Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

we cancelled our son's 3rd birthday!!!

159 replies

yurtgirl · 19/09/2004 21:35

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
nutcracker · 19/09/2004 21:38

Hmmmm TBH it's not something I would have done.

I had to move my Dd2's 3rd birthday by 2 days as I was still in hospital after having Ds and TBH it broke my heart.

Your right in that he won't know, my Dd didn't either and still doesn't, but I do think it's a bit cruel, sorry.

nutcracker · 19/09/2004 21:39

Does he realise that it should of been his birthday and you cancelled it ?? Did you axctually tell him you cancelled it ??

mummysurfer · 19/09/2004 21:40

it depends on 2 things really

  • his level of understanding
  • 'his awful behaviour', we need more details

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General parenting
coppertop · 19/09/2004 21:40

I think 3yrs old is a little young to understand that he's not having a party because of unacceptable behaviour. It's not something I personally would have done.

Twiglett · 19/09/2004 21:42

message withdrawn

Original poster
yurtgirl · 19/09/2004 21:45

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
OldieMum · 19/09/2004 21:47

The father of a friend of mine did this to him when he was a child. He is now in his 40s and still remembers it! He thinks it was a harsh overreaction and wish his father hadn't done it. When I heard the story, I was shocked, I must admit.

OldieMum · 19/09/2004 21:48

.....wishes his father hadn't done it

Original poster
yurtgirl · 19/09/2004 21:48

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Slinky · 19/09/2004 21:49

I personally wouldn't have cancelled the party - purely because a 3yo wouldn't understand that he was being punished for something that happened in the past. The "punishment" (hate that word!) should be given out at the time of the "crime", so that the link can be made between "bad" and "good" behaviour.

tamum · 19/09/2004 21:51

If he's not bothered because he doesn't understand what it means I can't really see what the punishment is supposed to have achieved to be honest. He's too young, surely?

Original poster
yurtgirl · 19/09/2004 21:51

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
stupidgirl · 19/09/2004 21:51

I agree with Slinky, I think it was very harsh for a not-yet-3yr old

Hulababy · 19/09/2004 21:53

TBH it isn't something I would have done either. Seems a bit harsh for a three year old. But then I don't know how bad his behaviour has been to warrant it. Also, if you feel he doesn't understand that he is missing out by not having a party, is it really a punishment anyway?

hmb · 19/09/2004 21:54

I have not taken my dd to parties due to awful behaviour, but she didn't know that she was missing them IYSWIM, and I have never cancelled her own party. We went through a stage in the run up to christmas once when she became ever more hyper or out of control as the build up to christmas went on. We needed some 'time out' to calm down, so I cancelled some parties but she never knew about them. THree is young for this sorth of thimg I think

tamum · 19/09/2004 21:54

So what was the point then yurtgirl? Were you afraid he would behave badly at his party? I thought from your post it was a punishment.

Hulababy · 19/09/2004 21:55

I also kind of see it as a disappointment for his guests. Were other children invited?

Original poster
yurtgirl · 19/09/2004 21:57

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
PicadillyCircus · 19/09/2004 21:57

Was it a party that was cancelled or the whole birthday? I can't really imagine cancelling a birthday, especially if he had no idea it was coming anyway.

Hulababy · 19/09/2004 21:58

I guess it is just a caese of "if it works for you..." then.

Not for me, but everyone's different.

PicadillyCircus · 19/09/2004 21:58

Sorry yurtgirl, our posts crossed.

Original poster
yurtgirl · 19/09/2004 22:00

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Hulababy · 19/09/2004 22:04

So did you cancel it there and then? Time out for me is an immediate thing, not a planned one.

I just can't imagine not giving my DD her birthday presents at the right time, sorry. Probably more for me than here even

blossomhill · 19/09/2004 22:07

Whatever my children do or however bad the behaviour they will always get birthday presents and a party. That includes my nearly 7 year old. Must admit I have never felt that there behaviour is bad enough to warrant this kind of punishment anyway!

Thomcat · 19/09/2004 22:09

My honest opinion is that if he's not really aware of a party happenning and he's not really aware of presents then it's a strange punishment. He's upset you so you don't want to give him his presents. Well fine, but that's not a punishment if he doesn't know he's getting them or isn't aware of a party, is it.

If Charlotte had been naughty I would have dealt with her behavious at the time but wouldn't cancel a birthday no, I mean how bad can a 3 year old be? I don't know you'll maybe have to tell me. Cancelling her b.day would be punishing myself at this age. I can see me doing that with an unruly teen maybe.

Anyway, hope it all sorts itself out, that he behaves and you all enjoy yourselves.