Do you judge parents who use reins?

[sqirrelfriends]

Just that really. My toddler has recently started walking and is showing interest in being out of his pram when out and about. He is enjoying his newfound independence and will absolutely not hold my hand anymore so I'm worried about keeping him safe and close without having to constantly run after him.

I bought some reins but have been told since that some mums have been receiving nasty comments and have felt really judged for using them (it's like you're walking a dog, lazy parenting etc.)

I was really just wondering what your opinions of them were and if they wouldn't use them, what the reasons would be?

Tia

Reins are great, I would think you are a very sensible parent. Kid wrangling is difficult, and reins help to give you a lot more confidence and control.

I remember wearing my reins as a child! I loved them. They were red and I remember they made me feel like a reindeer, which at the time was clearly a good thing.

Ignore the haters.

Ds walked at 9 months and refused to get back in the push chair.

I had a 2 year old as well who liked to run.

The reins I could find were really short so I attacked extendable dog leaves.

I couldn’t care less about people judging me.

I would rather be judged and know my children are safe.

Yes I do!

I think reins are wonderful to allow your toddler some independence and to stop them running into danger.

I also think even when you are out with your child you can not watch them every single second for example. in a shop paying for something, checking for traffic etc and all it takes is a split second for a child to break free from your grip or get lost in a crowd.
I think the parents are sensible.

I used them until half way through reception year with my youngest as he has asd and couldn’t be trusted not to bolt off

I’ve always held his hand too and at 6 he’s really good at holding my hand, if he wasn’t he’s be back on reins

Oh and yes even on farms etc

I had a sprinter. Reins were a must.

Reins are great. I used them on DS1 because he refused to hold my hand - started off with harness type then a little life backpack which he loved because it looked like a dinosaur. My twins go on reins which are fastened around my waist so I'm hands free and can sort one out without the other legging it. I get odd looks but I don't really give a flying fuck because I know exactly where they both are and neither of them can run out into traffic.

I use reins! Happily. I have one of the little backpacks with the rein attached. My son wasn't a great hand holder but it meant I felt he was safe while teaching him to hold hands. I've never had anyone comment negatively; in fact many people ask where his backpack is from (Little Life if you were wondering).
I think reins are a great compromise between giving your child independence and keeping them safe.
One thing I don't do and I wouldn't like to see us kids being yanked about with them. If my son runs off, I run after him and catch him by the hand as if the rein wasn't attached.

I used reins for all of my three. They had a straight choice if we were out and they wanted to walk - reins or pushchair. That was it!

I'm much more likely to negatively judge parents who don't use them than parents who do.

I just don't get the "children are not dogs" logic. Surely responsible dog owners have their dogs on reins not just for other people's safety but for the safety of the dog?

How much more, therefore, should a child be kept safe and secure?

Titiana thank you - I don’t think people realise quite how full on / how much of a logistical nightmare it is until you’ve done it! But thank you for looking after your friend’s twins, that’s so kind of you and not many people are so brave!

Having said that, just last week we were at a quiet beach and a father had a leash on his child, I did judge. Just let the child free to play and enjoy!

Oh yes a beach, no hazards there whatsoever... 🙄

I passed a couple whose toddler was wearing reins when I went to the supermarket. I really wanted to stop and say how it was great to see them being used and keeping their child safe, but I am too cowardly so I said to my husband how lovely it was to see, (in a loud enough voice that they would hear!). I really hope that they don't get negative comments.

DS isn’t walking yet but I’ll definitely use them if we need to! No judgement here.

I remember enjoying my reins as a toddler! I felt like a husky or something. Don’t think I wore them past about 3 but have weirdly distinct memories of it!

I don't like them. My husband got them when ds started walking, I refused to use them as I found them more trouble than they're worth

I rarely see reins and how sad if that’s because of perceived judgment. I totally get why they are a life saver (literally) for a short time and for practical reasons. Obvs they aren’t great in and of themselves but ffs can’t imagine judging women for yet another thing !

happymummy12345

I take it your child isn’t a runner.

If they judge they have clearly never experienced a one year old who can turn into Usain Bolt in the blink of an eye whilst walking round Tesco express.

It’s truly amazing (in a bad way) just how far and how fast a bolting toddler can run if they’ve got a mind to.

Parents need to learn to not give a fuck and grow a thick skin 🙄

A few days ago there was a thread going about a woman wanting to swap to bottles because breastfeeding was working and she was worried about being judged at a group. Seriously people you need to grow a thick skin and not give two fucks about what others think.

I didn’t realize until I came on this thread last night that others would judge toddler reins It’s so sad now that parents are so easily judged and criticized. Something I’ve definitely learnt is that every child is different and what works for one won’t necessarily work for another.
When my toddler was little I was in a cafe, I’d sat down and was making up a bottle as quick as I could. Little one was crying and a man huffily glared at me, muttered something under his breath then moved seats (id already made sure not to sit too close to anyone with my crying baby). Anyway, I felt awful, a lady kindly came over to rock the pram and helped settle little one. I apologized so much but she reassured me. I’ll never forget her as she was so lovely, I always make sure I offer to help if I can.

What is there to judge???

Of course not, they are absolute life savers!

I never realised that some people apparently DO judge parents who use reins until I read it on Mumsnet.

I also never realised that lots of people do not have toilet brushes or bathroom bins, and quite an unusual number of people seem to wash their towels after every use. It's been an education!

It’s so sad now that parents are so easily judged and criticized
It's more than sad, its ridiculous, intrusive and insulting
As long as someone is acting in the best interests of the child and family people need to learn to zone out from critics. It seems theses days everyone is an expert at criticising and having an opinion about things that is fuck all to do with them.
For what its worth reins are great. Ds1, as a toddler, didn't like having his hand being held and was a wriggler. He would often break free or just sit himself on the floor and refuse to move. He was happy in reins as he liked running and loved to explore. They worked well for us with both kids.

gerbilfun I wholeheartedly disagree. What people need to do is stop judging and criticising mothers for doing their best, especially when that thing isn’t force-feeding your child vodka, but rather something that could save their life. What next, criticising car seats? Buggy straps? It’s bloody ridiculous.

Even on this thread, where we’ve discussed the death of a child, countless close calls, and parents who have children with additional needs who absolutely rely on these things, there are still people saying they “harshly judge” parents using reins in parks, beaches etc.

It’s not pleasant to go through your days being judged by other people just for trying to be a good parent. Talking to your child? You’re performance parenting. Ignoring your child? Not fit to be a mother. Letting your child cry? Selfish. Giving your child an iPad so they don’t cry? Irresponsible.

The same people who harshly judge reins users are no doubt the same ones condemning the mother if their child falls into the lake at the park or runs into the road.

How about people just stop being nasty judgemental bitches? Not having a thick enough skin is not the problem.

No, reins are brilliant! And quite literally can be a lifesaver