you might even have fun! 😁

Missc2001 · 07/01/2020 08:02

Could you take a half day off at work, or even go in early if you have flexible working time, have your husband get everything ready in the morning and leave early afternoon.

Elindab · 07/01/2020 08:02

5 hours with restless, screaming kids? No. What a nightmare. People are so weird.

CosmoK · 07/01/2020 08:02

Why will the all have a shit time? There really are some negative people on here.

AgathaVanHelsing · 07/01/2020 08:03

YANBU op I wouldn't go either. Fuck that just for a weekend!

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 07/01/2020 08:03

Parents need to arrange childcare for 13 weeks of school holidays in a year, on average, so yes, taking a day off for a parent's birthday isn't a minor thing.