Do you judge parents who use reins?

[sqirrelfriends]

Just that really. My toddler has recently started walking and is showing interest in being out of his pram when out and about. He is enjoying his newfound independence and will absolutely not hold my hand anymore so I'm worried about keeping him safe and close without having to constantly run after him.

I bought some reins but have been told since that some mums have been receiving nasty comments and have felt really judged for using them (it's like you're walking a dog, lazy parenting etc.)

I was really just wondering what your opinions of them were and if they wouldn't use them, what the reasons would be?

Tia

I like the look of the trunki toddlepak harness. Is it really as easy as it looks to adjust? Do the straps make it bulky round the toddler though?

We used the LittleLife backpack with reins, my DCs didn’t like regular reins (we’d put them on and they’d refuse to move!) but loved having a little backpack and would pack their bag before leaving the house (eg a toy or a snack) so were happy to have this which has the tether attached. Both of mine, especially DC2, were bolters so this was really important as a ‘failsafe’ for us because we’d hold hands but sometimes they’d still try to make a sudden dash for it.

(So obviously no, I don’t judge, but I found the backpack with reins easier than regular reins because I could sell it easier to the DCs as something fun to have!)

My ds (2.5yo) has reins, normally the backpack type but I keep a wrist set in my dd (9mo) for when I forget:he wants to walk and has been in double buggy
For us they're fantastic, when I have the pram with DD i need them as if he bolts it's hard to chase with pram ans can't abandon it!
I've never felt judged really.... when on hols on USA and DS 18mo he got 'how cute:what a good idea' comments and when we were having wrist rein in town the other week someone asked my husband where we got it as they wanted one!
In the park and open space fine he can run free but busy places and busy roads the back pack gives him a sense of independence whilst allowing me to make sure he doesn't walk where he shouldn't (he's not the most self aware and that sometimes means stopping him walking into a lamp post as he's looking elsewhere )

My youngest has just turned 3 and most of the time refuses to hold my hand. It's okay if she just walks next to me but she much prefers to run off ahead. No problem if you're in the park or walking down a quiet road, but if you're in the town centre or next to a busy main road its terrifying.

She will be wearing her reins until I can trust her to walk next to me!!

Better to be judged than to have a dead child. It's your child and your choice. Its no one else's business.

When I had my DS, I used to be quite a judgemental prick of a parent who was all for doing things organically/naturally/holistically etc etc and I didn't use reins as 'they would stem his energy'. Yep, I really was that much of a prat...

Turns out - DS didn't really need reins as he was just a far far calmer toddler/child who behaved fairly well and listened. He held hands, he behaved and he was a good little boy when it came to walking around.

With DD I've since realised just what a prat I was and she has been in reins since the second she decided that she was going to start just running off in any direction she fancied.
She's almost uncontrollable, has a particular desire to run towards cars, has insanely loud and impressive tantrums that involve her throwing herself to the floor in what would be a huge head-butting/bone-smashing event if we didn't have those trunki reins to protect her from her fall. She doesn't listen at all and without them, she's probably have been seriously hurt (or worse) by now...

I wore reins as a toddler. I am from near bootle Liverpool and was very close to poor Jamie Bulgers age when he was murdered. My mum said suddenly every child in the city was on reins. I use them now on my 22 month old because he is a little pocket rocket who will run in the other direction and is terribly clumsy. Could not care less if anyone wants to judge. My child’s safety is all that matters 🤷‍♀️

Apart from the most important safety aspects (traffic and tripping up), I always think that it can’t be very comfortable for toddlers to walk for any distance holding hands with an adult, especially a tall adult. Just try walking around with one of your arms raised for several minutes without rest. Wearing reins had to be more comfort for the child, surely?

Yes. I judge them. I think, how sensible and practical.

I use reins for my stubborn, strong willed DS. He would quite happily run off to look at a bird or a dog or 'TOUCH!!!' something that looks exciting. We hold hands and I keep the rein around my wrist so if he were to bolt, I've got hold of him. My DP is super safety conscious so insists on them being used but I would in any case. I did get a dog walking comment on the school run the other day but I just laughed and said 'I like that he's safe by the roads' and carried on walking

I never used them but don't judge if it's somewhere busy or potentially dangerous. However I do when it's in a quiet, safe, open park or when they're used for 'teaching' a child to walk - part of learning to walk is getting the feel for balance and what results in a fall.

Anyone who would someone for actively trying to keep their child safe is a twat.

I used reins because ds was an absolute bolter, even if he was holding hands. He very nearly dislocated his own arm chasing a duck down a canal. I couldn't have let go of him or he would have fallen in. I used the harness type.

Ds used to try to not hold hands too. I nipped it right in the bud by putting him straight back in his buggy if he refused. All protesting /tantrumming/screaming /crying because of this was tacitly ignored until he realised that if he wanted to walk he had to hold hands (didn't stop him being flighty though)

I posted here a little while ago - DH and I took the twins to the local park with their backpack reins and we had quite a few horrid looks. Really upset me at the time. They didn’t know my twins are autistic and obsessed with water and moving cars, both of which are abundant at this park.

Posters here made me feel better about it, except for the few arseholes who clearly haven’t had a child for whom they’re necessary.

Little life backpack. Always used at railway stations underground airports etc since the time I saw a mum in absolute bits at the airport as her child had disappeared while she checked her bag in (My husband alerted security and child found in end)

I never used them but don't judge if it's somewhere busy or potentially dangerous. However I do when it's in a quiet, safe, open park or when they're used for 'teaching' a child to walk - part of learning to walk is getting the feel for balance and what results in a fall.

We use reins on our twins in the park / open spaces.

Why? We are trying to teach them to walk safely on reins so that we can then try walking near busy roads on reins and, maybe one day, I can take them both to the park on reins by myself (currently too dangerous).

Maybe you shouldn’t judge people for doing what they think is best for their children when you know bugger all about them?

I do understand that if you’re pregnant or near a main road etc there may be a need, however I saw two children wearing reins at a farm the other day, I judged harshly.

We use them at the farm too. How else would you teach an autistic child to walk safely on reins other than by starting in safe places?

How dare you judge people? You don’t know them.

Never received a bad comment.

I’m not super keen on them, but had a rather ‘free spirited’ toddler, so I found a small kids’ backpack that clip fastened across their chest and had a small rein attached. Basically reins, but disguised!

Trespass Tiddler, Orange, Backpack with Safety Rein 3L, Orange www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01C0B2IL0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_t.9dDb00KRZ7Z?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

We had our first toddler experience today with our 11 month old. She’s confidently walking now and won’t go in her pram.

I will 100% be buying reins. Couldn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. You only have to read the story about that car accident to agree they are the best way to keep your child safe.

There is no ‘nipping it in the bud’ with a toddling baby who can’t be reasoned with. She likes holding my hand so far but as she gets more confident that may change.

I quite like the little backpacks so I’m going to order one of those.

Also- why would anyone judge this??? Stop judging other parents for trying their best to make what they feel is the right choice.

why would anyone judge this??? Some people are dicks.

I am a childminder. All my children go on reigns till the point I am confident they will hold on without exception.

I never have the discussion with parents . It is how I keep them safe till they have the skills to do that themselves.