Parents of Criers Support Thread - Respite from the Screaming!

[MeadowHay]

Hi! I've noticed there are frequently threads on here from new parents of babies who cry A LOT and who are feeling stressed/frustrated/depressed/lonely etc. So I thought I'd make this thread and maybe we can chat and help support one another? Before I had my baby, I knew babies cried, but I didn't know they could cry quite this much, for no apparent reason a lot of the time. And I don't think other people who haven't had a crier, understand what it is like to have a crier!

To introduce myself, my name is MeadowHay, I'm in my mid-twenties, I have one baby girl who is 4 months old. She is a delight...when she's not crying. But she is crying most of the time really. She is a pretty good night-time sleeper which is a Godsend as I need all the energy to cope with her constant day-time crying and she only has like 30 minute naps in the day.

I have just scoffed some wraps down my throat for lunch and can hear her waking up from her 30 minute nap so I better get over there asap before she starts to...you guessed it...cry!

Sorry to hear people are still struggling. We've had an awful few days, I think it's my own fault though as I got a bit too cocky and gave DD a bit of chocolate wafer because the ingredients said skimmed milk powder, so I assumed it wouldn't be too hard on her stomach. She's now screamed for three days though and gone back to diarrhea-type nappies. Shan't be making that mistake again!! She does seem to be able to tolerate me eating cooked milk though so I'm back to eating biscuits and cakes which is lovely!

We've just moved my toddler to a proper single bed and will be trying the baby in her cotbed, still in our room for now though. I'm hoping that may improve both of their sleep at night, as currently they are both hideous.

I go back to work in a month and, as guilty as I feel, I am so excited for peace and quiet.

WTF that’s great about the biscuits and cakes at least. I hope the new cotbed goes well.

Meadow, my friend had to have an episiotomy and is really struggling. It sounds awful and very difficult to live with. Im sorry you don’t have many people who could have DD, will you be leaving her with a childminder or nursery at any point in the near future? I have definitely taken it for granted that I basically have a waiting list. DH’s parents are having their turn this weekend as we left her with my Mum last week. I am very anxious about leaving her though and find it stressful. I feel like she’s an extension of myself and like I should look after her.

Had a stressful afternoon. I have to feed to sleep for naps and got bitten a few times. I’ve read up on it and need to make sure she latches properly before feeding... I tried to bottle feed to get her to sleep, cue 1 hour of screaming so I gave in and just BF.

I feel like she is a lot worse with me? As she just sees me as a milk machine now. She will nap/ fall asleep on other people which makes me feel like a failure. She has worked out where the milk comes from and tries to get at my boobs now too. Not sure if this is normal and why a lot of people only breastfeed until 6 months. I think she is way too dependant on it to stop now.

WTF Glad you can eat cakes and stuff again!! I'm not sure I would have continued to BF if I had to stop eating them (in the absence of other issues) you are probs much more selfless than me!! Hope the new sleeping arrangements help, let us know how you get on.

Peony When I go back to work in March she will be in nursery two days a week and with DM two days a week (I'll only be going back 4 days). Although she will be in nursery for a few days in the two weeks or so before I go back to work, I will probably do some KIT days then but DH and I are definitely going to keep one day for us to just spend the day together. It doesn't actually seem that far away now. I would love to leave DD . I have left her with DM quite a few times for short periods, like a couple of hours or less at a time for appointments like dentist, GP, beautician etc. But as I say she won't have her just for DH and I to go out or anything and nobody else in the family on either side will offer as she's so awful . When we first gave DD the odd bottle when she was a newborn I would often have to BF her afterwards for a few mins as she wouldn't go to sleep which was really irritating as the whole reason we gave her them bottles was so I could go to bed and DH could stay up with her and give her the bottle and put her to sleep but it took a good few goes until it worked but often he would need to give her the bottle then bounce her on the exercise ball until she fell asleep rather than her feeding to sleep on the bottle. Could you look at mix-feeding to give yourself a break sometimes? Not trying to encourage you to reduce or stop BF btw just you seem to have mixed feelings about it and obv mixed-feeding is an option.

Last night wasn’t so bad. I got DH to do the settling and she woke up a few times but resettled. It was every 3 hours which felt great. We haven’t done any mixed feeding as I’m awful at organising bottles and find it such a faf (would have to get one of those prep machines). Plus she doesn’t seem to like the taste of formula .

That’s great you’ve managed to organised 4 days and will only need two days nursery. I have requested to work part time but have no idea whether they will say yes. Which is adding to my anxiety now it is January! I think I will have to aim for March too as my stat pay will run out by then.

Had a failed morning out yesterday. Went to meet a group of other babies. Cue having to leave early and one hour of high pitched screaming! I think it’s partly my fault as it was cold plus she doesn’t do well in the car. I also accidentally gave her some dairy at breakfast which I think is why is was so inconsolable.

It actually gave me flashbacks from when she was like 3 months old. I felt utterly broken when I got home. Like a terrible mother and a complete failure compared to everyone else.

It’s the weekend though so I’m trying to forget it. I had a nice slice of cake this morning Everyday I say my diet is starting tomorrow...

peony Yes that's why I'm going back in March as well, end of my SMP. We can't afford for me to take unpaid leave and I don't get anything else from work because I was only there about 3 months before I fell pregnant. I know the flashback feelings when things get really bad, DH and I get them too. But even the best babies have off times sometimes, just for ours its particularly awful off times that are even worse than their usual times when they are generally 'off' anyway!!

I had brunch with one of my friends today whilst DH had DD after Water Babies which was so nice. And she slept for THREE HOURS in the pram! She has literally never slept that long in the daytime before, never, since she was born. We didn't do anything different than normal either! Then she was lovely for 2 hours, now been screaming hysterically for 50 minutes so DH is taking her for a walk in the Baby Bjorn. Sigh.

GP prescribed ranitidine for her at the lowest dose for her weight and said we should see improvement in a fortnight if it's going to help, if no improvement after a fortnight to call and she will refer her to a paeditrician. And the pharmacist also said to me when I collected the medication that if it doesn't help she should see a paediatrician. Sigh. I really don't think there's allergies or anything though as she has no other symptoms other than crying. But obv best to get her checked and we are getting so desperatate now.

Can you express at all Peony? Some people say you don't need to sterilise bottles if they just hold expressed milk but there's differences in opinions for that. Also if you only give the odd bottle of formula, you could use pre-made cartons so you don't have to faff about making up the bottles with powder? And feel free to ignore but DF is a doctor and he said the sterilising is mainly because people make up the bottles with powder formula in advance and leave in the fridge and milk is prone to bacteria growth when stored, but he said if you were to make a bottle up and give it straight to baby, or use pre-made formula like that, there's not really a need to sterilise the bottles because the risk is practically zero (assuming you've washed your hands and washed bottle etc with hot soapy water). So you could potentially skip sterilising altogether if you felt happy to and used pre-made milk.

I think I need to start keeping a record some days of her crying to show the paed if we get referred. Today was like this so far:

• Alarm went off at 6.45am which woke us all up. Initially pleasant and pleasant whilst being carried out, sat down and started crying so had to walk around with her til bottle was sorted. Sat pleasant for 10 mins or so on lap then started crying, quiet when picked up.
• Cried when put down on changing table, briefly distracted with toy, then resumed crying and rubbing her eyes as being changed.
• Ok being carried upstairs and briefly distracted with toy in her cotbed then resumed crying.
• Ok when picked up then hysterically crying when putting hat on etc and when put down in pram, being strapped into pram etc.
• Slept on the way to Water Babies. Was ok for first 20 mins in pool then cried on and off til the end of the lesson.
• Screamed hysterically in the shower, and cried on and off whilst being changed, distracted a bit with toys and dummies intermittently.
• Screamed hysterically when putting hat on etc, putting in pram and strapping in.

- Slept in pram and remained asleep there for 3 hours which has literally never happened before.

• Was mostly pleseant for 2 hours (which is very rare - I guess it was because she had the good sleep) then apart from a bit of crying when getting face and hands cleaned up after eating lunch.
• Screamed hysterically for 50 minutes until DH took her out in the Baby Bjorn. Was quiet in there for about 35 minutes then fell asleep for 25 minutes in it then woke up and they came back in. Vomited and then cried when having hat etc taken off. Had a bottle, was pleasant for about 5 or 10 mins then screamed hysterically again, rubbing her eyes.
• Managed to distract her now bouncing her in the bouncy chair with In the Night Garden on to try and get her back to sleep and now she's not going asleep but is dead pleasant watching the telly.

I think a lot of it is through being tired but we just can't get her to bloody sleep. DH was out for about an hour and 15 mins and she still only slept for about 25 mins of that. There's only so much walking you can do!

I think keeping a record would be a good idea. I know you’ve probably checked (the thread is so long now I can’t scroll back!) but are you sure she doesn’t have a dairy allergy? Have you done the two weeks of prescription formula? Has she had any teeth come through yet? We have been using anbesol which seems to work well.

We have perscription formula so can’t get the pre made stuff unfortunately. Luckily BF is going well and she’s not comfort feeding in the night as much now.

We had a nice day, dropped her off at DH parents for a few hours and went to lunch. Had lots of crying in the car but nothing we’re not used to. We were in a good enough mood to laugh it off and distract with Peppa Pig. Went swimming which was nice- she splashes now and tried to swim(ish)! DD is a complete nightmare and cries a lot but seems to be intelligent for her age at least!

Still having lots of problems with changing nappy/ clothes. She really hates being on her back (unless playing which makes me think it’s just her personality). DH says that she just throws tantrums which might be true but can a 6 month old have tantrums..?? I probably am a bit over attentive sometimes which makes me think she’s needy because of me.

Peony I think DD throws baby tantrums. Like, as close to a trantrum as a baby can get. She does this when we do things she doesn't want to do, e.g. strapping her into the pram, changing her clothes, putting hats and gloves on, or if we take something off her (toy, or her water cup because she's getting soaked), or if we don't get the bottle in her mouth fast enough, or if we don't get the next spoon of puree in her mouth fast enough etc. I didn't think babies this young could have 'tantrums' but I watched that BBC show about baby development a few weeks ago and watched a toddler have a tantrum and it was basically exactly what DD does, just supersized up! I think it is a sign of intelligence tbh to be doing this so young, I mean, it shows that they know what they want, that they're frustrated about not being able to carry out their wishes, and that they can communicate that all back to us! I also hope it means starting so young will mean they learn techniques to manage their emotions young as well, iyswim? Distraction is apparently the most successful, according to research (was in that BBC documentary series), so we are trying to do that when it strikes, with a fair amount of success. I don't think you being attentive can cause or contribute to the amount of tantrumming tho, it's just normal part of baby/toddler development, and I'm definitely not over attentive with DD anymore lol and she does it a lot anyway so.

This morning is going ok so far, first day that DH is back on placement after the Xmas hols which I was panicking about but so far not too bad, phew. Also going to the retail park later with DPs and DB so that is something to break up the day, hopefully DD will sleep a bit in the car/pram and also be entertained looking at stuff when she's awake.

A huge crow has just landed on the streetlamp right outside my house, it's pretty!

I don't think she has a dairy allergy because she doesn't have any of the other symptoms, like eczema, rash, diarrhea, or anything (and GP is inclined to agree). I am loathe to change her milk in case that could even make things worse. Also now she has solids she sometimes has yoghurt and she is no worse on days when she has more dairy. But if she gets referred to a paed and they suggest anything to do with it than will follow their suggestions but surely if she had CMPI she would have rash/eczema etc not just crying with no other symptoms? No teeth yet although teething symptoms on and off since she was 12 weeks and most of her gum line is so bumpy and hard that it actually hurts to let her gnaw on our fingers now, poor thing. We tried Anbesol and didn't notice any difference and now we use Dentinox which seems to sometimes help but I think it's probably more a distraction thing, idk.

I'm glad swimming went well - DD was quite bad this week and usually she has started smiling and engaging in the class etc, but she had a few weeks off because of illness and Xmas holidays so...I'm hoping she will get back in the swing of things.

Yes that’s exactly what it is! I’ve been googling and it says babies with ‘emotionally powerful personalities’ are basically geniuses. . To be fair I am quite an emotion person, DH says a daughter of mine was never going to be easy. 😂 I just wish she didn’t whine about everything. Someone on social media posted a photo of their baby who had fallen asleep in their high chair the other day- like wtaf do babies do this? DD is way too alert it can take hours to get her to sleep/ nap unless I feed to sleep.

Hmm with the dairy thing DD has only just got a rash after I tried her with some the other day. Good news is that we have a referral to the hospital to help deal with it. DH is a lot better at getting these sorts of things sorted and went back to the doctor and asked- as it doesn’t seem right to just cut out dairy without any kind of guidance or advice from a dietitian. I have bought vitamins but don’t want her to miss out on eating it if we have misdiagnosed.

My doctor initially prescribed cows milk free formula (you can buy it but it’s very expensive). And said it’s worth trying for 2 weeks. I didn’t need to as I was BF and managed to give it up which saw a difference. If you are BF doctors say it’s not worth cutting out but health visitors always say otherwise. Have you tried her on different types of formula?

That’s a shame she didn’t enjoy swimming this week. I’m sure next time will be better. I’m only going to one or two baby groups this week- I’m just so tired and won’t enjoy socialising!

Hope the other posters on this thread are getting on well. No news is good news!

@perfectpeony I laughed out loud at the baby asleep on the high chair. I can't believe babies do things like that! I'm the same as you, sometimes it's hours to settle to sleep and always by breastfeeding.

We've had a really good few weeks with very little crying, until yesterday. He's was very grumpy when I tried to take him out in the pram (prefers the sling but I want to get him used to the pram again in case my parents look after him as they can't manage him in a sling, my dad is 70!) He was ok for about 20 minutes and then screamed all the way home. This morni g I tried again as he's generally cheerful first things but he again screamed all the way home. I just went for a walk with my mum and had him in the pram and he screamed for almost the full hour (he has a red blotchy face now) and has just fallen asleep with my boob in his mouth. Getting him to sleep took a while as he kept coming off and screaming at me, he was so wound up. Even my mum (who has had 5 babies) was shocked as she has frequently told me if he cries he'll tire himself out, I've told her thusbwill not work and I think she finally believes me. So how I'm trapped on the sofa with him asleep on me as I am every day. I've just started a course of antidepressants so fingers crossed these help.

@meadowhay I hope you're right about them being intelligent! We need something make it worthwhile ;)
He has been very smiley and vocal the past few weeks though and this is absolutely lovely to see. He's started to take more of an interest in things too so that helps distract him a bit. I just can't imagine what itvwoukd be like to go out with your baby and feel confident that they will be content!

Sorry for typos, he's just woken up :(

After all my moaning, I thought I'd do a happy update...

Over the last few weeks, my baby has suddenly become so much more happy! He's even giggling on a daily basis. Not sure why. A combination of factors maybe: the sitting independently, taking the occasional more than 30 minute nap, introducing a bottle of formula a day (he also suddenly decided he would drink from a bottle).... but more than anything I think just time!!! I mean he's probably never going to be the most chilled out baby but after 6.5 months of near constant unsettledness, I feel like this must be what life is like for most mum's with occasionally fussy babies.

Touch wood I'm not back again in another week tearing my hair out. But everyone else, hang on in there, one day at a time!

Just checking in with you all. No real change here, unfortunately. Been trying the cot sleeps this week, only mornings because I just can’t give up the potential of the long buggy sleep in the afternoon. It’s the only time I get any hope of an hour to myself, and I have to get out once a day or I crack up. On Monday he slept in the cot for 15 minutes, after two tries and doing 15 minutes on me. On Tuesday it took three turns and about 45 minutes of screaming, till he crashed out with exhaustion and slept there for 30 minutes. Yesterday, he woke himself coughing after 10 minutes, and wouldn’t go back. Today he’s been coughing all day long and has a temperature, so I have abandoned it again. Lots of screaming happening this week. Plus two hourly night waking every night since New Years, despite pumping 6/7oz into him in the evenings (a couple of nights formula, made zero difference except make him quite windy). I’m hoping solids and sitting up make a difference because I’m starting to lose it again.

Has anyone experienced nursing aversion? I’ve reallt started to feel it at night lately. I just get so agitated when he won’t unlatch. The comfort sucking actually makes me feel physically ill and I want to scream. It’s probably the frequent feeds at night, because I don’t feel it during the day.

Sweets Thanks, yep she watches a fair amount of TV but it keeps us both sane! Dare I ask, was your baby tantrummer also a horrendous toddler tantrummer?!

Haz Glad to hear things are looking up!

Yes it takes me ages to get DD to go to sleep as well! Often pushing her in the puschair works even in my hallway though, usually takes about 15 minutes which isn't too much hard work. She still only naps for about half an hour usually but oh well.

Peony We haven't tried different formulas no as we are always worried about potentially making things worse, I mean other than a bit of mild trouble passing stools, she's not had any other clear digestive issues so we are always worried about causing them by messing about with her formula.

Fuschia Tbh, I think your mum is right in that eventually all babies will tire themselves out with crying, it's a physical thing - however I know from experience it can take DD upwards of 2hrs before that happens! So your DC might be the same, and that would be a very long walk to be screamed at for that long in the pram, you poor thing . How old is your DC, I lose track? Do you have a travel system? I hope the meds help you .

Bad You poor thing, sorry to hear DS is poorly, DD had 3 illnesses practically in a row between 5-6 months old, it was grim. Sorry to hear about your BF troubles too, I hope this doesn't come accross wrong because I'm 100% an advocate of BF and I wish I could have continued to BF longer - and you are doing an amazing thing - however if it's making you feel so awful, you could consider stopping, or mixed feeding to take soem of the pressure off, or if it's just the nighttime, you could bottle feed over night and just BF in the day? Does DC have a dummy (sorry I've probably asked everyone on this thread this like 10 times but my brain is like a sieve...)? I think it's a bit of a myth that formula improves sleep tbh cos I don't think babies that wake very frequently are doing it cos of hunger so formula won't change that. Certaintly formula before bed made no difference to DD's sleep patterns when we first introduced it.

DD has learnt to sit unaided!! I took her to the baby group today and got stuck next to a woman who had a DS the same age and was constantly trying to one-up everything I said it was so annoying. Like I made a flippant comment about her not sitting herself yet, and she actually went "how old is she?" and i went "nearly 7 months" and she genuinely went " seven months ?! And she's still not sitting?" - yes she actually said 'STILL' . Cheeky cow. Anyway I think DD was just as pissed off, as she decided that this afternoon at baby group was the right time to suddenly sit perfectly happy playing with toys, without needing me to support her! So then I also looked like a right wally grinning and going "SHE'S NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE OMG" lol.

MeadowHay, that’s hilarious! Well done DD. I hate people like that. Hopefully she’ll be a bit happier now. Once my DD learned to sit properly unaided (also at 7 months!) she was crawling a few weeks later. I’m really hoping these screamers are frustrated and will be a bit more content when they can get on the move.

On the bf - it’s tricky. I don’t really want to stop, because I don’t think I could add the labour associated with ff to the mix. I’m barely keeping on top of things as it is. Especially at night - he wakes 5-6 times a night, and I’ve no idea if he’s hungry or what. For the most part, he latches on and goes back to sleep pretty quickly. If I had to get out of bed, make a bottle, try to feed it to him, then try to settle him by rocking, I’d probably go mad I think. Plus the toddler would likely wake up as well. The aversion is mostly at the start of the night, when I’m pissed off that the big bottle didn’t give me any kind of stretch, and I know I’m facing into lots of wakings from that point on so there’s no chance of more than a two hour sleep for me. And also after 5am, when sometimes he’s a bit harder to settle and I start getting worried that I’m going to have to get up and go downstairs. All in all, I’m going to try to stick with it for a bit longer. We’re going on holiday when he’s 9 months and if I get to that so I don’t have to lug bottles and formula with me, I’ll probably stop after. Can’t see myself getting to 18 months this time around!

DH and I have both noticed she's been much better this week than the last couple of weeks, and she's been on the ranitidine for a week now. She does through phases where she's better than at other times, and I think the Xmas holidays were particularly difficult for her as with DH being home and me working on applications, none of the groups I take her to were on, the weather was crap, we visited a lot relatives that she doesn't know well enough not to be anxious etc so, it could be a coincidence. GP said 2 weeks for the ranitidine to show improvement so we'll see how she is over the next week, and there's always the chance that it's coincidental given she can now sit and so on, but if she does seem better on it we will continue with it, but I will feel soooo guilty that I didn't take her to the GP as a newborn and insist on her having it and I let her suffer for months and months, if that's what was bothering her .

With bottles though, he might feed to sleep on a bottle anyway so that wouldn't be much more difficult if he did, and also you could try using pre-made formula so you don't have to faff too much, DD hasn't fed in the night consistently since the first 8 weeks and I was still doing most the night feeds as BFs then but when we did/do on the odd night, we keep an empty sterilised bottle in the pockets of the nursing chair in our bedroom, with a muslin, and a bib, and two small bottles of pre-made formula so we can just pour it into the bottle and stick bib on her and then feed her on the nursing chair. But she won't feed to sleep so the reason a night feed fills us with particular dread is cos you're always stuck up for an hour rocking her slowly to sleep . But lots of babies do bottle-feed to sleep. I hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to convince you to stop or reduce BF though because I'm really not, it's just it's probably not as much faff as you imagine if you use pre-made and there's the possibility that he might reduce his wakings if he is given a larger amount of formula, or learns he doesn't get the breast every time he wakes, but I also appreciate that could take awhile and be really fucking grim in the meantime!

Will he take a dummy? If so, you could try offering that for some of the night wakings? I'm assuming he won't take one though cos I'm sure you'd already be trying that if he did, so you could get some rest.

DD is coming on holiday with me, DPs, and DB when she's about 9 months as well, so yeah it will be a pain carting bottles and formula with us! Although she only has 4 bottles a day now and by 9 months potentially only 3 but depends how well weaning goes I guess.

I used to shower with my son. I had a little chair and once he had a shower I'll seat him wrapped in a towel to watch me shower.
This was a very good solution.

Read a few posts and just saying in case it’s helpful, I didn’t go to water babies as they’re like 15 something for 30 mins, I joined splash babies, in same pool same time for 10 for 30. Plus if you can’t make a session and you cancel same day by 9 you don’t lose it so look out for other groups!

My dd is 6 weeks so think it’s too early to tell if she’s a screamer. However when she is screaming if she’s fed changed and winded I pop her in swing for a bit. I’ve actually left room and used monitor already.I don’t leave for longer than 2 mins and I know she’s very young for this, but because she’s in swing and has dummy and bird song she is being actively soothed. I haven’t left her to cry with nothing. This works well especially when she’s over tired, if I’m in the room she doesn’t give up or give in, now I’ve started leaving her she’s napping so much better and going into deep sleeps at night. Just making it clear I’m like outside the door, watching her, but last night I only had to go in 3 times and she was in deep sleep.
When she’s fast asleep I’ve moved her into her rocking Moses basket, kept up the movement for 5 mins and then she’s been good.

I’ve found using a monitor amazing, it’s like you can see it, mute the sound and take control. It’s working well for me so far but I don’t use it all the time just started using it the few times she’s really wailed I’ve used it just to watch her safely but take myself away.

Wish you all the best!

Lovely to read some good news.

I’ve had a bad day. Took the morning nap late because of a baby group. Seemed alright for a bit. Then she screamed all day. Won’t nap by herself in cot/ chair. Won’t nap while feeding as she’s not hungry and kept biting me. 2-3 hours crying till she’s hungry enough to feed to sleep. Days like this I just feel completely broken. Tried the cry approach and I gave up after 45 minutes. I sat and ate lunch and just listened to her.

I have a friend with a small baby who just fucking sleeps and does nothing. I want to scream at people who have no clue how hard it is. I can’t have a conversation with her without feeling really pissed off.

I don’t even want to meet up with my NCT group anymore as I’m just waiting for an overtired screaming fit. It makes me feel like crap. I’m obviously just not very good at this.

Maybe I will just stick to routine from now on and only leave the house later morning and in the afternoon.

Blue Was this a special bath chair? Thinking of buying one for DD now that she can sit up herself, although she's not stable yet. At the moment I either shower while she's asleep, or put her on a blanket with some toys on the landing just outside the bathroom door so she can still see me. It works quite well but she gets bored usually around the time that I start putting my clothes on but then I still need to blow dry my hair, brush my teeth, finish getting dressed, brush my hair etc so usually have to do all that whilst she cries or screams depending on how she's feeling .

Poppy Congrats on your baby, but I wouldn't worry - if she was a screamer, you would know about it by now!! I think for many of us though if we leave the room it makes our DC worse though - it definitely does for my DD, she can go from crying badly to hysterical screaming fit within about 5 seconds if I go out of her view . Sigh.

Oh Peony for you. I know how you feel, the bad (worse?!) days are so, so hard. I've cried about 4 times today, feeling quite low and crushed myself even though she hasn't actually been too awful, I'm just really tired and also on my period and I suffer quite badly with mine so feeling generally a bit run down and just really struggling with it all. Mainly like you because it is sooooo much work to get her to have a nap and she wakes after 20/30 mins still tired and grumpy! I did get to a baby group this afternoon though which went ok although I had to walk around with her outside for 15 mins as she clearly was exhausted but then she fell asleep and I took her in and she stayed asleep for 30 mins so I had a brew and a chat whilst she was asleep in the pram. There was only 5 of us there and one of them I met the week before Xmas hols who is nice, but I felt so sad and awkward when they were all talking about how they all had labours of no longer than 3 hours and problem-free births on G&A and stuff.... One woman went to hospital at 3cm dilated, the same hospital as I went to, at the same dilation, and they put her straight on the G&A and stuff. When I went they said they wouldn't make me go home cos they knew I was anxious - they had my details already about my mental health problems and autism - but they wouldn't give me any pain relief as I wasn't in active labour yet. That was at 11pm at night and I was left in a room in the MLU with DH and nobody checked me until DH had went out on 3 separate occasions to ask a midwife to come and see me and somebody finally came around 5am by which time I was 8cm and had no access to pain relief until then. The fact that I was treated so differently from someone else in the same hospital makes me feel even worse and more angry.

Anyway...Peony will she sleep in the car/pram? DH and I spend hours every day just walking now, with DD in the pushchair. It is getting really physically tiring especially for me obviously on weekdays but it's the only way I can get her to nap usually. It's still demoralising because I will walk for an hour and a half and sometiimes only get a 30 min nap out of her still. But better than no nap and even if she's awake in the pushchair she doesn't cry if you keep on the move.

Oh, MeadowHay, you poor thing. You had an awful time of it. Be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone on this thread (which is very). If DD naps and is quiet in the pushchair, then just use it. Everything is temporary. When she drops to one nap, it won’t be a big deal at all if that’s in the pushchair. And you are getting outside, and getting exercise. So don’t worry too much.

Peony, hope you are getting some time now. I had one of those awful days on Tuesday. Now of course I see that he was brewing something, but I wanted to just run away. Hugs. And dairy-free wine.

DS is still sick, so has been more unsettled than usual the last few days. He hasn’t been taking the long pushchair nap either, so I’ve had no break at all since Monday. My back is hurting from carrying him around all day, and from sleeping sitting up in bed with him. He wouldn’t take his late afternoon nap today, and fell asleep feeding at around 6 (v rare). He’s been asleep on and off since then. He’s not in his pyjamas, and he needs a nappy change but I just don’t want to wake him. Gah.

Aww, you poor things. You have my sympathy 😀.
Been there, a long time ago.
Haven't read the full thread so apologies if this has already been suggested.
I am a reflexologist and have treated babies. It is very calming for screamers. Of course you all make sure that nothing physical is wrong,
But it sometime works wonders to just gently massage/cuddle the baby's feet underneath with lots of lotion on your hands.
Soo sorry I didn't know this trick when dd was a baby.
Furthermore... Sometimes it is personality.. Dd is a very strong minded girl and has always been. You know when there is something she doesn't approve of, would have loved to have known that from the beginning 😀.
Best of luck.

Thanks everyone. I’ve calmed down now . I think sometimes I risk it too much with switching her naps around when I just need to accept she needs time to sleep. She’s so happy and smiley. She smiles more than a lot of babies we know, but equally she get extremely upset too. Which is definitely part of her personality.

Meadow. I’m glad that ranitidine may potentially be working. We tried it once and I can still remember the smell of it! Although I found it a lot easier to administer than that gaviscon stuff. I’m sorry it’s been so exhausting for you with pram/ car naps. I’m actually lucky that DD will nap in pram. But tbh I’m lazy... for example today I’d already been out and I was super tired. I wanted to persevere I suppose to get her to nap in the house. I think I will just have to get on with it more and get off my arse. I think it’s because the last few times I’ve taken her out, as soon asI get the pram back in the kitchen she’ll wake up. So I’ve walked a mile or so for nothing.

Bad I understand the back pain. I never had problems with my back before I had DD. She weighs well over a stone now and I find it too much to walk far even in the ergo. I BF lying down with DD at night instead of sitting up but it still hurts to get myself in that awkward sleeping position with arm out.

Eeek every morning I tell myself I will get an early night. I’ll no doubt get woken up in an hour!

Thank you lamdanish for your post! It’s always nice when we get posters on this thread who have been through it. We did try cranial osteopathy but I will look into that.