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Original poster

we cancelled our son's 3rd birthday!!!

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yurtgirl · 19/09/2004 21:35

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TraceyP · 20/09/2004 13:38

Errr - what's a yurt?

JuniperDewdrop · 20/09/2004 13:40

I don't know either Trace lol is it a place of relaxation perhaps?

TraceyP · 20/09/2004 13:44

Sounds like it could be, but then again you never know!! I'm really curious now ...

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Original poster
yurtgirl · 20/09/2004 13:45

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Prettybird · 20/09/2004 13:45

Talking about challenging behavious, at the weeknd ds was being over physical with me (climbing over me and the couch) and after a few request asking him to stop and a warning, I then told him to go into the hallway (standard punishment).

He wouldn't go - but on this occasion, instead of carrying him there myslef, I just said, "FINE", gathered up my bits and pieces, and flounced out the room, shutting the door behind me and went into the kitchen.

A minute or two later, there was contrite little voice from the hallway, "....Mummy, I'm in the hallway now. Will you come back..... mummy....?"

Of course I did!

Original poster
yurtgirl · 20/09/2004 13:46

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JuniperDewdrop · 20/09/2004 13:49

Yurts sound good to me

I've tried that one too Prettybird but I go outside. Have even locked myself in the summerhouse but only when there's someone to watch them of course

JuniperDewdrop · 20/09/2004 13:49

So where are you from Yurtgirl?

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yurtgirl · 20/09/2004 13:52

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JuniperDewdrop · 20/09/2004 13:54

I think there's a few mums on here from sheffield? I'm in the NE so not that far really.

Are there any parks near to you?

Original poster
yurtgirl · 20/09/2004 13:55

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JuniperDewdrop · 20/09/2004 13:58

It isn't a big summerhouse but you're most welcome for a cuppa anytime

Papillon · 20/09/2004 13:59

here is the Yurt

Wobblyknicks recently opened a Yurt shop... but it is often closed over the Sunday, Monday period for testing and re-stocking

Hulababy · 20/09/2004 21:03

Hi again yurtgirl. Just wanted to say that I am from Sheffield too and we do have the occasional Sheffield/South Yorkshire meets.

We are trying to plan one of each currently on the meet up threads:

(a) South Yorkshire one - inpast this has been Friday lunch time at Zoobys/Winter gradens for a sandwich and drink, and a run around for the little ones. If noce we go into the Peace Gardens. Also been to Graves park for a picnic and YSP too.

(b) Currently planning a girl's night out to the Spa 1877, in the city centre on West Street. £15 for a 3 hour session in the spa rooms one evenong, currently thinking of a Thursday in November.

Have a look at the threads if you are interested in meeting up.

MammyShirl · 20/09/2004 21:12

A three year old is not old enough to understand this... this in my eyes is cruel.

... He would not even miss his birthday either.

My brother was hyperactive from the age of 2 - 4 years. He was very hard work but my mother would never and never did "punish" us for bad behaviour especially at that age.

At his age, bad behaviour needs to be acted on there and then not an hour or days later - it would not make any sense to them.

Hulababy · 20/09/2004 21:14

It's a nightmare sin't it mammyshirl. I really do hope it is just a slow time in general.

Hulababy · 20/09/2004 21:15

Sorry - wrong post to wrong poster on wrong thread???????????????

Original poster
yurtgirl · 20/09/2004 21:25

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MammyShirl · 20/09/2004 21:33

just had a quick read... sometimes just scan when i dont have time.

you did ask "was i cruel?"

not saying you are a big horrible meanie but your original message does sound cruel but now you explained you used the wrong words which makes you less cruel

but i would still not have done it

Original poster
yurtgirl · 20/09/2004 21:45

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yurtgirl · 20/09/2004 21:47

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JuniperDewdrop · 20/09/2004 21:58

Evening yurtgirl, and congrats on your baby dd
FWIW my DS1 changed a bit when DS2 was born. I know you don't think it's related but when you're a k* new mum you sometimes forget life b4 2 kids. My DS2 started stammering which was awful as he was very articulate. I was mortified in case people thought I was being awful to him. Well, I was a bit to be honest as I was shattered etc.. and nervous in case he hurt DS2. DS1 loved him from the beginning, just think he went off me a bit
I had borderline PND with DS1 which I blame on exhaustion amongst other things as he didn't sleep for almost a year and cried all the time, where as DS2 was very easy and I was ok apart from a ratbag.
Anyway, sorry for rambling. Just wanted to say I know where you're coming from and keep on posting

Shimmy21 · 20/09/2004 22:00

What a storm you've kicked up yurtgirl! It seems to me the point is not the postponed b-day but your feelings about ds1. I have been there too. Found 1stborn almost impossible for a while after ds2's birth and didn't always like him at all. Felt very guilty and a crap mum but eventually with time and effort things got better and now I cant believe I felt how I did. For ds1 to kick off after a sib is born is normal. For you to feel hostile to him is also normal. Don't worry -his behaviour and your feelings will change. I found just pretending to love him actually helped me to really love him. Does that make sense?

Chinchilla · 20/09/2004 22:04

It still seems to me that a party might have been a good thing for his behavious. Ds can be a real handful, and when he was smaller dh and I used to not take him places because he was so difficult. We soon realised though that he was better behaved when occupied, and that his 'bad' behaviour was partly due to being stuck indoors.

I also think that the behaviour that you describe is pretty typical for a 3 year old. My ds recently came out with, 'I don't like you Mummy', which I'm guessing he got from pre-school. It hurt, but I also knew that he was testing me and my love for him. Your ds is probably finding it hard not being an only child any more, and is attention seeking. Surely having the party for him as a 'special birthday boy' would have given him just that?

I still say that I don't think you are cruel, just that your actions are inappropriate for his age. Sorry if you don't want to hear that.

BTW - Welcome to MN. Good first thread!

MammyShirl · 20/09/2004 22:06

sorry about what i said... just thought about it and admit it was not very constructive...

that can happen on here though if you put things bluntly...

my opinion was that i would not do the same but i dont know your position and how you feel, i only have one baby and dont know the pressures of two so sorry if i p*ed you off