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Parenting

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Original poster

Why do you have more than 1 child?

173 replies

stressteddy · 18/06/2007 14:43

I just wondered
I have one and am contemplating another but as an only child I can't see anything wrong with my ds being an only one
When I mention it to people though a lot of them seem so sad that I might not have more
Is it soooooo much harder/easier with 2?
V. interested so please let me know

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SMSmadeUCMBelieveWhiteRberries · 18/06/2007 21:14

Cos I had twins is the short answer....

LynetteScavo · 18/06/2007 21:14

I often ask my self that question.

Aloha · 18/06/2007 21:15

I know people with one child whose children have more friends to play with than my ds, because my ds has Aspergers, and no cousins etc. Actually the lack of cousins was another factor.

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Original poster

stressteddy · 18/06/2007 21:15

OMG you all have such lovely stories and lovely reasons for having more than one child.
Thank you all for sharing these.
I have found no 1 so hard and so difficult (no I haven't had pnd) just not slept and he never, ever stops. I also have no family near me and my dh is away a lot
He is wonderful and very sociable little soul. I would never be without him but as for another...
watch this space!
Thank you all
X

OP posts:

divastrop · 18/06/2007 21:20

i have more than one child because i went to the gp to get the pill when ds1 was 3 months old and she did a pregnancy test just to be sure and it was positive

i dont know how it happened.

i have 5 children altogether as i got things a bit mixed up and had 3 kids before i met the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

but having 5 is easier than having one....well,for me it is.

Original poster

stressteddy · 18/06/2007 21:22

diva_ 5! {shock]
wow!
stresstedy goes off to lie down at the thought!
x

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Original poster

stressteddy · 18/06/2007 21:22

even!

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 18/06/2007 21:25

having been an only child myself i couldn't bare the thought of dd being on her own.

and it was the best decision imaginable. ds is only a baby yet and already they love each other to death, play with each other, no-one can make them giggle like each other and they light up our lives.

musicianswidowAKAmumofmonsters · 18/06/2007 21:28

i had another because i looked at ds on the see saw at about 1.5 and he looked so sad that he couldn't make it go!

Anonymama · 18/06/2007 21:32

This reply has been deleted

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KbearBrockovich · 18/06/2007 21:34

Because the New Year fireworks kept us awake all night !! Oh that and the red wine.

chipkid · 18/06/2007 21:36

my two just adore each other. 3 year age gap but they are as thick as thieves. I am so unbelievably relieved that I had a second child.

KbearBrockovich · 18/06/2007 21:37

me too Chipkid - I'm so glad they have each other.

Peachy · 18/06/2007 21:55

REALLY glad I had ds2 (and then ds3) as with DS1 being HFA and ds3 being a complex little mix of ASD and stuff, I feel really pleased to know they have each other, and they are a bit of a tribe. Would dearly love another (TTc but not so far)

Loshad · 18/06/2007 22:06

I still sometimes feel a bit surprised that i have 4 lovely boys, initially only intended to have 2 but couldn't resist having another 2 (actually would happily have had another 2-3 but was getting a bit old and school fees rather pricey )
They benefit so much from having each other, and yes there can be falllouts but there is nearly wlays someone to play with, what it is you fancy so perfect for paper reading (me ). Mine were all hard work as babies, and I'm not certain if I hadn't had DS2 so soon after ds1 whether i would have done so!
There are lots of advantages to only having 1 though, more money, if you want them to have someone to play with you can invite child round, easier to keep career going (if that is what you want), ime single children are generally better behaved as well, perhaps because of more adult time, or maybe just because mine can be horros

IndigoMoon · 18/06/2007 22:11

did not want dd to be an only child so tried for another one. there is 3 years 9 months between them.
dd loves him so much its lovely and i think she has benefited greatly.

ds is a much tougher baby that dd and i have really struggled with it. he is 7 months and i am making a concerted effort to pick myself up of the floor.

i love him greatly but at times have voiced my regrets and that it was easier with one.

however reading this thread has helped as i hope it will get a little easier as they get older.

eucalyptus · 18/06/2007 22:55

Similar experience with lack of contraception shortly after dd born led to ds.

Very hard work as babies but fantastic now - play with each other and we get lie ins at the weekend

They fight but they are also friends - my motehr is an only and after my Grandmother died she said she felt very lonely as there was no one left whoknew her as a child, so I was pleased to have two. Would have liked more but dh said no

ekra · 19/06/2007 10:37

Lots of reasons.

I was one of two so for me one child didn't seem like a family. I was broody for another only weeks after DD1 was born but waited for a year to ttc #2.

I hope that my two will grow up to have a good relationship with one another. I accept that they might not but at least the option exists.

It's a lot of fun having multiple children in the house (although 3 would probably be too many for me!

Having known a few girls who were only children - they seemed especially close to their fathers and did not get on with their mothers. It's almost like the mother and daughter competed for the father/husband's attention. Whilst accepting that this could happen in a minority of families, I worried about it.

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 19/06/2007 10:40

DD2 is 9 years younger than DD1 so, as you can probably tell, having a second was not a conscious decision.

She is bloody marvellous, though.

ekra · 19/06/2007 10:42

I love having two children. Their temperaments are different. DD1 was not an easy baby and isn't an easy to please child. DD2 is a little bundle of laughter and has an aura of calm about her. But seeing their contrasting personality types actually makes me view them with more understanding. Each of them highlights the others strengths and we manage to be more symapthetic about the weaknesses (for want of a better word - I don't really mean that) I don't know if that makes sense at all.

3andnomore · 19/06/2007 10:57

handlemecarefully....I also have a 21 m agegap, between my youngest 2, and I am so glad that I was not the only one then that found it tough going.
I know so many people with really close agegaps that say it was all easy peesy....can't imagine that, tbh....but always made me wonder what I am doing wrong, lol!
Getting easier now though, ms is 4 1/2ish and ys will be 3 in the summer.

Tortington · 19/06/2007 11:03

if i had only known then. what i know now. i would have absolutley only had one.

HonoriaGlossop · 19/06/2007 11:09

Ha! Custardo. Why?

Tortington · 19/06/2007 11:13

my life choices would have been different with only one child to consider, house, clothe and feed. money would have gone further, mental and emotional breakdowns would have been fewer!

HonoriaGlossop · 19/06/2007 11:15

yes, fair do's, see your point

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