Do you judge parents who use reins?

[sqirrelfriends]

Just that really. My toddler has recently started walking and is showing interest in being out of his pram when out and about. He is enjoying his newfound independence and will absolutely not hold my hand anymore so I'm worried about keeping him safe and close without having to constantly run after him.

I bought some reins but have been told since that some mums have been receiving nasty comments and have felt really judged for using them (it's like you're walking a dog, lazy parenting etc.)

I was really just wondering what your opinions of them were and if they wouldn't use them, what the reasons would be?

Tia

I use them if we are in shop for example as she's too young to listen to me to hold my hand (18 months). I don't want her damaging something or hurting herself. At the park for example I'd let her run free... I find them useful in certain circumstances

I would think they are responsible parents who are being very sensible.

I would however, nip the child refusing to hold hands in the bud straight away. Child needs to learn that he's not the one in charge.

My DC1 needed reins. He was actually a little better than DC2 at hand holding, but he was a runner, and I was heavily pregnant. Not only did he run, but he would do so silently, so you could look away for a split second and he’d be gone. My DC2 didn’t need reins as though he wouldn’t hold hands at all, he also had no interest in running away and plodded along behind me/at my side. I’d definitely not judge people with reins as all children are different and all families have different needs. I like to see small children walking. If your child is a flight risk then reins are better than a child run over, because they can be so quick and the risks are so high.

I had no idea this was something judge-worthy.

Keeping your child safe from running into traffic and the like. I'd assumed that it was OK to do that.

I wouldn't say I judge but I really don't like to see little children on reins

I'll probably get flamed but honestly, I hate them.

I don’t see the problem with them, it’s just a way of keeping your child safe so they don’t run into the road or something. My DD isn’t quite walking yet but I’ve bought one of those backpacks with a ‘lead’-type thing attached and will have no hesitation in using it.

Reins are brilliant. And I wouldn't judge at any age, having friends with older children who are still flight risks with little road awareness.

Some people will judge anything. Who cares? You know your own child and your own situation. Make your own decisions for you own family and ignore the dicks.

I have a very active 21 month old and he agrees to holds hands when begging (screaming) to get out of pram, but the second he’s out he’s off in every direction. I could be in a car park or pavement, he will just run off. He is very well behaved, therefore “nipping it in the bud” is an interesting concept to teach a very young toddler. If there is something I’m missing, I’m open for advice however bargaining with a toddler about their safety when they’re still under two and unable to comprehend safety is not always possible.

Do what is right for your child

I do think reins are weird - but I grew up in another country. I did resort to a tether attached to my three year olds wrist and the push chair when in Paris as the pavements were narrow and traffic alarming!
Otherwise I had my child hold onto the pushchair (which my daughter was in) rather than my hand and he found that acceptable. It was hard to hold his hand and push the pushchair anyway!

I don’t have one, but wouldn’t judge another parent

I always used reins on my children, in a crowded place or somewhere with potential dangers ( water, roads, etc)

I also used them on my charges when I childminded, in the same situation.

I stated in my handbook that I did.
I didn’t take children that parents wouldn’t agree to it.

My brother who was a policeman, was of the ‘ they Are not dogs’ attitude.

At a large open aired market, my brother let go of his 2 year olds hand to pay for a item. Turned around and DN was gone

She was missing for a heartstoping 45 minutes before being found.

He still wouldn’t use them.

Twunt

I don't judge at all. For some little ones, reins are absolutely necessary to keep them safe.

Safety first. Personal choice. Nothing to judge.

I wouldn't, and I intend to use them when the time comes. I wore them as a child. As a PP has said, some people will pass judgement on anything to do with other people's children... 🙄 Do what works for your family.

Perfectly fine.
My DD was a runner and a hand-hold-refuser. Would result in temper tantrums if I tried to hold her hand or put her in the buggy if she wanted to walk. So reins it had to be.

Frankly I would give a fig for people judging me about reins - better that than a child running into on-coming traffic.

@caughtinanet do run over children look better to you? Why on earth do you hate them?

OP, Im a retired doctor. I can still remember, (30 years later, because it was so heartbreaking), having a toddler in ITU, brain damaged, blind, and with multiple fractures. He was holding his mother’s hand on the pavement. In a split second, he pulled his hand free and ran into the road, to be hit by a car.
I bought reins for my own two DC. I didn’t care what other people thought - I wasn’t risking my two ending up like that.
Less dramatically, reins are great when they’re still unsteady on their feet, because you can jerk the rein up if they fall, stopping them skinning their knees on the concrete. It saves damaging the knees of their dungarees too.
Please can I urge all mums to use them - they’re life saving.

I use them while also trying to hold my DDs hand; she tries to slip out of my hand constantly and it gives me a bit of peace of mind.

I love our reins. Why do people judge them? I have a very active, curious and excitable little boy. Reins mean that he can't accidentally run into traffic and be killed. Sometimes you need both hands to do something- get your keys out, find the bus pass, carry shopping etc.

What on Earth is there to judge?

These have been around for decades. I wore them in the 40s, my daughter had them in the 70s and my grandchildren had them. No one ever commented on them, it's just nowadays that people are so judgemental.

I’ve used reins with all 3 DC - my youngest is 2.5 yrs and still in reins when we’re out and about.

I’ve never had any nasty comments about it or noticed any negative reactions from anyone when I’ve had the DC out with their reins on.

And at the end of the day, I don’t really care if other people judge me for using them because they think I’m being a lazy parent or whatever.

I used reigns. They were especially useful when I had a baby in the pram and a walking toddler because I could attach the reigns to the handles and steer the pram with both hands. I never heard anyone say anything about us.

I would have judged. But then I read a story on here about a lady whose husband refused to put reins on their twins despite her asking him to. One twin died after running into traffic.

Now I don't judge.

Never.

There are lots of different types of children, some need them for safety.

It would be like judging someone for using a seatbelt.