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Parenting

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Original poster

What do i do about this drawing from 7yo son?

175 replies

Kitkatkittykins · 08/02/2019 16:50

NC for this

My son has only just turned 7.
I was tidying up earlier and noticed a picture he'd drawn in his book.

He is at his grandparents at the moment which gives me time to think about what to say or do.

I have no idea where he's got this from. But I'm also worried that he's drawn it infront of his 5yo sister as she's usually with him colouring at the table. Or worse, tried to do it.

What do i say to him? Is this type of behaviour normal at his age?

He isn't a rude child.. never did the show off boy part that i know a lot of boys that age do. He is aware of the PANTs talk, they did it at school last year and I've been over it a few times since.

We're careful with what he watches. He isn't allowed on youtube, but does like to watch Stampy Minecraft videos.
He's never walked in us either so I'm racking my brains trying to figure out where he's got it from.

What do i do about this drawing from 7yo son?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hannah1992 · 09/02/2019 07:14

Is his school like reception, y1, y2 then they move up schools for y3 etc or is it reception through to y6?

My dd (8) moved up school to go in y3 and she came home couple of weeks ago, stood in the kitchen and said the "n" word 3 times and burst out laughing. Not a word she would hear from us and I almost dropped the pan I was cooking with! Turns out a y6 kid had been singing in the playground and using the word. She had no clue what it meant and thought it was just a funny word. So we had to talk about racism etc.

If he'd have said kiss the front bum, that could be interpreted as he'd heard it from someone or somewhere. The fact he's drawn the picture and wrote that says he has seen or knows something.

TheRhythmlessMan · 09/02/2019 07:29

You're doing the right thing by talking to his teacher/head/DSL on Monday. It's useful for the school to build a 'bigger picture' of another pupil potentially having issues too.

Silkie2 · 09/02/2019 07:32

The fact he drew it at home but was anxious and confused about it makes me think he is wanting some explanation or assurance from you that it's nonsense as it will be pretty weird behaviour to him. Otherwise he would keep quiet about it.

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trulybadlydeeply · 09/02/2019 07:40

This definitely suggests to me that he had seen something, either at school (an older child's phone?) or elsewhere.

The thing that strikes me is that the woman standing doesn't have a face at all whereas the man is smiling. Does this reflect that her face was covered in what he saw? Whatever it means, you are doing the right thing by bringing it up with the school and seeking their advice.

ChariotsofFish · 09/02/2019 08:48

I bet a child at school has shown him a picture on a phone and that child has told him to keep it secret. If he were being abused why would it be a picture of a sexual act between a man and a woman? He has seen an inappropriate picture. I’d discuss it with the school.

IceRebel · 09/02/2019 08:49

If the picture is to be believed, it implies curiously about what the action actually is , which I doubt would be the same in a case of abuse.

The detail in the picture, with the description underneath don't imply a curiosity, it shows the actual act. This coupled with the extreme reaction, his denial of seeing or being told about it, and not wanting the other parent told are very concerning.

CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 09/02/2019 08:50

If he were being abused why would it be a picture of a sexual act between a man and a woman?

Showing a child pornography is part of abuse. It is normal used to normalise acts.

whatsleep · 09/02/2019 09:25

Op, DSL = designated safeguard lead

MashedSpud · 09/02/2019 09:38

Chariotsoffish
Abuse against boys isn’t only by other males, females can be abusers too.

Original poster

Kitkatkittykins · 09/02/2019 09:57

It's reception - year 6.

I hadn't noticed the no face thing!

I let him read the good/bad secrets section on pants. We had cuddles in bed and i told him that he can tell me anything and i won't be mad. Asked if someone had shown him or told him something like that, and he said no. Still saying he thought of it himself.

Will drop it now and speak to school / nspcc.

OP posts:

Petalflowers · 09/02/2019 10:05

Kitkat - hope you are okay.

strawberryredhead · 09/02/2019 11:06

I wonder if he saw something on an older child’s phone and he was threatened with getting hurt if he told anyone. Which is why he’s claiming he thought of it himself. I know it’s all just speculation but whatever has happened, he’s been exposed to content he’s far too young for, whether it’s visual (more likely I think, from his picture) or people talking. Like others have said, showing a child porn is a form of abuse. It sounds like you’re handling it well, encouraging him and cuddling him etc, hopefully it will all resolve, hopefully it was a one off thing and nothing too serious (as in, he saw somethingn briefly and that was it).

SubisYodrethwhenLarping · 09/02/2019 11:12

Is the girl/lady facing the other way?

That is back of her head wth her hair sticking out

Is the boy/man lying down master sting?

I think it is a photo or picture that he has seen and is trying to figure out what it is he has seen

Do the older children have phones in school or are they banned? What are the school rules abut phones?

(My DC are grown up, so long before mobiles in primary school so no idea what is policy about them)

Ylvamoon · 09/02/2019 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 09/02/2019 11:29

HQ have confirmed this is a long standing poster. Ylv

Original poster

Kitkatkittykins · 09/02/2019 12:29

It looks like the woman could be facing the other way.

He has a good memory, so if he did see a picture then i do think he would be able to redraw it. But this morning he said he was telling me everything he could remember, but it was drawn last year. He only got the book for christmas though.
So if he did see a picture last year, he may not be totally clear on where he saw it. And he's drawn it from memory which is "his mind".

Not sure on phone policy. I'm going to assume they're banned as I've never seen the older children walk out with them and we have to hang around for the bus so we see them all come out.

OP posts:

Pinchycrab · 09/02/2019 18:47

Is the boy/man lying down master sting?

The face isn't really detailed enough to tell which member of The Police it is tbh

Alondonleerie · 12/02/2019 07:29

The detail in the picture, with the description underneath don't imply a curiosity, it shows the actual act
Yes, I know it shows the act, but the ?! after shows he is wondering something about it.

TheRhythmlessMan · 12/02/2019 08:24

Any developments OP?

Original poster

Kitkatkittykins · 12/02/2019 13:04

Haven't been to school yet - dreaded sickness bug hit us yesterday early hours.

I spoke to my mum a bit, and she said it sounds like it could be someone at school because we don't go anywhere. If it's an older boy, he could be showing off to his friends and DS happened to be around.
Apparently a similar thing happened to one of my sisters around the same age, someone at school was saying sexual things to her (suck my dick was one of them).. mum said parents were hauled in but she doesn't know what happened after that.

But i haven't asked DS anything else to do with it.

OP posts:

Fuppy · 12/02/2019 14:27

Horrible suggestion....but could it be something he's seen your DH or another family member do with someone else?

I really hope not but might explain the initial reaction and faceless woman, also not wanting anyone else to see and why he's so guarded about it?

knitandpearl · 01/04/2019 22:52

@Kitkatkittykins did this get resolved OP?

MrsDrudge · 01/04/2019 23:03

Does he go on play dates/ mix with children who have older siblings? Could they have had an input?

Kokeshi123 · 02/04/2019 13:09

It pretty much screams "copy of something shown to him by an older boy." Older boy shows younger boy something shocking, trying to look tough/cool. Younger boy copies it down out of vague desire to do something naughty/bold. But talking to the NSPCC sounds like a good call, just in case it is something more sinister.

My 8yo has beautiful cursive writing for anything done properly at the table with me--and instantly reverts to horrid print whenever she is writing something spontaneous, like a cartoon she has drawn.

PineapplePatty · 03/04/2019 20:23

I hope things were resolved.

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