At what age did you allow your dc's to help themselves to food eg biscuits, cheese, grapes?

[FLIER]

Just wondered, as I don't really allow my just turned 4 yo to help himself to anything, but his cousins help themselves to biscuits and all sorts.
All our cupboards still have locks on them, as he has a younger sibling now.

Mine help themselves to fruit from as soon as they are able, tbh

Also rice cakes, snacks from the fridge (yoghurt/cut up carrot/cut up cucumber/cubes of cheese etc)

i don't mind them helping themselves to healthy snacks but don't let them grab biscuits/buns etc.

I tend to have bits and pieces ready in the fridge (see last post!) for them. I think your DS is old enough

mine are allowed to lift apples/bananas etc as they want. they have to ask if its a biscuit though. i think 4 is ok so long as he doesnt raid the biccie jar constantly

He deffo is old enough and I feel I'm holding him back now. I'll need to start getting organised and putting things in his reach in the fridge. Like you say, I don't mind them having that sort of access to healthy snacks.
I suppose, tho, that I do try to keep tabs and limits on in between snacks as he hardly ever finishes "sit down" meals, so thats probably my reasons behind not allowing him to help himself.

Flier I think you've had good reason not to let him snack, but perhaps you could tell him taht he CAN help himself provided he eats well at mealtimes and see how it goes?

He will probably really enjoy the independence and it might encourage him to eat more at lunchtime so he doesn't lose his "snack priviledges"

DS1 (severely autistic 8) helps himself to everything. Locks don't keep him out- or at least I haven't found one that will, and he climbs up to get anything high. DS3 learned from about 15 months to follow ds1 around and so get fed. It's a constant battle, although I do find it quite funny when I stumble on one of their picnics.

9 children. Mine have all had to ask before they have anything. If they didn't then I'd have nothing left to eat in the house within 10mins Even the older ones still ask.
Once they've asked and it's something they are physically capable of doing (my 4yo would have trouble making herself egg on toast) then they get it themselves.

gess- I had problems with my ds when he was younger with climbing to the higher cupboards to get things, but thankfully it stopped. Have you tried the magnetic door locks?

Thanks MamaG. My DS is so independent in every other way, so I feel it is doing him a disservice NOT to do this, so will give it a go as you suggest, might tie it in with a reward chart, as this helped with mealtimes at the beginning of the summer.

Juuule - I guess it depends what works best for you Thanks though.

9 children

Yes, 9, so you can imagine the potential for chaos if I just said 'help yourself'.

He can open them flier- just yanks them hard, or searches for the key thing. DS3 is easily foiled (as is ds2) but knows to follow his biggest brother around..... We hide particularly favourite foods (apples at the moment- ds1 would eat a whole packet in one sitting) in rotating hiding places but that means I can never find them and have to ring my mum frequently to ask where she's put them (having looked in the washing and on top of cupboards and in the back of the fridge etc.)

Roll on the new school term!

I am with MamaG. Fruit is allowed and available at all times. Carrot sticks too. Biscuits/crisps/cakes/sweets are not allowed except after meals. Why not make it a challenge to them to achieve their five-a-day? I have occasional spurts with that and sometimes it works if they get a reward or something at the end of it.

juuule, I am impressed that you have 9 children and still find time for MN!

Flier,
my DCs have been doing selfservice since they were old enough to figure out the fridge locks although they normally ask. Fruit and rice cakes etc are fine, but not just before a meal.

When we were on holiday last year DS got up early and went through to the kitchen. I assumed my Mum was up with him, she thought I had got up. Went through 10mins later, he was sitting at the table eating a yogurt, he was 2 at the time. very independant!

Multitasking dontcha know
Keep popping in and out.

I don't let my son help himself to food. It is stealing. A neurologically typical four year old can learn self control.

However if he asks nicely then I let my son have as much fruit as he likes. Biscuits are rationed although

Reallytired - stealing?

Mine help them selves to things and do as soon as they can its mostly helthy stuff water from the fridge, fruit, ice pops,
They have to ask for biscuits and sweets if they have already had one treat that day but they know thts the case and rarely even ask for more thn one

stealing? Surely not - it's self sufficiency and should be applauded.

ds1 (5) and ds2 (3) can help themselves to fruit which is accessible (this hardly ever happens though...). They have to ask for any other kind of snack and they know they can't have anything after 4pm - other than fruit.

When we're organised enough to chop up bits of fruit and leave around the place in small bowls, it's amazing how much they get through!

My kids ask - although dd2 does do the odd banana raid. Fruit is fine - biscuits are rationed. If they did take something though, it wouldn't be stealing, as this is their home.

Now then - in theory my four year old can help himself from the fruitbowl - but in practice when I allow this he will take 3 or 4 items, have a bit from each one and keep going.

So I make him ask - and if he asks, I scan the room and see if he finished the last one. I simply cannot afford for him to go through the cupboards willy nilly, and if I didn't carefully supervise him he would take it into his head to cook - or climb - or chop all the packets open with scissors - or other such destructive behavior.

My 16mth has access to where her snacks are and she is welcome to it (one thing at a time). Fruit is on a shelf because she takes a a bite out of each one or enjoys using them as balls ! She can have a piece of fruit any time though.

Tbh she doesn't really abuse it - she just eats when she is hungry. I like her being independent and controlling her appetite and what she eats (although obv I have overall control on what is available to her). I guess it depends on your child and whether they would eat the whole house even if not hungry!! (and obv it might change for us as she gets older)

"how is it stealing to take food from the kitchen in your own home? "

Would you consider it OK for a child to take money out of your purse? However healthy, food still has to be bought and paid for. My son cannot work as he is too little.

Prehaps the food in the cupboard is for other people in the family. Sometimes food is in a cupboard for a reason. For example I have got ingredients for a meal. Or maybe an apple is for his pack lunch tomorrow.

A neurological typical child of four is quite capable of learning self restraint and the concept of asking politely if they want a snack.