Do you judge parents who use reins?

[sqirrelfriends]

Just that really. My toddler has recently started walking and is showing interest in being out of his pram when out and about. He is enjoying his newfound independence and will absolutely not hold my hand anymore so I'm worried about keeping him safe and close without having to constantly run after him.

I bought some reins but have been told since that some mums have been receiving nasty comments and have felt really judged for using them (it's like you're walking a dog, lazy parenting etc.)

I was really just wondering what your opinions of them were and if they wouldn't use them, what the reasons would be?

Tia

I'djidge you as a responsible parent who knows what it takes to keep their kid safe, and who cares more about their child's safety than the opinions of Mrs Perfect Mummy

I used reins for exactly the same reason my dogs are on leads in areas where they aren't safe! Ds wasn't a bolter, but dh and I are tall and it wasn't comfortable to hold the hand of a child who had to have his arm up to do so. And we didn't use a pushchair, so ds either walked or was in a sling. Reins were convenient to carry and meant in shops or places I needed both hands he was still under my control.

I have a reins backpack for DS. I'm trying to make sure he wears it whenever we go out as I'm getting him used to them. When we go on holiday to Disney World in a few months I don't want to be losing him in a crowd.
We did actually forget to take them out yesterday. Went to a retail park and it was really frustrating. He refused to stay in the pram as he's loving his new found independence. He only started walking properly a month ago just after his 2nd birthday. He also refused to hold our hands. He was good and didn't run off anywhere but with lots of cars I needed to have hold of him. We ended up carrying him between shops. I'm not forgetting them again anytime soon.

Thank you for all your comments. I really thought I was being a paranoid first time mum, some of your stories are absolutely terrifying and I'm feeling much more resolute about the decision the use them.

I would have used reins anyway, now I'll just do so feeling a bit better about it and ready for the negative comments.

In terms of hand holding, DS is just so excited by walking and exploring that he has no interest in holding my hand, he also isn't one yet and not the best listener so not much chance of "nipping it in the bud" just yet. I will hold his hand as well, I just like the idea of a backup in case he runs off.

I would judge them as sensible parents who have decided it's the safest option for their kids in their particular circumstances.

I don’t understand why anyone would think negatively of a parent keeping their child safe when out and about.

I don't understand the dog argument- you put dogs on reins so THEY don't run about and get injured, so why not your children?

Strange!

I judge people positively for them, toddlers are utter bastards for running off and leaping out in front of cars.

i never used them myself but I think if theyre stopping your child stepping into the road or running away theyre a good thing. ignore other peoples comments - they have no idea about your life or your child.

Better reins than a dead child.
I am not exaggerating. There is a poster on here whose child was killed because her husband didn't put the reins on one of their toddler twins.
I had a bolter and I used reins so he could use up a bit of energy walking and exploring rather than being strapped in the push chair all the time.
Holding hands is very uncomfortable for little children and they are at risk of shoulder and elbow dislocation if they fall.

I would judge them as being great parents who want to keep their dc safe, whilst giving them the freedom to toddler / walk about without having to hold hands all the time.

I don't know why people would feel the need to comment. I've not experienced it as I haven't actually and everything I've heard has been from other mums with older children who have had comments from various people and it made them feel like they weren't up to scratch.

I'm sure not everyone feels this way but I do feel some pressure to be the "perfect" mum and have received "helpful" advice from multiple sources. This seems to be an impossible task as everyone's perception seems to be completely different. Most do mean well and think they're being helpful in order to correct some sort of error.

DH feels no such pressure, if anyone comments then it's about how wonderful he is

I used them. Luckily I don’t give a shite what other people think of me.

I use reins. I wouldn't if I didn't need to but my two year old bolts ( & finds it hilarious) & hes really bloody fast! Rather he was safe than running into the road so if people chose to judge so be it. I would never judge anyone else for it, I know what its like. Some kids wont run off & some will, it's about what suits each one

My DD used to hang in hers trying to pirouette on one leg so I ended up with a strap,one end around her wrist and one on mine.Very useful when you have to let go of a hand to pay for something.Its amazing how fast a 2year old can move.

I'd judge you!...I'd think you were a sensible parent!

My DS has only just started walking and he's already a bolter! Brought some reins and he seems happy enough with them. He doesn't always want to hold hands which is fine (in some circumstances) so the reins are a bit of extra security. I think we're in the minority though as I haven't seen many people using them!

@sqirrelfriends of course, your DH will be wonderful if he changes one nappy or takes the baby for a walk "to give you a break". Or sucks. I am really sensitive to judgey comments and stares and it's hard. Wish I could tune out.

Ride over that "pressure to be the perfect mum" - it's the mother's equivalent to teens angsting over Instagram perfect lives. It's all lies.

Look at little life they do back backs with reins I use it on my DS at times like others have said judge the situation he's 2 years old and occasionally he's really good and will hold my hand but I use them when we are walking near busy roads as a back up if he were to all of a sudden let go of my hand he's always loved walking and has preferred doing so since he was 16 months old would prefer walking than being in his pram

I absolutely love them, didn't need them for my first, but for my second they have been a life saver, it keeps him happy as he doesn't want to hold my hand and me happy because he is safe.
I judge people who judge people who use reins!

@2beautifulbabs I'm looking forward to getting ours one of these in due course. Added bonus that they can carry their own snack/ change of socks/pants 😁

@DDIJ I used a retractable dog lead attached to the harness! DS1 was a runner and I had SPD and on crutches. No way was I letting him loose. The dog lead meant I could let him run at the park without me having to chase him.

Plus the harness has little rings so you can clip them into a high chair. He was a real Houdini unless strapped in or clipped to something.

my 2 yo dd has reigns. I think they should be compulsory.