Told off by hotel owner for way I disposed of nappies. Was I in the wrong?

[Heidi3333]

Hi there.

This is my very first post so please be gentle!
I'm just looking for opinions as I'm feeling v annoyed about something and I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable by feeling this way.
I'm on holiday in a UK hotel for a few days with my 2 year old daughter. We are still potty training so still have wet or dirty nappies at times.
Late last night - around midnight - she had a dirty nappy. When she's had wet nappies I put them in nappy bags and then put them in the bin in my room. However, I didn't want to do that with a soiled one as it would stink out the room. I decided to put the nappy (wrapped in a nappy bag) in a bin in a communal toilet 2 floors up from as it was the only one I could find.
I never thought anymore of it but this morning the hotel owner pulled me aside and clearly p!ssed off told me off for leaving the nappy where I'd put it. He said I'd stank that floor out and had left on lots of lights behind me. He said he knew it was me as he played back cctv to find out!! I asked where I should have put it and he said outside my room and someone would have collected it. I was raging but apologised and walked off.

The owner has been unfriendly and cold to me and my daughter since we arrived. He has made no effort to chat to me at all and hasn't spoken to my daughter at all. I got the impression right from the start tjT he didn't like me although he seems nice with the other guests.

I rarely leave negative feedback for hotel ratings but seriously contemplating doing just that when I leave tomorrow.

Am I being unreasonable?

On the very rare occasions we took d's to a hotel I went armed with nappy sacks and bin liners so everything was well sealed and just left it in our bathroom.

I think it's a bit strange to go to the effort of going two floors up rather than just double/triple bagging it and leaving it in your own bathroom, however given that, I don't think it's particularly unreasonable to leave it bagged in a public toilet - certainly no worse than shoving it outside in a corridor. I wouldn't dream of doing that.

Wow. I think YANBU.
There's a big difference between a smell in a large toilet, rather than a windowless ensuite, beside a usually overheated bedroom (this is my hotel experience).
Leave it in the hallway. What if someone stood on it? That wouldn't occur to me. If my children stood on a dirty bagged nappy in a hallway, I wouldn't be best pleased.
Often with a small baby in a hotel room I'd leave the ensuite door open with the mirror light on in case baby woke.
As for him following you on CCTV. I'd be raging. Weirdo.

Was the communal loo the only one with a dedicated nappy bin in the whole hotel? If that was the only nappy bin then YWNBU.

(If it was just a general bin you were being unreasonable!)

If you’d left the nappy in the hall it would have stunk the place out. That’s a ridiculous suggestion. Do that with the next poopy nappy and see what he says!

On the one hand I think the hotel owner is BU for complaining about a nappy being binned in a toilet. That’s what toilet facilities are for. And sometimes toilets smell! However I do think YABU for not just taking the nappy to an outdoor bin. If you can search multiple floors for a communal toilet to leave the nappy in, you could have taken it outside instead.

Suppose you would be happy if you opened your door and the whole floor stank of shit because someone had trawled the hotel and dumped a dirty nappy in the toilet near you? You didn’t want to stink YOUR room out but it doesn’t matter about anyone else! It’s your child’s shit, nobody else’s, so if anyone has to be stunk out it should be you! Not surprised the manager spoke to you. You are being very unfair. As for leaving negative feedback, if you do so make sure you tell them about the nappy incident, so that anyone checking feedback knows how unreasonable and unfair you are.
Plus, you expect the manager to have a conversation with your two year old child!!!! Maybe he doesn’t talk the gaga language (hmm)

Hi thanks for the replies. You have given me food for thought! Reading the replies has made me realise that perhaps I am being unreasonable. I didn't really think things through at the time as it was late. I just figured putting the nappy in a communal bin was preferable to leaving it in my room bin as they tend to get emptied every day - it took them 2 days to empty my room bin. Also those bins would contain things like sanitary towels so I didn't see a huge issue (apart from the smell obviously!). In future I'll just triple wrap it and dispose of it somewhere outside when possible.

The fact he trailed through
CCTV to find out the offender was just plain weird and OTT in my opinion.

I won't mention the nappy issue on my feedback but I will be saying I found the owner cold and unfriendly. He has made zero attempt at getting to know me or chat to me. Ive never experienced such a cold host in 20 years of travelling. And I also find it really quite horrible and unusual that he didn't even acknowledge my toddler by eg. asking her name, or her age etc. Just things that people normally do with young children! Ie - being nice to them! I get the impression he doesn't like kids. Not great for a hotel that advertised as being suitable for families!

Why would you expect a hotel owner to get to know you or chat to you? It's a business relationship not a social one.

I stay in hotels quite a bit with my 3 kiddies who are 7 and under. You need to talk to them at check in to ascertain what their preferred method is of dealing with diapers. Some hotels put the pee pee ones of certain brands in the incinerator to heat the place. No bag should be used for those.

If you’d left the nappy in the hall it would have stunk the place out

Presumably leaving it in the hall would have meant that it would have been picked up by staff making up rooms or delivering room service? A random bin two floors up might not have been emptied at all until someone began investigating complaints about a seeping odour...

You have high expectations of friendliness from hotel owners OP! Are you American? 

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a hotel owner to be friendly by asking a few simple questions like 'where are you from?' , 'how was your journey?' It's just manners and makes people feel welcome. He certainly seems friendly enough with
his other guests judging from what I've observed during breakfast.

I'm a nurse and work closely with people all the time. If I'm spending any time with a patient I'll always make an effort to be friendly and chatty to make them feel comfortable and welcome. I certainly don't think I'm being unreasonable on that point!

Why would it matter when your room bin gets emptied? Surely you’d take the poopy nappy to the outdoor bin yourself in the morning? Not just leave it until the cleaner turns up?

I also don’t see why you expect the hotel owner to bother chatting to any of his guests regardless of their age. He provides the room and you sleep in it, end of.

He is BU to whinge about a toilet bin being used for its intended purpose though. And it is OTT to search through CCTV footage to see who disposed of a nappy, and even more OTT to rudely confront them.

Even family friendly hotels don't tend to offer circle time for toddler guests and hotel management. I've stayed in loads of hotels with DD from when she was tiny and can't remember many of them getting to know her. Although the Four Seasons did provide lovely welcome pack for her consisting of cookies, juice, gift, toddler sized bathrobe and elephant trunk attachment to bath taps so I'd recommend them for toddler focus!

I guess he meant to call reception and then they would collect the Nappy, not at to leave it outside the door, festering until housekeeping passed by.

Also, am I the only one who used to flush DCs poo down the toilet (when possible). The thought of lumps of shit sitting in any bin inside turns my stomach.

No, I'm not American! Lol
Just I expect a host to make a bit of an effort.

The fact he trailed through CCTV to find out the offender was just plain weird and OTT in my opinion
He needs to make sure the 'offender' doesn't do it again. How else would he find out who that was?

I won't mention the nappy issue on my feedback but I will be saying I found the owner cold and unfriendly. He has made zero attempt at getting to know me or chat to me
WTF? It's not a social visit. Why do you think he needs to 'get to know you'?
And I also find it really quite horrible and unusual that he didn't even acknowledge my toddler by eg. asking her name, or her age etc
You are way too precious. Noone is as interested in your kid as you so being personally offended that he did not show enough wonder at the amazingness of your toddler as you expect is just crazy.

You should NOT be writing a negative review based on these points.

I live in Aus and in the minimal travelling we have done I have never had someone at the check in who hasn't been friendly with both myself and hubby and our children if they are there at the time we check in.

I agree that it would be unusual to me as well if someone who works in the hospitality industry was cold and distant, it is their job to welcome you to your 'home away from home' to make you and your travelling companions (including kids) feel like if you have any issues or questions they are only a phone call or door knock away.

I don't get people questioning why you would expect them to be friendly.... that's their job and what they are paid to do.

We stayed in a hotel a couple of weeks ago and they didn’t even ask my DH’s name never mind my DC’s name. It’s nice if people are friendly but it’s by no means essential. And some would regard it as nosy or unnecessarily personal.

he didn't even acknowledge my toddler by eg. asking her name, or her age

Ohh Give it a rest OP.

If he does ask children these things, someone like you would accuse him of being a pervert and grooming.

You were wrong about the nappy. You are entitled to feel unwelcomed. But that doesn't equal a bad review.

I don't think I'm being precious. He's cold and unfriendly. Bad form for someone dealing with the public. Perhaps my job has made me have higher expectations.

Trailing throug cctv IS ridiculous! He made me feel like some sort of criminal!

I don't think you were unreasonable to put a nappy in a bin in a loo! Not ideal perhaps, but I can see the logic.

His CCTV watching is frankly batshit.

Never mind putting people off holidaying with families, this puts me off saying in family-run hotels. How oddly intrusive.

Thank you. Glad someone gets my point!

I'd accuse him of being a pervert or grooming? Don't be so ridiculous!

Sweetpea, Have a cuppa. Chill for a bit.