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Parenting

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Original poster

Why do you have more than 1 child?

173 replies

stressteddy · 18/06/2007 14:43

I just wondered
I have one and am contemplating another but as an only child I can't see anything wrong with my ds being an only one
When I mention it to people though a lot of them seem so sad that I might not have more
Is it soooooo much harder/easier with 2?
V. interested so please let me know

OP posts:

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TheDuchessOfNorks · 18/06/2007 19:35

I wanted a busy, noisy household. And I've got one. DH & I are thinking when to try for no. 4.

fennel · 18/06/2007 19:40

Because my sister is my best friend and I want my children to have at least the possibility of the pleasure of a good sibling relationship.

Because I like noisy busy households and lots of people coming to and fro. Though now I have that it's a bit overwhelming. But still, I like it in theory

wrinklytum · 18/06/2007 19:46

Err,it just sort of happened!

Tough going first few months.

Gorgeous now,especially qwhen they laugh at each other...

Not got to bickering stage yet so may have to change mind later

Will also be very expensive 16 and 18 birthday years as their birthdays are 2 days apart.

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Sobernow · 18/06/2007 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

newgirl · 18/06/2007 19:53

i would have been happy with one

but im gald i had two for many many reasons but one of the best reasons is that my dds adore each other and it makes us very happy to see it

dueat44 · 18/06/2007 19:54

So they can share the burden of looking after us when we're old and senile!

Actually, because we cut corners on the contraception front on holiday ....

tegan · 18/06/2007 20:09

I found it especially hard being an only child when my dad had cancer confirmed when dd2 was only 12 hours old. I really needed someone to share the burden of everything with and now I would like to talk things over with someone other than my mum.

tulips · 18/06/2007 20:17

I have not read all thread, only the op.

I had a second child a) because I was fortunate in being able to conceive a second child and b) to provide my first child with a sibling. As simple as that.

Aloha · 18/06/2007 20:20

Wanted them to have a sibling to grow up with. Wanted to see what another child would be like. Wanted them to have each other when dh and I die, esp as we are older parents.
But it's totally an individual thing.
I really like having dd - I like little dresses and ballet shoes and I like her being NT and not having to worry about her the way I worry about ds. Think I would worry even more about ds if I didn't have dd.

webmum · 18/06/2007 20:22

I just desperately wanted another one, with the same intensit (if not worse) than I wanted my first one.

It was to be honest totally selfish, though I do believe that it's good to have siblings, but I also thiink you shouldn't ahve them unless YOU want them!! (IFYKWIM)

Practicalpet · 18/06/2007 20:28

Have only read OP. I have 2 dd 2yo ds 9m, firtility treatment with the first then lucky enough to catch naturally on ds. didn't think I could have any - am absolutely delighted I have 2. They make each other laugh, she lights up his face, they hold hands etc.etc.

BreeVanDerCamp · 18/06/2007 20:29

Because I gave birth to one and I married the other.....

Rhubarb · 18/06/2007 20:29

First was complete and utter accident. We did discuss having an only child at the time, but both coming from large families of 6 and 7, we decided it would be kinder to give her a sibling. Ain't gonna have no more though.

Aloha · 18/06/2007 20:41

Oh yes, webmum, I really, really wanted another one. Best reason, I suppose!

persephonesnape · 18/06/2007 20:49

I was an only child. desperately lonely. when my mum died there was no one i could remember her with. I have three. i loved my first SO much i wanted another, then he was perfect, so i popped out another one. I can't begin to imagine life without any of them - i have a big heart, it is full to bursting!

pollyanna · 18/06/2007 20:59

I have 4, not all totally planned! i did plan to have more than one though - I never contemplated I would stop at one. Then ds (my first) was such an easy baby I had no2 quite quickly (I do think that if my 4th child was my first, I wouldn't have had any more, at least not as quicky ).

I love having a big family now, but do think there are definite advantages to smaller families. I saw a mum scooter by with her son yesterday, and thought I can never do that - I always have a gang of toddlers to round up

I am seriously considering no 5 now...

Aloha · 18/06/2007 21:01

I loved my first with an insane passion, but he wasn't easy, to put it mildly. It took a year to recover from the first year, and only then did dh agree (with great trepidation) to try for another.

Aloha · 18/06/2007 21:01

I loved my first with an insane passion, but he wasn't easy, to put it mildly. It took a year to recover from the first year, and only then did dh agree (with great trepidation) to try for another.

morningpaper · 18/06/2007 21:01

Whenever I think of my children (in planning mode) I think of them as grown-ups

I can't bear the thought of one poor child having to look after me and DH when we are old/bonkers/needy/incontinent (although of course I really hope I will be living on the banks of the river Nile having gin brought to me by an attractive young man, well into my 90s)

Having two has been GREAT. I love it. They love each other to pieces. Once past the Awful Baby Stage, I have found it Surprisingly Easy. (shhh)

jenkel · 18/06/2007 21:03

A little bit similar to the last message, I too am an only child, my dad died when I was 18 and I am very much aware that when that eventually happens to my Mum (hopefully a very long time off) I will be the only one and how would I feel with no living blood family apart from my kids.

My 2 are very close in age (18 months) and I believe are the best of friends, I sometimes watch them playing and wish that I had that sort of relationship with somebody else.

I would actually say now 3 and 4 that it is easier as they do keep each other amused so much more. We recently went on holiday and there was a only child there who was the same age as my oldest and she was desperate for a friend to play with, we dont have that problem.

WideWebWitch · 18/06/2007 21:03

I love having 2 and I have a 6yr gap between mine as they have different husbands for fathers. Ds is 9 and dd is 3, it's wonderful. They are mad about each other, they sleep well, they're great company and we're just out of needing nappies or a buggy for dd, life's peachy tbh.

Aloha · 18/06/2007 21:04

My two love each other very much. I often hear 'I lub oo ds' from dd and 'dd, I love you so much' from ds.

onlyjoking9329 · 18/06/2007 21:07

well we planned on having one child, we had twins, then we added another one and three seemed just right.

morningpaper · 18/06/2007 21:11

jenkel I know what you mean - I often see single children and all they have to play with is two boring middle-aged people and they are MISSING OUT! My two play with each other 24/7, it is so lovely for them.

morningpaper · 18/06/2007 21:12

Also when you've got one, and they said "mummy can you play with me?" you have to say Yes becuase you feel guilty whereas if you have two you can say "ooh ok - oooh look your sister has got the baby doll! Why don't you show her how to give it a bath?" and then you can get back to reading the paper

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