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Parenting

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Original poster

What do i do about this drawing from 7yo son?

175 replies

Kitkatkittykins · 08/02/2019 16:50

NC for this

My son has only just turned 7.
I was tidying up earlier and noticed a picture he'd drawn in his book.

He is at his grandparents at the moment which gives me time to think about what to say or do.

I have no idea where he's got this from. But I'm also worried that he's drawn it infront of his 5yo sister as she's usually with him colouring at the table. Or worse, tried to do it.

What do i say to him? Is this type of behaviour normal at his age?

He isn't a rude child.. never did the show off boy part that i know a lot of boys that age do. He is aware of the PANTs talk, they did it at school last year and I've been over it a few times since.

We're careful with what he watches. He isn't allowed on youtube, but does like to watch Stampy Minecraft videos.
He's never walked in us either so I'm racking my brains trying to figure out where he's got it from.

What do i do about this drawing from 7yo son?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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pisspawpatrol · 08/02/2019 17:43

I'd be ringing the NSPCC for advice on how to further this conversation with him.

If he is spending time with your sisters, is there a chance one of them could have drawn this in his book and told him not to say anything about it? Equally as concerning if drawn by one of them of course and still warrants further advice from a professional I would say.

Greensleeves · 08/02/2019 17:44

Having taught Y2, I would say that it's not at all unusual for children's writing to vary between formal school work and informal writing at home, with more attention paid to the detail/neatness in school books, especially if cursive has been taught. I've looked at the spelling book and the alleged drawing and I think it's the same child's writing. Others may disagree, of course.

OP I would call the NSPCC and ask for advice if I were you. I know its terrifying to "flag up" your own family in this way, but there are ways of approaching conversations like this with young children and I would want to make sure it was done right.

Bryjam · 08/02/2019 17:45

The only older children he's around are my younger sisters.. but i can't see them saying anything. DS seemed confused why i would think it had anything to do with them.

Does he not go to school?

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Original poster

Kitkatkittykins · 08/02/2019 17:46

The book stays at home and he's already said it was his drawing, so definitely can't be that.

OP posts:

Original poster

Kitkatkittykins · 08/02/2019 17:48

I meant outside of school..

OP posts:

Cheetahssitonfajitas · 08/02/2019 17:48

His reaction was too extreme for it to be something he doesn't understand. On some level he feels 'naughty'. That's the concerning thing... I wouldn't let this slide.

LovingLola · 08/02/2019 17:51

Other children in his class may have been talking about this.

cfmagnet · 08/02/2019 17:51

Oh, for the love of God! Can the mumsnet detectives give the "that's not a 7 year olds handwriting!" and "7 year olds don't use interrobangs!" a rest?! I'm sure OP knows her own DS's handwriting and grammar capabilities. And yes, children's handwriting at school and at home is often quite different.
OP, I would be concerned, too. I'm afraid I don't have any words of wisdom, other than it may be worth speaking to the NSPCC to see if they have any advice. It may be as innocent as he has heard something and drawn a picture to try to make sense of it.

CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 08/02/2019 17:51

It's a massive sexual abuse flag, I'm assuming you understand that?

CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 08/02/2019 17:54

Can the mumsnet detectives give the "that's not a 7 year olds handwriting!" and "7 year olds don't use interrobangs!" a rest?! I'm sure OP knows her own DS's handwriting and grammar capabilities.

Okay so you don't think people should ask about the possibility of this being drawn by someone else?
It's a pretty standard question, so is asking about older children and adults the child has had contact with.

WeeDangerousSpike · 08/02/2019 17:54

Is front bum a term you use as a family op?

From his reaction I'd be very concerned that whoever has introduced the concept has told him he mustn't tell you. I'd want to know why he thinks you would be cross and doesn't want anyone else to know.

NSPCC for advice about how to talk to him without distressing him is a good idea.

BlueSlipperSocks · 08/02/2019 17:59

Ok so your ds has admitted he drew it. Have you asked him what the picture is about, who are the people in it, what they are doing, where are they etc

Ask the questions but dont put words in his mouth. See what he comes back with.

MerryMarigold · 08/02/2019 18:00

Do you call it a front bum at home or is this expression from the same source as the picture? It could be going on at school with a child who has been inappropriately exposed. In Reception, dd jumped naked on her bed and said to me-"Thid is like doing sexy in school." She wasn't embarrassed. I asked what was happening and kept unemotional. Transpired they were lying on top of each other in the toilets after removing clothes (a group of 3 girls). I went straight to school. Clearly something inappropriate with one of other 2 girls, at best they'd been exposed to viewing, but at that point it was out of my hands. I'd ask ds again, maybe give him a nice treat of hot choc and biscuits in bed and just say it's really, really important he tells you the truth. Promise there will be no punishment at all.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 08/02/2019 18:01

OP I would be speaking to your parents about what their DDs May or may not be watching on YouTube. 9 year old maybe saw something or watched something with your son.

BlankTimes · 08/02/2019 18:01

Are they two women in his picture?
Could it be that he's heard/seen that's what two women in a relationship do?

Original poster

Kitkatkittykins · 08/02/2019 18:02

"Front bum" was what DD started calling it so we just went with it. She says "mini" now as that's what my Auntie called it.
I tend to say "bits" or "privates".

OP posts:

MerryMarigold · 08/02/2019 18:04

Is it specifically a woman's private parts then? Maybe that's why he's embarrassed. If it's only used for women then it's clearly not happening to him and probably been talked about in school.

Ohrobin · 08/02/2019 18:05

Try to ask open ended questions
Can you tell me what you were drawing in this picture, I wonder why you decided to draw this picture, I wonder if you have any questions you would like to ask about this picture. The I wonder phrase is less intense and then just give him time to talk.

trevthecat · 08/02/2019 18:06

Not exactly the same but my son, around the same age googled pictures of girls boobs. I asked him, he was embarrassed. I wasnt happy. Spoke to school senco, they said it's actually quite normal and alot of kids in the year have older siblings so it does get talked about. I would certainly ask your son where he heard of this sort of thing. And maybe also speak to school senco. Ours is brilliant

cfmagnet · 08/02/2019 18:08

Captainkirk I think people should understand that OP is better placed to know whether it is her DS's handwriting/drawing than they are!

RosieEffect · 08/02/2019 18:10

I used to babysit a kid the same age who made two dolls do this in front of me. When I asked why he said that his friend at school told him about it after his older brother told
him about it. It's likely come from something like that but you're son is aware enough to be super embarrassed and probably doesn't want to get someone else in trouble. He definitely has seen/heard about it and I think you need to make sure he knows that you know this and he must tell you where he heard/saw it.

picklemepopcorn · 08/02/2019 18:15

Sit him on your lap with hot chocolate and a biscuit. (If he's a cuddly lad- snuggle on the sofa otherwise).
Ask him to tell you all about the picture. That it looks a bit funny, you can't work out what's going on etc.
Maybe even sit next to him and draw, while he draws, and chat about your pictures.

Keep an eye on him, join him when he draws. Give him lots of opportunities to talk to you.

TSSDNCOP · 08/02/2019 18:18

Is it possible he has accidentally seen porn on your DH’s tablet, or other older children or adults?

I think that looks fairly explicit for an interpretation of just kids talking in the playground.

CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 08/02/2019 18:19

I think people should understand that OP is better placed to know whether it is her DS's handwriting/drawing than they are!
And because of your assumption you expect no one to make sure it actually is, and to avoid any questions which indicate the possibility it's not?
Is this correct?

Bryjam · 08/02/2019 18:21

OP you said he has no contact with older children. But you said he goes to school. He DOES have contact with older children.

There are many possibilities here but if you continue to bury your head in the sand you are putting your child at risk. It is imperative that you take control of this and try to find out why he has done this.

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